If You Get Praised For These 11 Things, You're Probably Totally Exhausted
Praise from others is never worth sacrificing your own well-being for.
nikkimeel / Shutterstock Everyone deals with their own unique set of life struggles on a daily basis, many of which can spiral into experiences of chronic stress and anxiety that are impossible to ignore without properly addressing them. While the average person may be able to cope by distracting themselves or telling themselves it will all be OK, that doesn’t mean they’re building a healthy routine or addressing the root cause behind their issues.
In fact, many people are celebrated for managing unrealistic workloads, calmly navigating toxic relationships, or even making ends meet on an impossibly low salary — but if you get praised for these things there’s no chance you’re not exhausted. By addressing the struggles you’ve simply tolerated, you can pave a healthier path forward, looking out for yourself and building habits that help you deal with your pain, stress, and anxiety.
If you get praised for these 11 things, you're totally exhausted
1. Being the ‘go-to person’ at work
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If you’re the “go-to person” at work or in your life in any capacity, chances are you’re already feeling exhausted, even burnt out. While helping others can be beneficial to mental and emotional wellbeing, according to a study from the University of Alabama, along with helping individuals to form better bonds in places like the workplace, always being the person people seek guidance, advice, and support from can be taxing.
When you consistently put other people’s needs first, even subconsciously, you lose internal trust that fuels self-worth and self-esteem. Navigating the world without any kind of trust with yourself can be detrimental to more than your mental health, you start to seek external validation, sabotage new connections, and even promote habits and behaviors that lead to burnout and chronic stress.
If you need the reminder — it’s okay to say “no.”
2. Maintaining a big workload
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Whether it's family responsibilities, work burdens, or grief in your personal life, if you’re dealing with a big workload without any kind of self-care or mindfulness practices, there’s no chance you’re not exhausted.
According to experts from the Mayo Clinic, many of the early symptoms of burnout are subtle — meaning you could be simultaneously praised for tackling a big workload without even realizing you’re pushing yourself toward physical and emotional exhaustion.
Things like headaches, neck pain, brain fog, and procrastination can be easily overlooked as signs of burnout, but they could be the warning signs that allow you to prioritize rest amid a chaotic routine.
3. Being a great parent
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Being a “great parent” doesn’t mean being a “perfect” one, but there are several practices and habits like emotional resilience and regulation, healthy communication, and affectionate empathy that characterize parents doing a great job.
However, that’s not to say that being a parent is an easy job, by any means, every single one of the characteristics that great parents bring to the table are a feat in themselves to acquire and practice. Especially for people without a support system, financial security, or self-esteem and confidence, being praised for being a great parent is simultaneously a sign you’re probably exhausted.
4. Going on a lot of first dates
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If you're being praised for putting yourself out there or going on a lot of first dates, chances are you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed and exhausted. Of course, there’s ways to enter the dating scene and meet new people without exhausting yourself, but many people who set goals around first dates and dating tend to overlook some key essential habits and self-care practices.
If you’re exhausted by trying to meet your partner, make sure you’re spending a good deal of time focused on yourself. It might seem counterintuitive, but if you can adopt mindfulness habits like journaling that help you to learn more about yourself, your needs in a relationship, and even your ideal partner, or practice an exercise routine that helps you to unwind and de-stress, you’re more likely to show up as the best version of yourself on dates, attracting people that can add value to your life, rather than superficial connections that drain you.
5. Dealing with a toxic family member
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It can be emotionally draining to deal with a toxic family member, whether you’re an adult child navigating a relationship with a narcissistic parent or a sibling trying to make amends with a toxic sister. Chances are if you’re being praised for these things, like any of those above, there’s no chance you’re not exhausted.
Like experts from Charlie Health suggest, dealing with a toxic relationship and all the emotional and physical symptoms associated with it can be overwhelming, even for people that are “good” at figuring out how to compensate, distract themselves, and mediate the stress of their toxicity.
6. Making ends meet on a low salary
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There’s a solid link between emotional distress and financial instability in many households. People with less financial freedom or disposable income are largely more anxious, stressed, and depressed than their comfortable counterparts.
You may be praised for making ends meet or being able to live a happy life while making little money, but that doesn’t take away from the reality that it can be incredibly difficult, exhausting, and isolating.
7. Living on your own
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While many young adults today are forced to live at home or with roommates to offset financial insecurity and struggles, there are still a number of people who’ve been able to afford the expense of living alone — but it’s not always the peaceful, quiet, and healthy environment everyone believes it to be. Especially for people with a support system or healthy habits that encourage them to leave their home, social isolation and feelings of loneliness can have detrimental effects on emotional well-being.
It can feel disorienting for people living alone to get praised for these things, affording a solo living situation or handling their adult responsibilities on their own, but there’s no chance they’re not exhausted, especially if they feel guilty for struggling or grappling with loneliness.
8. Getting an education
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Especially in today’s world, getting an education is no easy feat. From navigating housing, to making enough money to support yourself in higher education, learning how to navigate the institution without support, and even affording larger costs like tuition, it can feel draining and overwhelming to navigate everyday life when you’re a student.
Whether you’re a Gen Z college student or a single parent going back to school, there’s a number of diverse struggles that people getting an education face — and even if they’re handling them without complaint, that doesn’t minimize their exhaustion.
9. Leading with kindness
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In today’s ultra-competitive world, many empathetic people who lead with kindness in their lives tend to grow exhausted by toxic relationships, misguided societal expectations, and being taken advantage of by people with narcissistic tendencies. Their kindness is easily taken for granted, especially in people who lack self-esteem, self-worth, and the confidence to set boundaries around their helpful attitudes.
Even if you’re praised for being a kind and empathetic person, it’s important to recognize the signs that people are taking advantage of your kindness — like expecting you to solve their problems, disrespecting your boundaries, or refusing to express gratitude — so that you’re not emotionally exhausting yourself trying to meet everyone else’s demands and expectations.
10. Making time for all of your friends
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The best kinds of friends, and oftentimes the most healthy ones, won’t exhaust you over-and-over again. If you’re praised for nurturing a million friend groups, but feel emotionally drained even when you’re around them, that’s a red flag you’re feeding energy into the wrong kinds of relationships.
If you’re absorbing other people’s stress, feeling obligated to say “yes” to social events, and even shouldering a friend’s problems, that may be a sign that you're nurturing the wrong kinds of friendships, like clinical psychologist David Susman suggests, and it’s time to let go.
Having a lot of friends can be incredibly beneficial for building community and navigating life with support, but if you’re feeling emotionally drained from meeting toxic friends’ demands and overlooking your own needs, there’s a chance you’re feeling exhausted for little benefit.
11. Starting a new business
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While there’s a lot of misconceptions around entrepreneurship that suggest business owners are more likely to deal with long-term stress and anxiety, research actually shows that the overwhelm associated with starting a business is more likely to fade over time. In fact, entrepreneurs actually report much less burnout, anxiety, and stress than their corporate counterparts working rigid 9-to-5s.
However, when you’re starting a business and in the first few years of figuring everything out, there’s no chance you’re not exhausted, unless you have the financial freedom to hire support and offload the most taxing responsibilities onto others.
From dealing with financial adversities to tackling a steep learning curve, starting a new business is one of the things that if you get praised for it, there’s no chance you’re not exhausted and battling a seemingly constant state of anxiety and stress.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
