11 Subtle Signs Of A Not-So-Great Person
The way someone acts and treats others reveals quite a lot about them.
Pavel Vozmischev | Shutterstock Many people can honestly say that they do their best to be a good person. Whether it's with small actions like holding the door or something bigger like helping an older woman load her groceries into the car, being a good person is the main objective. However, times have changed, and it's becoming clearer that there are very specific subtle signs of a not-so-great person.
The last few years, there has been a shift. From people fighting over toilet paper to ignoring others when they bump into them, it seems people are much more disrespectful and rude. And though we've all acted out of sorts in some way, it's all about intention.
Here are 11 subtle signs of a not-so-great person
1. They don't tip their servers
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In America, it's commonplace to tip servers since most don't receive a proper hourly wage. Knowing how difficult it is to survive off less than minimum wage, it's considered polite to tip at least 15-20% percent.
But when people refuse to tip, even if the server in question provided excellent service, it only shows a lack of awareness. In their eyes, tipping is not their problem and bosses should simply pay employees livable wages, even though servers are the ones who suffer as a result. Unfortunately, many restaurants have done nothing about this, and people are beginning to feel taken advantage of.
According to Pew Research Center, most people (77%) say they tip based on the quality of the service; 57% of people say they tip 15% or less for an average meal at a sit-down eatery, 2% say they wouldn't leave any tip, and only 25% say they would tip 20% or more for their service.
While most individuals would agree that tipping culture has gotten out of control and that servers' minimum wage should be increased, as it stands, this won't change anytime soon. And it's certainly not the service workers' fault.
2. They don't say 'thank you' when someone holds the door for them
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Certain manners are a given, and saying "thank you" is no exception, and a person's ability to say thank you can reveal a lot about them. In the same way, one of the subtle signs of a not-so-great person is when they refuse to say thank you, especially when someone has gone out of their way to help. For example, holding the door open.
This is a nicety that people don't have to do, but it's all too normal to see both men and women go out of their way to keep the door open for others, as they don't want to appear rude or ill-mannered. However, it's also more likely for people to feel as if they don't owe another person a simple "thank you" for doing this.
The common argument is that if someone expects a thank you, they shouldn't bother holding open the door in the first place. Yet, regardless of what the other person expects, one thing is for certain: refusing to say thank you is rude.
Unfortunately, bad manners have become increasingly common. According to Pew Research Center, 47% of Americans say that public behavior has gotten much ruder in the last few years since the pandemic. So, while people might feel empowered to not say anything, refusing to show basic manners can rub people the wrong way and impact others' perception of them.
3. They don't turn their high beams off when a car is approaching
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For people who don't enjoy driving at night, when cars use their high beams, it can be incredibly distracting, especially if their vision isn't too great. The same goes for people who flash their high beams when it's nighttime. And when people don't turn off their high beams when they see another car coming, it indicates very entitled and rude behavior.
Too often, people keep their lights on when someone is coming, effectively blinding them and making the other driver more prone to getting into an accident. In fact, one one 2022 study found that half of fatal accidents on the road occur at night, and 12-15% are due to high beam headlights.
Understandably, people will always put their safety first, and may use their high beams if they, themselves, really can't see well. But turning off high beams for a few seconds isn't a complete hindrance for the average person.
4. They don't return their shopping cart
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While it's a very minor thing, one of the really subtle signs of a not-so-great person is when they don't return their shopping cart to the proper area after loading their car. But just because someone is tired doesn't mean they get to make other people's lives difficult. And just like milk, if someone takes the cart out, it's their responsibility to put it back in.
Unfortunately, what others do absolutely influences how likely someone is to put away their shopping cart. According to a research from Scientific American, people who saw carts strewn everywhere in the parking lot were 58% more likely to do so with their own cart, compared to 30% if the carts were neatly stacked.
Whether it's impatience or just plain laziness, people leaving carts out by their car make everyone's lives more difficult, including the workers responsible for gathering carts and even other cars in the parking lot. It doesn't take much to put a shopping cart back, but it does reveal quite a lot about someone's character.
5. They talk loudly on their phone in public
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When out in public, we've all experienced someone speaking loudly on their phone. Even if they can't quite make out what's being said, people can hear another individual revealing all their business. And it's an indicator that the person on the phone may not be so wonderful after all.
