Parents Accuse Daughter Of Turning Her Back On Family For Not 'Donating' Her Hard-Earned Savings To Pay Their Debts
Children should not feel obligated to pay their parents back for doing what was simply their responsibility.
Polina Zimmerman | Canva Pro When you grow up, it’s your chance to truly live life on your own terms and figure out the best way to do so. One 28-year-old daughter found it hard to let go, however. Her parents were guilt-tripping and shaming her and demanded she share the money she’d worked hard to earn to help them get out of debt.
A daughter explained that her parents want to use her savings to pay their debt.
“I … have been financially independent since I was 18,” she revealed in a Reddit post. “I worked through college, took on side gigs and budgeted aggressively to build my savings.” This is in stark contrast to how she was raised. “I didn’t grow up with much,” she admitted. “My parents always struggled with money, and I saw firsthand how stressful financial instability was. That’s why I was so determined to create a safety net for myself.”
The woman was trying to keep her savings quiet, but her parents still heard about it. “Recently, my parents found out that I have a significant amount saved,” she shared. “I didn’t tell them directly; my younger sister let it slip in conversation. The moment they heard, it was like a switch flipped.”
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Now, her parents are all but begging her to help them out financially. “Suddenly, they started making comments about how family should support each other and how they sacrificed so much to raise me,” she continued. “Then they got more direct asking for money to pay off their debts and help with their mortgage.”
The woman wants her family to know she is there for them, but she also doesn’t want to allow them to depend on her for money. Her parents’ financial struggles run deep. According to her, “They’ve taken out loans they couldn’t afford, co-signed for family members who never paid them back and spent money on luxuries while struggling to cover basics. I knew that if I gave them anything, it wouldn’t be a one-time thing. It would open the door to them relying on me permanently.”
This daughter did the only thing she felt like she could do in this uncomfortable situation — refuse to help.
“I told them no,” she stated. “I explained that I worked hard to build my savings and wasn’t in a position to just hand over large amounts of money. They weren’t happy.”
“My mom started crying, saying she never thought her daughter would turn her back on family. My dad got angry, saying if I had enough to save, I had enough to share. They even suggested that if I didn’t want to ‘donate’ the money, I could at least give them a loan, though they had no actual plan to pay it back.”
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Still, she stood her ground. “When I still refused, things got worse,” she said. “They started calling me selfish and ungrateful, reminding me of everything they did for me growing up. My sister has taken their side, saying I have more than enough and should help the people who raised me. Even extended family has chimed in, acting like I’m hoarding wealth while my parents struggle.”
After all of this, she said she feels “stuck” and doesn’t want her relationship with her family to be over. Be that as it may, she also doesn’t want to be treated this way.
Parenting is financially challenging, but that doesn’t mean kids should have to repay their parents.
A survey from Lending Tree found that raising children costs $11,505 per year per kid, and 90% of parents think it would be easier if they had more money.
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While that may be true, as multiple Redditors pointed out in comments, this woman’s parents were just doing their duty as parents. She is in no way obligated to pay them back for what they did or “donate” money to them to make life easier for them now. Sadly, they are using her love to try and guilt and manipulate her into handing over cash that they aren't entitled to, especially given their track record.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.