11 Ways To Have A Mental Glow-Up To Become 'That Girl' Emotionally, Physically & Spiritually
It's all about the little things.
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock While there are certainly problematic and societally flawed connotations around a "glow-up" in today's culture, according to experts like social psychologist Dara Greenwood, there's nothing wrong with prioritizing a "mental glow-up." By focusing on the things that truly matter — like finding fulfillment, crafting your values, and finding that "perfect" everyday routine — you're not only boosting your internal well-being, you're choosing peace, security, and independence over fear, anxiety, and constant worry in your daily life.
Many of the ways to have a mental glow-up to become "that girl" emotionally, physically and spiritually seem obvious, but if you truly look at the habits you feed into on a daily basis, are they really? Intentionality is everything. How can you craft better intentional habits that feed into your self-esteem, so that when you look in the mirror, you see someone worthy of love, connection, and grace?
Here are 11 ways to have a mental glow-up to become 'that girl' emotionally, physically and spiritually
1. Practice self-soothing techniques
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You've definitely seen this powerhouse of a woman before — they navigate conflict in the workplace with grace and embody the nature of a "cool, calm, and collected" peacemaker, even when emotions and chaos are running rampant.
The key to having a mental glow-up to become "that girl" is all about emotional intelligence — learning how to cope with stress, self-soothe in the face of chaos, and practice empathy in ways that everyone can't help but admire. It's more important than charisma, charm, and even a sociable personality, because a woman that can independently soothe herself and pave a way through adversity's emotional intelligence will speak for itself.
According to psychologist Judith Orloff, not every self-soothing practice will work for everyone, so try them all before you focus in on a few. Whether it's deep-breathing techniques, positive self-talk, taking accountability, reflecting in your alone time, or visualizing yourself as the strong, capable, and intelligent woman you surely are, self-soothing comes from within.
2. Go to therapy
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There's only so much peace and healing that self-care rituals, great social circles, and personal workout routines can spark — true "that girl" energy comes from therapy and doing the internal work. Even if you're hesitant or unsure about the practice, give it a try. When you find the right therapist who not only listens but understands and supports you in your unique journey, it'll make all the difference.
A study published in Development and Psychopathology argues that unresolved trauma and deep-seated toxic experiences in our lives tend to linger, even when we're not consciously aware of them. They can sabotage our self-esteem, our ability to form meaningful relationships, and even professional success, all without a second of internal thought or acknowledgement. Therapy can help to uncover these struggles and heal from them fully, so we can enter the world and form connections that are truly fulfilling and add value to our lives.
People who are emotionally, physically and spiritually balanced understand that therapy is for everyone, not just someone who's struggling with mental illness, grief, or adversity. When you make the decision to build a healthy relationship with a therapist when things are good, you'll have the foundation to rely on when you inevitably encounter adversity in your life.
3. Raise your standards
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Whether it's childhood trauma, low self-esteem, or fear of rejection, many women tend to settle in their relationships — whether they're romantic, professional, or platonic — for the sake of social connection, even at the expense of their internal emotional well-being. One of the ways to have a mental glow-up to become "that girl" emotionally, physically and spiritually is to get realistic about the value of the people in your social circle.
Coupled with raising your standards and crafting new expectations for the relationships in your life, figure out who is adding value to your life — and those that may not be — in your social circle. It's okay to create distance and grow from people who are sabotaging your well-being, especially if they're not receptive to open communication and change themselves.
Like therapist John Kim argues, there are two types of people in the world: people who shine and people who drain. What kind of person do you want in your corner?
4. Practice gratitude often
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According to experts from Harvard Health, the simple daily practice of expressing gratitude and giving thanks can drastically boost your well-being and happiness.
Even if that means pulling out your journal in the morning and carving out some space to write about the things you're grateful for or saying "thank you" to more colleagues at work, opening yourself up to the benefits of gratitude can make all the difference for a more balanced well-being.
5. Drink more water
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It seems so simple and even more overhyped, but drinking water could truly solve a lot of the problems that drain you on an everyday basis. According to CDC experts, dehydration — sparked by consuming less than 3 liters of water a day — can cause struggles with concentration and focus, headaches, mood swings, and even digestive problems that derail your routine.
