5 Funny Sex Injuries

Kissing is supposed to be safe: You're not going to get an STI. You're not giving up your lady-flower. Unless you're kissing a vampire, the worst that's gonna happen is the awkward I-have-to-breathe-but-I-don't-wanna-pull-away feeling... right? Wrong. Apparently kissing can make you go deaf.

That's right: a smooch can kill your hearing, and one Chinese woman recently suffered just this fate. Luckily she'll be able to hear again in two months, but for now, her boyfriend's apologies will fall on dead ears.

According to the woman's doctor, "the kiss reduced the pressure in the mouth, pulled the eardrum out and caused the breakdown of the ear." That's one passionate smacker! Physicians in China have warned people to "proceed with caution."

All this got us wondering: what other injuries do people suffer in the name of love? Apparently a lot! Aside from the normal bruises and scrapes (and, of course, STIs), watch out that you don't…

1. Rupture blood vessels in your eye during an intense orgasm. Read: 10 Surprising Orgasm Facts

2. Accidentally swallow the condom during oral sex. Read: The Etiquette of Oral Sex

3. Break his penis (or yours). It's called a penis fracture, and you'll know if it happens because you'll hear a pop or a snap.

4. Insert something in your rectum that you can't, um, un-insert. Read: How To Avoid Anal Accidents

5. Get too up close and personal with a Jacuzzi. You could end up with air in your abdomen, which is not healthy.

We're sure these injuries weren't funny when they happened, but we get a kick out of reading about them now!

More Juicy Content From YourTango:
• Kissing 101: 6 Steps To Make A Kiss Perfect
• 10 Unusual Facts About Kissing
• 7 Ways To Keep Things Hot