People Share 8 'Normal' Things They Do In Their Marriages That Other Couples Would Judge Hard
Do whatever works best for you and your relationship!
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock Every relationship is different, and what works in one marriage won't in another. Sometimes your relationship gets weird in the best, most "only-we-get-this" kind of way.
One mom on TikTok asked other married people to share things that are "'normal' in your marriage that other people would be shocked to hear." She clarified that she wanted the tea, and commenters didn't disappoint.
Here are 8 'normal' things people do in their marriages that other couples may judge hard:
1. They take separate vacations.
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Once you’re married, some people believe that any traveling you do should be with your spouse. However, just because you are married does not mean you are fused to that person, nor does it mean you aren’t allowed to vacation on your own or with friends.
Plus, believe it or not, vacationing without them can actually strengthen your marriage. “We all know that life can be stressful and overwhelming at times, so when we give our spouse a break and encourage them to get away and have a good time while we handle things at home, they often come home rested and appreciative,” marriage psychologist Meredith Hansen explained on her site.
She continued, “In most cases, your [spouse] will have spent the weekend laughing and relaxing, which will boost their mood and leave them feeling grateful and loving towards you, and ready to come back and help!”
2. They don’t buy each other birthday presents.
Not buying your partner expensive gifts does not imply that you hate each other (even if this is what other married couples assume). Maybe you both may prefer experiences over physical presents. Perhaps gift-giving is at the bottom of both of your love language lists. Sometimes, simply spending time together is the most valuable gift of all.
3. They have separate bank accounts.
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The phrase, “What’s mine is yours, and what’s yours is mine,” is commonly associated with marriage. However, some people prefer to keep at least some of their finances separate. Many people value their financial independence, and having access to their own money means they get to spend it how they want, avoiding explosive arguments over different spending habits.
While some couples may find it more practical to have a joint bank account, having separate ones is not uncommon. A report by SoFi suggests that about 10% to 15% of couples keep their money entirely separate.
4. They text each other from opposite rooms.
When your spouse is in the kitchen, sometimes it’s easier to text them from the bedroom than get up or yell across the house. Why let that WiFi go to waste, especially if you’re paying for it! While everyone preaches face-to-face interaction with your spouse, sometimes texting is just more convenient — even when you are under the same roof.
5. They watch TV shows separately.
Some married couples refuse to watch any TV series or movie without their partner. For them, it’s crucial quality time together after long days apart. However, not all spouses have the same taste in television, and that's OK. Why force yourself to watch Game of Thrones when you would much prefer Gilmore Girls? And vice versa!
6. They don’t discuss large purchases.
Some couples discuss all of their purchases, especially big ones. However, other couples view that as micromanaging and feel more at ease allowing each other full financial autonomy. The important thing is figuring out what works for you and your relationship!
It is also important to note that what is considered a "big" purchase will differ in every marriage. Some people may be able to drop $1,000 on a singular purchase without even mentioning it to their spouse. For others, that is the difference between affording rent and not.
7. They sit in silence for hours.
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There is something special about loving someone so much that you can sit comfortably in silence with them for hours at a time. That’s where real intimacy happens! Love doesn’t always need to be conveyed through words. When you can sit in silence with your spouse without the pressure to fill the space, what you’re (nonverbally) saying is, “I don’t need to entertain you, and you don’t need to entertain me. I just like being near you.”
So, crack open your favorite books and sit next to each other on the couch to read. Sit outside on the porch to watch the sunrise without speaking a word to each other. Sometimes, just simply being together is the best connection we can have with our spouse.
8. They have separate bathrooms.
We've all heard of "sleep divorce," but what about "bathroom divorce?" Some couples swear that this is the secret to a healthy marriage. To them, separate bathrooms equal a peaceful and happy household.
One partner may prefer a spa vibe, with a candle lit on the counter, and not a single drop of water on the floor type. Yet their spouse may be one to leave toothpaste in the sink, towels on the floor, and the toilet seat up. As you can imagine, when these two worlds collide, it’s not always pretty.
Truly, separate bathrooms can be a real romance saver! "The bathroom is a space where we attend to highly intimate aspects of ourselves, and a high-risk environment to reveal habits of cleanliness, which can be contentious for couples," marriage and family therapist Laura Petiford told TODAY. “On a superficial level, having two bathrooms might allow for maintaining a higher level of romance, keeping a degree of mystery."
Megan Quinn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on justice in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting debates, and the human experience.