Changing your routine and having a mental glow-up isn't all about tackling deep-rooted trauma, making more friends, and being your most charismatic self; rather, it's about feeding your internal well-being — or, in this case, hydrating it — so that you can show up as your best, most balanced, and confident self.
6. Adopt a practical movement routine
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When you're more focused on achieving an outcome than enjoying the journey of a movement routine — and, in general, when you're chasing goals in your everyday life — it's much harder to channel self-discipline and true growth. Overtraining your body for the sake of looking better or being "more attractive" by a societal standard can have consequences — not just on your physical well-being, but also on your mental health.
You'd be surprised how much growth, physically and emotionally, a movement routine structured around self-care, compassion, and excitement will spark. If you're excited to move your body, it makes you feel rejuvenated, and it's a practice that you can easily engage in every day, you're more likely to stick to a routine where it becomes second nature.
For some people, it's taking a walk outside. For others, hot yoga, a Pilates class, kickboxing, or a run club. Even if it's just stretching before you go to bed, find a consistent movement routine that works for you.
7. Prioritize quality sleep
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There's a ton of research that suggests that sleep is one of the most important foundational aspects of protecting both emotional and physical well-being, yet many of us are still sacrificing it for the sake of "doom-scrolling" on our phones, overworking ourselves in the office, or grasping at a few extra minutes of low-quality sleep after our alarms go off.
Bad sleep patterns don't just harm our mental well-being and physical health — sparking stress, anxiety, immune problems, and bodily dysfunction — they're also subtle determinants of worsened social connections, lowered economic stability, and even high-risk diseases. Getting between 7 and 9 hours of sleep should be a top priority.
While you're at it, make some time for a healthy morning routine. You'll be surprised how much better you'll feel when you get enough sleep, nourish your body in the morning, and actually wake up to that realistic alarm you set.
8. Wear what makes you feel good
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It might seem subtle, but getting dressed in the morning in clothes that make you feel confident can have a drastic effect on the way you feel throughout the day, including how productive you are at work, how empathetic you are to your peers, and how present you are in conversations with your partner.
Self-expression is a fundamental part of our identities, which is why nurturing it as a practice is so important, and is one of the ways you can have a mental glow-up to become "that girl" emotionally, physically and spiritually. When we wear things that empower us, it's not just our emotional well-being that benefits, but our identity and self-esteem as well.
9. Adopt solitude rituals
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According to research from the University of Reading, solitude and alone time can boost your general well-being, but only if you know how to leverage this free time. When you feed into rituals — like stretching, meditating, or investing in hobbies you enjoy — when you're alone, you're more likely to reap the emotional benefits of spending time alone, like being more reflective, emotionally intelligent, and calm.
Solitude rituals, over an alone time "routine," give us the grace to practice habits and hobbies that uplift us based on what we need in that moment. If we're stressed, we can meditate or engage in a creative endeavor. If we're feeling excited, we can self-reflect and journal. If it's anger and resentment we're grappling with, alone time can give us the opportunity to regulate and acknowledge our own emotions. The true "that girls" are emotionally intelligent, but not by nature — by practice.
10. Avoid gossip and drama
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While there are some surprising benefits to occasional gossip — like social bonding and repairing problematic behaviors — engaging in it too often can spark an aura of negativity that invades our emotional well-being and sense of internal peace.
To be "that girl" and have a true mental glow-up that impacts your everyday life, you have to stop feeding into negative and invalidating conversations with people who drain the energy from a room. To be a charismatic, thoughtful, and understanding person, you have to stop being overly judgmental and critical of people, even when you don't agree with them, understand their perspective, or feel drawn toward positivity.
11. Celebrate small wins often
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Many people get caught up in toxic societal beliefs that hyper-focus on large life events and traditional celebrations — like weddings, baby showers, graduation parties, and engagements. The truth is, you're just as worthy of celebration when you ace a test, get out of a toxic relationship, focus on yourself, or stick to a routine, so why not celebrate those small wins?
People who make time for self-empowerment and celebration aren't just more social, they're more confident. If there's anything that fuels the ways to have a mental glow-up to become "that girl" emotionally, physically and spiritually the most, it's confidence.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
