11 Things Gen Z Would Love To Get From A Partner That Boomers See As Bare Minimum
Dating priorities, values, and expectations are shifting in a big way as Gen Z looks for their life-long partners.
Travis182 / Shutterstock Gen Z is largely reshaping the modern dating world as they navigate making connections online and through dating apps, and they are doing so with a slew of new values and priorities in mind. Especially considering many people in younger generations are battling mental health struggles and traditional social norms, it’s not surprising that they’re more open-minded and thoughtful about challenging traditionally rigid relationship expectations. In fact, there are certain things Gen Z would love to get from a partner that boomers see as bare minimum, largely because they’re cultivating and prioritizing different kinds of connections and commitments in their dating lives.
From being open-minded about experimentation to adopting less singularly exclusive relationships and even embracing singlehood, Gen Z’s priorities are clearly much different from their older counterparts when it comes to settling down or investing time in a romantic partner.
Here are 11 things Gen Z would love to get from a partner that boomers see as bare minimum
1. Loyalty
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Considering Gen Zers are largely navigating a dating landscape characterized by “choice overload,” multiple prospective partners, and the vastness of dating apps, it’s not entirely surprising that they’re yearning for a sense of loyalty from their partners.
While Gen Zers may be largely more willing to adopt a “friends-with-benefits” relationship or something less exclusive to one partner, they’re still yearning for a sense of loyalty and reliability — even in their seemingly “casual” intimate relationships. For baby boomers, who are much less likely to proudly embrace the label of singlehood and actively avoid committed relationships, it’s not surprising that this baseline of loyalty is a bare minimum in the exclusive relationships they’re seeking out.
2. Being posted about on social media
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From finding community to connecting with friends and even landing professional careers, social media and the Internet are foundational to many Gen Zer’s sense of belonging, which means it’s no surprise that it plays a role in their changing relationship expectations and values. While baby boomers might be more willing to post about their significant other online or share photos together, it’s a rite of passage for Gen Zers.
According to a McKinsey Health Institute survey, more than 50% of Gen Z feel social media is a source of genuine self-expression and social connectivity in their lives. In their relationships, social media plays a similarly important role — confirming the stability of a relationship by sharing it with an important community online.
3. Friendship
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According to marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, Gen Z collectively values friendships to the same degree as, if not more than, their intimate relationships as they tend to offer the companionship, emotional support, and loyalty they’re yearning for in their social lives. Considering younger generations are also largely adopting unconventional relationship types like “friends with benefits,” it’s not surprising that friendship is one of the things Gen Z would love to get from a partner that boomers see as bare minimum.
According to experts from Medigap, baby boomers are much more family-oriented than other age demographics — shaping and cultivating relationships that feed into this all-consuming value.
Their intimate relationships, painting with a broad stroke, are intended to be a reflection of the belonging and community they yearn for as a family unit, while Gen Zers are more interested in building an individual foundation where intimate relationships are a perk.
4. Authenticity
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Authenticity is the most important value for Gen Z, according to an EY survey, from their personal lives, building identity and crafting hobbies, to their social ones, finding community and crafting relationships.
While being themselves and finding a partner that’s authentically expressive may be a bare minimum expectation for baby boomers in their relationships by nature, Gen Zers — grappling with the all-consuming nature of social media, social norms, and overwhelming expectations — acknowledge that it’s not always all that easy to be genuine if you don’t have a great relationship with yourself.
Combating social pressures and norms that sabotage true genuinity, Gen Zers can’t help but yearn for authenticity — trying to challenge traditional standards that suppress their true self-expression or identity — in their personal and social lives.
5. Feeling heard
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Despite being largely committed to emotional intelligence and personal growth, many Gen Zers are too compelled by the thought of instant gratification to fully embrace communication skills like active listening amid the chaos of their daily lives.
Considering feeling heard is foundational to building a healthy and productive relationship, according to a study published in PLOS One, it’s no surprise that many young people are simultaneously yearning for people to listen to them, without being able to show up in the same way for others.
So, as baby boomers characterize active listening and feeling genuinely heard as a foundational element of their intimate relationships, Gen Zers struggle to find connections where they feel heard — settling for misguided dating ideals that revolve around love-bombing, people-pleasing, and finding instant gratification in casual relationships.
