11 Ways Brilliant People Stay In Control No Matter What Happens
Life gets rough for everyone. How you handle the tough moments is what matters.
ShotPrime Studio | Shutterstock It's inevitable that we'll encounter challenges and obstacles in life. During those moments, it can be hard to stay in control and ensure you're moving forward to solve the problem instead of becoming overwhelmed to the point where you let yourself remain stagnant. Most people end up losing control not because of the situation itself, but because they don't have the proper tools to manage their thoughts, emotions, and words, which, therefore, end up betraying them in the end.
Brilliant people have mastered skills that help them stay in control while navigating even the hardest of times.
Here are 11 ways brilliant people stay in control no matter what happens
1. They refuse to lose their temper
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Brilliant individuals know that losing their temper in situations where they need to stay in control means they won't be able to solve the problem. They know that anger shrinks their way of thinking and clouds their judgment. When they stay calm, they can take control of the room.
The American Psychological Association pointed out that there's such a difference between controlling your anger and allowing your unexpressed anger to take hold and create toxic moments with the people around you. There's a time and place to express your anger, but if you want to stay in control, you should learn how to manage it healthily so that it doesn't get in the way.
2. They don't rush to respond
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Brilliant individuals recognize that fast reactions are not the strongest reactions. Calm people are never in a rush to respond because of their thoughtfulness. Instead, they take time to marinate on what they want to say, whether from an argument, conflict, or being presented with a tricky question.
"When people who are struggling with being too reactive recognize the damage it can do and start to deliberately formulate thoughtful responses, rather than impulsive reactions, their interactions begin to reflect a higher degree of emotional competency. As a result, they live with much less regret and lessen the need to repair the damage to their relationships with others," explained Richard B. Joelson, DSW, LCSW, a psychotherapist.
When presented with something that requires some thought, it helps to take a couple of deep breaths for a couple of seconds before responding. Doing so lets you maintain control instead of flying off the handle.
3. They keep a positive mindset
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Brilliant individuals know that your mindset is everything when confronted with a problem that requires you to stay in control. They might often repeat specific phrases to themselves like, "This is temporary," "Every problem has a solution," and "Clarity comes from action, not overthinking." They are aware of overthinking and ruminating on thoughts instead of coming to a reasonable conclusion.
"Overthinking can create an endless cycle of stress and worry, which can ultimately cause you to feel frustrated and less confident. It can also play a role in mental health issues like anxiety and depression, so it is important to find ways to break out of such destructive thought patterns," explained Amy Morin, LCSW, a psychotherapist.
It's helpful to remember that when stress strikes, you can approach it one step at a time instead of treating it as something you have to overcome all at once.
4. They are conscious of their body language
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Calm, confident individuals can control their physical presence because they know that sometimes body language speaks louder than words. That means maintaining steady eye contact, a confident tone, not fidgeting, and taking slow, deep breaths. If they start feeling imbalances, they know to return to themselves.
"Recognizing that your body language can—and will—betray you means that you need to pay careful attention to what your body is doing at any given moment when you’re interacting with others," explained Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D. a professor at the University of Massachusetts Amherst.
It helps to come back to yourself when experiencing a moment that can make you spiral out of control. Calming your breath, straightening your spine, and opening up your chest can do wonders in keeping yourself focused.
5. They refuse to give in to negative thoughts
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It can be hard to train your brain to focus on the positives instead of staying stuck on the negative thoughts. Brilliant individuals know that if they want to be mentally strong, they shouldn't believe every thought that crosses their minds. To combat this, they'll often physically shake their head to get rid of those thoughts or write them down to determine if these are facts or just fears.
Nancy Colier, LCSW, Rev., a psychotherapist, questioned what could be at the root of our mind's "addiction" to negative thoughts and why we decide to cling to our pain compulsively.
"We return to our suffering because fundamentally we’re trying to make the negative experience come out a different way. Our mental replays are attempts to re-script what we don’t want into a new reality," Collier explained. "If we can just understand our pain more clearly, spend more time with it, we’ll be able to figure it out—in other words, make it go away."
"If we can know the cause, who’s to blame, and what needs to be done about it, we’ll be okay."
6. They disconnect from their screens
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According to a study published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, limiting social media engagement to just 30 minutes a day leads to better mental health and positively impacts overall well-being. Brilliant individuals are aware of this and will often not just limit their screen time but completely disconnect from their screens so they can reconnect with themselves.
It can be helpful to detox from your phone, whether for 30 minutes a day or 10 minutes a day. Any amount of time helps. By pausing your scrolling, you learn to become in tune with your calm energy.
7. They depend on their support system
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Some people are conditioned to try and figure things out independently and not lean on the people around them who would be more than willing to provide support. Calm and brilliant individuals know they can't face certain mountains without a support system in their corner.
Even the strongest people need a bit of help occasionally, and there's nothing wrong with calling on people who would drop everything to come and figure out problems with you. You should at least have an inner circle of three people who can come to your rescue when you call or text. Having that support system makes a difference.
8. They practice gratitude
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Brilliant individuals who can stay calm in moments of conflict repeatedly practice gratitude. Even in the challenging moments, they can find little things to appreciate and feel grateful for.
It can be easy when experiencing stressful moments to pick out the things that aren't good right now and marinate in them. Instead, focus on the positive things and the moments where you can practice gratitude, whether it's being grateful that you're alive or just going outside and finding those small moments to be thankful for.
9. They know how to manage their time
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Brilliant people understand that certain tasks take time, and they're not afraid to set aside enough time to tackle them. They're good at making sure they have enough time in the day to do the things they need to do, and this helps them stay calm and in control because they aren't rushing through tasks.
They're not likely to be procrastinators because they know that putting tasks on the backburner will only make them feel stressed and overwhelmed instead of in control. They value their time and aren't afraid to turn things down to protect their schedule.
10. They actively avoid perfectionism
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There's no such thing as being perfect at everything you do, and brilliant individuals are more than aware of that. They recognize that perfectionism is unattainable, and they'll only burn out trying to achieve it. This means they won't be able to stay in control because they're vying for something entirely out of reach.
Instead of trying to attain perfection, they prioritize progress as long as they focus on getting tasks done and improving along the way.
11. They embrace challenges
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One of the only ways to stay in control is to embrace challenges that come your way, which brilliant individuals know and welcome. They don't view challenges as a threat but as a stepping stone to improvement. They also refuse to shy away from the concept of failure.
Only through failure can you gain insights and refine your approach to future challenges. Brilliant individuals embrace challenges to prepare for anything that life throws their way and remain calm when presented with conflict.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.