Anticipation

I always wonder about couples who see each other every single day.  I tire very easily of the company of most people, so when I'm seeing a guy, I tend to mark my territory and claim my space.  This doesn't really work out so well because many people like to spend more time together as they progress through their relationship.

This is one of the things that scares me when I'm looking at the prospect of long term relationships.  I enjoy companionship, but I enjoy my time alone.  This is one of the really great points about my current relationship.  He spends almost four days out of town a week, and that doesn't include when he travels for work or vacation.  This gives me plenty of time to miss him.

I spend these days with my family, out hiking, reading, basically doing the things I enjoy doing.  Thoughts of him occasionally invade my mind and I think about how good it will be to see him again.  I think about the things I'll tell him when he asks what I've been up to, I take pictures of things to show him.

I appreciate that our time is limited.  I realize that there are so many other things that he enjoys doing, but he always makes time to spend with me and he always sounds so enthusiastic when we make plans to get together.  It's hard to imagine that my life won't always be this way.

I've been an anxious person for so many years.  I rarely look forward to anything, always citing some unseen malady waiting to befall any given situation.  With him, it's a giddy anticipation.  Even if I've done something that could potentially get on his bad side (haven't yet) I feel a rush of giggles and excitment when I'm on my way to see him.

I wonder if we moved in together if this would change.  If the excitment of him coming home will turn into "meh".  I wouldn't want this aspect of our relationship to change.  I like the calls from airports or texts telling me he's on his way, he'll be home in 6 hours.  It's almost like a hormonal high, I feel so attatched without being smothered.  I'm missed without being stalked.  I'm going to go see someone who is just as excited about seeing me, and the thoughts race about my head.

I believe in the longevity of our relationship, and I'm planning on making it a point to stay as excited about him in ten years as I am tonight as I type this.  People get way too comfortable with the everyday interaction of their partner, and I think that sometimes the spark that lit your relationship is extinguished by monotony.  I pray this never happens to us.

There are very few feelings in the world that measure up to good anticipation.