10 Important Things Dogs Look For When They Pick Their Primary Human
It's not just the human who picks their dog. Dogs have their own reasons for picking their primary human.
Julia Suhareva / Shutterstock As most people know, humans and dogs are the best of friends. Ever since they were first domesticated some 23,000 years ago, dogs have followed us to the ends of the Earth. And while we tend to think of ourselves as the ones who pick the pup of our dreams, the truth is that not only do our dogs pick us too, but there are several important things they look for when they pick their primary human.
While many dogs will tolerate just about anyone, there are some specific ways you can increase your chances of making sure your dog sees you as their most special someone — if you're willing to teach yourself some simple tricks.
Theses are 10 important things dogs look for when they pick their primary human
1. If there are positive associations
Hananeko_Studio | Shutterstock
The first important thing dogs look for when they pick their primary human is if there are positive associations. Dogs want to view their primary human in a positive light, but that might take a bit of effort on the owner's part. From dishing out treats to giving praises, dogs take all of that in and use it to form their own opinion about their human.
However, it isn't surprising that they'd use these subtle behaviors to choose their primary owner. According to a study published in Frontiers in Psychology, dogs have special skills that help them interact with humans. They continued, "Affiliation plays a motivational role in dog behavior and shapes the dogs’ attitudes as well as their interaction with humans."
So, if their view of their human is warped by negative associations as a result of negative behavior, then their dog is increasingly more likely to view their human in an unfavorable light. However, if their primary human truly puts in the work and care of giving their dog a positive experience, then expect unmatched loyalty like no other.
2. If they provide comfort and safety
Halfpoint | Shutterstock
Everybody wants to feel safe and comfortable in their home. Whether it's a baby, an adult, or a dog, the idea of feeling safe within our home is deeply ingrained in our biological needs. For instance, a study published in 2021 noted that feeling safe doesn't just ease paranoia; it also increases general well-being.
That being said, many pet parents don't know how to make their dog feel safe and, as a result, unintentionally do things that could lead to their dog experiencing stress and even aggression.
According to veterinarian tech Nicole Zittritsch, LVT, BSc, MPH, by playing music with white noise, using synthetic pheromones when they're stressed, and grooming them, their primary human can make their environment more comfortable. On top of these things, keeping the house relatively clean, ensuring adequate space, and allowing them to sleep close by are other ways to help dogs feel safe.
3. If they get a lot of attention
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock
Most primary owners forget just how much love and support their dogs need. As a result, when they come home from work, they might completely ignore their lovable dog in favor of taking a nap or scrolling on their phone. And while taking downtime for themselves is important, before they commit to it, they should at least spend a little time giving their dog some cuddles. Otherwise, their dog might assume the worst.
Dogs need love and affection in order to thrive and feel welcomed. On the flip side, refusing to give them attention and downright ignoring them classifies as animal cruelty. According to a study in 2015, abused dogs were increasingly more likely to experience aggression and fear towards unfamiliar people or animals, often resulting in them acting up.
To avoid this, primary humans should ensure they're treating their dogs with love and respect. Give them cuddles and pets, and spend at least thirty minutes a day bonding with them through play. Though this might seem tiring to some, taking the time to show the fur ball the love they deserve will only ensure they view them as their primary human.
4. If they engage in play
Gordonkoff | Shutterstock
How many times have you seen people get dogs only to never play with them or take them out on a walk? Most likely, too many times to count, right? It should go without saying that an important thing dogs look for when picking their primary human is if they play.
Unfortunately, far too many humans neglect their dogs in favor of staying indoors. According to a study in 2024, about 44% of adolescents reported playing with their pets. Though this number isn’t drastically low by any means, this also means that 56% of adolescents don’t engage in any pet play. As a result, dogs might experience greater health issues and distress because they’re not getting the mental stimulation they need to thrive.
Knowing this, how long should primary humans play with their pets? While less active breeds need 30-60 minutes a day of play, active dog breeds need even more, according to Caring Hands Veterinary Hospital & Hospitality Center.
So, if humans aren’t staying on top of their dog's basic needs for play, then deep down inside, their furry friend might not have the highest opinion of them.
5. Their personalities match
Reschetnikov_art | Shutterstock
To bond with most people, there needs to be an essence of familiarity. And just like in any relationship, the dog and their primary human's personality need to be a match, otherwise, the dog might just say goodbye.
