Man Decides To Ask For A Divorce After His Wife 'Retches' At His Cooking — 'I Realized I Don't Really Like Her Anymore'
Sometimes it's the pettiest things that are the most revealing.
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock Conflict can sometimes be very revealing in relationships. Not only are arguments often not even about what they're supposedly about, but many times one seemingly small upset opens a Pandora's box of issues that suddenly make the relationship seem like it's on the rocks — or maybe even already over.
Such was the case for a man on Reddit whose petty argument with his wife revealed a whole hidden dynamic to their relationship he's no longer willing to endure.
The man decided he wants a divorce after his wife 'retched' at his cooking.
At first glance this seems almost downright childish, but it ended up being very revealing. It all began a month or so ago when the man, an avid cook, set a plate of homemade Salisbury steak and mashed potatoes in front of his wife and she pretended to gag on it after the tiniest bite.
StoryTime Studio | Shutterstock
"She made an exaggerated retching sound, dramatically threw her fork on the plate, and went to heat up a microwave burrito," the man wrote in his original post. "I just snapped," and the next day when he made dinner, he gave her nothing. "I informed her that I was done cooking for her."
Naturally, this turned into a fight, but he stood his ground. "She says that instead of giving up, I should try a bit harder," he wrote. "I think she should just subsist on whatever microwaveable slop she likes and stop complaining."
If you're reading this petty fight and thinking sheesh, this is a couple with much, much bigger problems than differing views on cooking, you would be right. And the man in question has now come to that conclusion himself.
After the cooking incident, he began noticing that his wife is constantly critical of him.
"The last month has been really eye-opening for me," he wrote in a follow-up post. "I've come to realize that she's really critical of just about everything that I do." That even includes the way he walks.
The man is pigeon-toed, which is usually an issue with one or more of the bones in the legs or feet — that is, not something most people can do anything about. Nevertheless, it seems to drive this guy's wife crazy. She exasperatedly said to him one day, "Why don't you just try walking with your feet straight?"
Which is, of course, not how it works. "Yes. Thank you. My literal bone issue was just magically cured by your advice," the man sarcastically wrote.
Soon he had a whole list of things he realized his wife seems to hate about him — the decor in his office, the way he does laundry, the way he interacts with his colleagues. When he tried to have a conversation with her, she denied all of it and demanded he give her dates and times of when exactly she did all of these things — which is a common manipulation tactic.
Speaking candidly, these are two people who dislike each other and they need to get a divorce. Period.
No judgments, and I'm certainly no relationship expert, but I am continually amazed by relationships like this. We've all known this couple — the one where it is plain as day that they have grown to basically hate each other's guts, but are so terrified of being alone they're willing to be miserable together if it means not having to navigate life apart.
This man and his wife have kids, so it's surely incredibly complicated. But the obvious fact remains: This relationship is, and has already been for some time, over. All that remains is to make it official. And they are both ruining themselves by digging in their heels.
They're also likely hurting their kids. Studies have repeatedly shown that when it comes to high-conflict marriages — which this one is, even if they're not necessarily yelling and screaming at each other — divorce tends to ameliorate kids' suffering in the long run, especially when it comes to depression and anxiety, not make it worse.
"I've come to realize that I don't really like my wife anymore," the man said. "It makes me sad, but in the next few days, I'm going to ask her for a divorce." For legal as well as emotional reasons, though, there should be no asking. There should simply be an immediate call to a lawyer (especially given the legalities of custody) and getting the ball rolling. This marriage is already over, and nobody is doing anyone any favors by staying in it.
John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.