It should go without saying that people should be mindful of what they do in public. While many individuals would like to believe that they can do whatever they want, behaving in a rude manner has its consequences. According to a study published in Social Cognition, shaking off a bad first impression is much harder than people realize. Researchers found that it took participants weeks longer to revise their bad first impression of someone.
So, while they might not think much of it, being rude and talking loudly does have negative consequences, even if it's from a complete stranger.
6. They don't let anyone merge in traffic
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Even the most experienced drivers may be worried about merging into traffic, as it's common for people to cut them off at the last second or not let them in at all. Sure, they might be looking out for themselves, but this doesn't change the fact that it's completely unnecessary and dangerous.
Road rage is no joke, and ill-tempered people have no issues taking it out on innocent bystanders. According to the American Safety Council, 68% of traffic fatalities are caused by aggressive driving, and over a 7-year period, there were 218 murders and 12,610 injuries that resulted from road rage.
While many might not see a huge deal with not letting someone merge, there will be people out there who take it personally, putting themselves and everyone around them in danger. And even if they don't encounter an aggressive driver, allowing someone to merge is a common decency and indicates someone practicing defensive driving.
7. They don't say 'I'm sorry' after bumping into someone
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It's common decency to say "I'm sorry" after accidentally bumping into someone. Whether it's a child or an older person, having the manners to treat everyone with dignity and respect is a sign of a good person. On the other hand, one of the subtle signs of a not-so-great person is when they refuse to apologize after running into someone, even if it wasn't on purpose.
The amount of disrespect that goes into refusing to say this cuts deep. When someone messes up, it's common sense to apologize and show accountability. But by not doing so, it says more about the other person than it ever does about the person on the receiving end.
People who refuse to take accountability have a fragile ego. According to mental health professional Jamie Cannon, "No one takes accountability anymore because to do so has somehow become an indication of weakness, a trait avoided at all costs to survive the hectic environment we live in."
While others might think it's beneath them to simply say "I'm sorry," refusing to do this is a huge sign of disrespect and may indicate they just aren't a good person.
8. They don't pick up their trash
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With climate change being the most pressing issue of our time, people should really consider how their individual actions contribute to the health of the planet. It should go without saying that everyone should want to leave the planet in great shape for the future generations. Unfortunately, not everyone thinks this way, putting their ego and sense of entitlement before the betterment of humanity.
According to ecologist and limnologist Nina Munteanu, people don't pick up their litter because they don't want to take responsibility, believe there's no consequences for littering, or lack the proper environmental education. And, in some cases, they don't care to learn about the impact of litter on the environment. In short, it's apathy and negligence, and an indicator that someone may not be a good person.
9. They never say 'bless you' when someone sneezes
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Most parents taught their children to say "bless you" or some form of it when someone sneezes, whether due to superstition but likely because of important manners. Unfortunately, there are people out there who don't care for either of these things, and may pass those bad manners onto their kids.
Many people see saying "bless you" as a waste of time because they don't see the point of it. Everyone sneezes, so why should they need to extend this sentiment? But these poor manners only work against them, making them seem rude and boorish.
10. They talk over others without letting them finish
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One of the more obvious yet still subtle signs of a not-so-great person is interrupting frequently in a conversation. While people may interrupt without meaning to, it's a truly bad habit that makes people appear disrespectful.
According to author and speaker Andy Lopata, "An interruption is not necessarily an attempt to rescue the listeners from dying of boredom. It can be as much, if not more, about the interrupter than about the original speaker. A range of factors, including personality type, upbringing, home environment, gender, and culture can influence how people converse with others."
No matter the intention, this behavior is problematic, especially in how it makes other people feel. Being on the receiving end of the interrupting can feel isolating and as if they aren't being heard.
11. They purposely walk slow in crowded areas
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It should go without saying that people with medical issues may need to walk slowly, but people who are perfectly capable of walking quickly but choose to walk slowly come off incredibly rude. People have places to be, whether it's returning from a lunch break or picking up kids.
Even so, just because a place is crowded doesn't mean they have to always rush. For instance, if it's a mall or a family gathering, there's no need to be hustling. However, if it's lunch and someone is walking on the sidewalk, they should pick up their pace or move to the side so people can pass them.
As great as it may be to plug in their headphones and go for a leisure walk, refusing to pay attention to their surroundings and being inconsiderate make them appear entitled and not-so-great.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
