3 Ways Parents Who Sometimes Let Their Kids Run Wild Set Them Up For Success, According To A Behavior Analyst
Boredom is a powerful parenting tool.
MI PHAM | Unsplash Parents today often feel immense pressure to schedule every moment of their child’s day. Between school, homework, sports, and other extracurricular activities, kids are rarely left to their own devices.
However, this overscheduling leaves no time for unstructured play — something Amanda Eliasoph, a board-certified behavior analyst, stressed is incredibly beneficial for young kids and their future success.
"Parents if you're tired of looking on Pinterest and making 45 activities a week for your child to do to keep them occupied while you clean or cook or try to get work done, allow them to be bored," she insisted in a recent TikTok. "Their little minds are so unbelievably creative, and that unstructured playtime is so good for their development."
Here are 3 ways parents who sometimes let their kids run wild are setting them up for success:
1. They learn to problem-solve.
Problem-solving is a crucial life skill and one that unstructured playtime helps kids build. When faced with boredom — and no parental input — kids have to come up with their own ideas about how to spend their time.
Moreover, without a clear roadmap to follow, children are forced to figure things out on their own, navigating obstacles and coming up with solutions independently. For example, if multiple children are playing a game, they must establish the rules and determine who gets to take the first turn. These small problem-solving moments add up over time and prepare them for the more complex challenges they’ll inevitably face as they grow up.
2. They build resilience
Unstructured also helps kids become more resilient, a trait that serves them well in adulthood. Resilient people are better equipt to adapt to adversity, handle stress, and recover from difficult situations.
"When children engage in [adventurous and unstructured] play, they are exposed to situations that put them on the edge of their comfort zone," behavioral scientist Coltan Scrivner told Psychology Today. "Climbing trees, jumping off swings, and exploring unfamiliar terrain keep children right on the line between what they are comfortable doing and what they are a bit afraid of doing."
"These experiences can sometimes be scary, but they can also be incredibly empowering," he continued. "As children confront their fears and overcome challenges, they build confidence and resilience to stressful situations."
3. They learn better emotional regulation skills.
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Unstructured playtime also aids in emotional development. When kids are left to their own devices, they experience a range of emotions, from frustration and disappointment to excitement and happiness, and learn how to regulate them. If something doesn’t go as planned — say, a toy breaks or a game doesn’t go the way they envisioned — they learn how to cope with disappointment and try again.
So, the next time your child is bored, instead of immediately stepping in, give them the space to figure it out. You’ll be amazed at how their growth and development flourish when they’re given the freedom to run wild. The benefits extend into adulthood, helping them succeed in the real world when you're no longer standing on the sidelines ready to lend a helping hand.
Erika Ryan is a writer working on her bachelor's degree in Journalism. She is based in Florida and covers relationships, psychology, self-help, and human interest topics.