Bonding is the number one indicator of compatibility. According to dog trainer Victoria Schade, CPDT-KA, although loving their dog might feel the same as bonding with them, this couldn’t be farther from the truth. She continued that love is what makes a dog leap for joy when their primary human comes home from a late shift. And yet, she explained, “A bonded dog-human relationship is one that’s steeped in equal parts of mutual trust and respect.”
It’s the glue that holds the relationship together and keeps the dog from completely running away. So, if the goal is to bond them, there are a few things to keep in mind.
First, humans should be training and playing with their dogs often, said Schade. Not only does this create closeness, but it also helps stimulate their dog's brain, leading to greater well-being. And second, be sure to praise them often. Go up to your furry baby and pet them while cooing. Though it might sound a little strange, physical and verbal love and support go a long way in creating a strong bond.
6. If they encourage independence
Rohappy | Shutterstock
The next important thing dogs look for when picking their primary human is if they encourage independence. Though dogs like to be curled up in their primary human's lap, they also like a little bit of independence. The freedom to run around or simply make their own (reasonable) decisions is a basic need everyone has.
From toddlers to adults, everyone wants to feel as if they have a sense of autonomy. According to CPDT-KA dog trainer and behavior expert Kimberly Mandel, “Independence training helps to produce an emotional state in a dog, where he is completely relaxed in his environment.”
That being said, how do pet owners create independence in the first place? Besides being consistent, finding ways to accompany their mind (toys or other games) while their primary owner is gone is a start. It’s also equally important to ease them into this, as suddenly being gone for hours on end can make any dog feel anxious and confused.
7. If they are really well socialized with their human
everymmnt | Shutterstock
If someone truly wants to know what their dog thinks about them, then they should first ask themselves how socialized they are with their dog. From being a pup, dogs are socialized around human beings. This means that if a dog grows up in the same family, then it’s increasingly more likely to be bonded to that family, therefore increasing the chance of choosing that primary human as their parent.
On the flip side, if it’s only been a few weeks of being bonded to that dog, then they’re less likely to view someone as their primary human. However, this isn’t shocking when simply observing human behavior. One study in 2021 found that simply being seated next to someone increased friendship from 15% to 22%, showcasing how important proximity is in bonding.
So, if a primary human is concerned about their relationship with their dog, be sure to spend more time with them. Getting familiar with them is the single best way to help their dog view them as their primary human.
8. If they are patient
SeventyFour | Shutterstock
Apparently patience isn’t just great for waiting in line or waiting for food to get to your house. Rather, an important thing dogs look for when they pick their primary human is if they are patient. Most people and animals naturally gravitate towards people who are patient and in control of their temper.
Dogs specifically want to know that if they make a mistake, their primary human isn’t going to blow up in their face and harshly punish them. So, in order to build trust, safety, and respect with the fur ball, it’s important to understand that dogs, though intelligent, aren’t as advanced as humans.
According to the American Psychological Association, a dog's mental ability is closer to a human child aged two to two and a half. This means that the pup that they’re scolding likely doesn’t understand what they did wrong as their mental capacity isn’t the same as an adult human. This is why if someone wants to be considered their primary human, then having patience is a must.
9. If they show leadership
Standret | Shutterstock
Whether it’s in a relationship or at work, having good leadership qualities will get anyone the respect and recognition they deserve. From their organizational skills to their confidence, people can greatly look up to leaders as a pillars of strength. In the same way, an important thing dogs look for when they pick their primary human is if they are a leader.
Dogs need guidance and a firm hand to make them feel safe and secure. According to the Puppy Institute, “Dogs and puppies need this understanding of leadership and who is to play that role in order to be happy and feel a sense of belonging.” However, this isn’t the only reason why dogs need leadership.
They continued that one of the main reasons dogs act up is because there’s a lack of leadership and discipline. They explained that if a dog feels as if there’s an imbalance within a family, that’s when behavioral problems occur. So, if it’s a primary human goal to be viewed as such, then taking charge is the best way to go.
10. If their routine is consistent
LightField Studios | Shutterstock
Finally, the last important thing dogs look for when they pick their primary human is if their routine is consistent. As much as people would like to take life day by day, this might not always work out for their dog. Dogs like to know what’s going on as it gives them a sense of stability.
As professional dog trainer Sassafras Patterdale, CPDT-KA, CTDI said, “A routine can reinforce previously taught skills in adult dogs and help them learn new behaviors.”
That being said, changes like moving or traveling can completely disrupt their routine, making them anxious and a bit freaked out. Still, most people can’t control this as these things are just an aspect of life.
This is why while having a routine when it comes to exercising, eating, or training is great, it’s important to focus more on creating consistency (first eat, then walk) than time.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.