6. Quality in-person time together
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Many Gen Zers struggle with social anxiety and isolation from social communities, according to the experts from National Social Anxiety Center, largely due to societal pressures and the emergence of social media in their daily lives. While it’s largely a personal and emotional struggle, this social pressure can also sabotage the health of relationships — urging Gen Zers to yearn for in-personal quality time and affection whilst battling anxiety over engaging in it.
For baby boomers that grew up outside of social media and online connection, crafting and committing to in-person relationships founded on quality time is simply a bare minimum, rather than an expectation they yearn for.
Of course, having a balance of online communication, personal time, and in-person quality time together is important for the wellbeing of a relationship, but yearning for in-person time together is one of the things Gen Z would love to get from a partner that boomers see as bare minimum.
7. Comfort growing together
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Especially today, where so many young people are personally pressured by the idea that you have to be 100% healed, healthy, and self-aware — whatever that means — to have a healthy romantic relationship, it’s not surprising that feeling comfortable and supported growing with a partner is one of the things Gen Z would love to get from a partner that boomers see as bare minimum.
While navigating the stress of adulthood, professional careers, and socioeconomic strains, having a partner that’s both comfortable growing in a relationship and personally can help to cultivate a safe space in a romantic connection — rather than another pressure to be “the perfect partner.”
8. Feeling like a priority
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While it’s true that Gen Zers and baby boomers have wildly different perspectives on a romantic “happily-ever-after,” they share a common ground on wanting to feel loved, heard, and valued by their partners, friends, and peers.
It’s human nature to want to feel like a priority in the eyes of the people you care about, but considering Gen Zers are more prone to adopting casual short-term relationships than their boomer counterparts, many are missing out on the commitment and all-consuming feelings of support a traditional relationship autonomically cultivates.
Like many of the other things Gen Z would love to get from a partner that boomers see as bare minimum, feeling like a priority can manifest itself in subtle behaviors, but for Gen Zers spending most of their time ruminating on early stages in relationships, navigating online communication, and trying to convey authenticity amid societal pressures, picking these moments out can be a challenge.
9. Deep conversations
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According to experts from Lebanon Valley College, Gen Zers are largely struggling with prioritizing deep and meaningful conversations in their relationships as they grapple with collective fears of social anxiety and rejection, but that doesn’t mean they’re not yearning for this kind of social connection in their personal lives.
While baby boomers certainly experience individual stressors about dating and cultivating healthy relationships, they’ve largely side-stepped the anxieties Gen Z struggles with as a result of growing up offline. Practice makes perfect — considering baby boomers were able to navigate the dating landscape and learn to build romantic connections outside the scope of the internet, they’re also well-versed in offline communication, in-person quality time, and social interactions that help to bolster this need.
10. Digital detachment
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Alongside in-person quality time and communication, many Gen Zers are yearning to disconnect from social media in many of their relationships, despite grappling with social anxiety and fears of rejection in in-person environments.
Despite the majority of Gen Zers wishing social media didn’t exist at all, according to a survey from The Harris Poll, many spend a great deal of their time online — meeting people, building communities, and doomscrolling on social platforms. It’s a comfortable place for them to live, yet equally unsatisfying and anxiety-inducing when it comes to navigating the dating world and making romantic connections.
For baby boomers who grew up, started dating, and even solidified long-term relationships before social media existed, it’s not entirely surprising that committing to digital detachment and prioritizing in-person quality time is one of the things Gen Z would love to get from a partner that boomers see as bare minimum.
11. Consistently planned dates
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According to couples counselor Kari Rusnak, partners who consistently go on planned date nights often cultivate healthier relationships than those who don’t. Of course, quality time looks different for every couple — it doesn’t always have to be a date night — but having a partner who shows their spouse that they’re a priority by consistently planning time together can be productive for bolstering trust.
While planned date nights are one of the things Gen Z would love to get from a partner that boomers see as a bare minimum, they’re largely a traditional social norm that many young people aren’t necessarily prioritizing. Whether it’s social anxiety barriers from online connections, financial obstacles, or new-age relationship expectations, many Gen Zers romanticize things like getting flowers or going on a date that older generations view as a necessity from the early stages of their romantic partnerships.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.