11 Boring Phrases Brilliant People Avoid At All Costs
Brilliant people are much too authentic to pretend.
GaudiLab | Shutterstock Constructive conversations are based around give-and-take. One person speaks, the other person listens. They absorb what's being said and listen for the emotion behind the words. They respond in a way that moves the discussion forward, allowing an exchange of ideas that makes both people feel heard and appreciated.
As simple as it sounds, conversations can easily fall flat, especially when people try to follow a predetermined script. There's a common thread that connects the boring phrases brilliant people avoid at costs: a lack of authenticity. Luckily, brilliant people understand that showing up as their full selves is the best way to share what they think.
Here are 11 boring phrases brilliant people avoid at all costs
1. 'That's just my two cents'
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Brilliant people speak to make an impact. They wield words with care, because they know that everything they say holds an innate power to change people's minds and impact their lives. They avoid saying "That's just my two cents" because it's a boring phrase that reveals an undercurrent of self-doubt.
People who say "That's just my two cents" don't fully own their opinions. Their message gets lost in the sea of insecurity they project. Brilliant people elevate what they say by saying it with confidence.
"We spend a lot of time thinking about the outside, maybe especially for women," voice coach Caroline Goyder said in a TED Talk. "Actually, confidence doesn't exist on the outside. It exists within us, in the visceral stuff, in the bits within you that we don't see."
She revealed that regulating their breathing is a powerful tool people can use to locate their confidence. "We breathe with our thoughts," she said. "All speech is our breath. All song is our breath and all in-breath is thought."
"As you breathe in, think of someone you really love," she suggested. "If we were all to speak on that out-breath, it would be full of love." Confidence is self-love in action. It can be found by breathing deeply, centering yourself, and sharing who you are.
2. 'I could be wrong'
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Brilliant people don't couch their opinions in generic platitudes like "I could be wrong." They know there's nothing wrong with being wrong, but they don't let doubt undermine what they're saying. They share their thoughts without hesitation, avoiding boring phrases that reveal a lack of conviction.
Brilliant people avoid saying the phrase "I could be wrong," but they can hear feedback without getting defensive. They accept advice graciously and incorporate other people's ideas in their plans.
They understand that being wrong doesn't detract from their ideas. A key part of their brilliance is knowing that they don't know everything, which allows them to move through the world without seeing themselves as superior to anyone else.
3. 'I hope you're doing well'
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Out of all the boring phrases brilliant people avoid at all costs, "I hope you're doing well" is a series of words they're practically allergic to. They understand that there's value in wishing someone well, especially in more formal modes of communication, but they think this phrase has been overused to the point of losing all meaning.
Brilliant people know how to stand out from the crowd, which is why they replace "I hope you're doing well" with a more personal statement. When they reach out to someone they haven't spoken to in a while, they mention seeing something relevant to that person's interests. Then, they use the phrase "It made me think of you."
Brilliant people use that unique introduction to emphasize how important the other person is to them. The phrase makes people feel special, serving the exact opposite purpose of a boring phrase like this one.
4. 'I'll circle back'
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When brilliant people contribute to team projects at work, they use their highly-developed communication skills to make sure everything goes smoothly. They avoid using the boring phrase "I'll circle back" at all costs, because they think it's too vague to have an impact.
Instead, they give their colleagues specific information, outlining exactly what time they're going to check back in. Brilliant people are masters of making the most of the time they have.
As business consultant Jennifer Wilkov revealed, time management is the key to harnessing your productivity. "When you view time as an asset, assigning tasks you want to spend time on — or 'time blocking' — will lead you to a new way of becoming more productive," she explained.
Wilikov pointed out that effective time management involves "managing your schedule or calendar and the context of your time. That means reclaiming it and owning it as your own, and therefore making the best of it."
Brilliant people reclaim their time by mapping out a definitive schedule for their workflow, which includes managing other people's expectations in the clearest way possible.
5. 'It is what it is'
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Brilliant people avoid saying "It is what it is" because they think the phrase is an overwrought expression of mindfulness. While less-enlightened people interpret the phrase as an excuse to shirk accountability and sidestep putting effort into things, brilliant people actually embrace the philosophical idea behind it.
As clinical somatic psychotherapist Alyssa Nobriga revealed, "It's important to see that acceptance isn't necessarily passive. Acceptance is about our inner state," while being "passive or active is about our behavior."
"Most people think 'If I accept something, then it won't change,' but that couldn't be further from the truth," she shared, describing the concept of "surrendered action" which means "we can take action and make changes to create what we want, without attachment."
People who say the phrase "It is what it is" often get misconstrued as passive, but really, accepting things as they are is the only way to change.
6. 'Failure isn't an option'
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Brilliant people aren't just smart in a practical sense, they're also smart on an emotional level. They know that the phrase "Failure isn't an option" actually sets people up to fail, because it holds them captive to impossible expectations.
The ability to learn from failure is what makes brilliant people more successful than everyone else. As counselor and psychotherapist Cheryl Gerson shared, "perseverance trumps innate talent."
More often than not, success comes down to perspective. People with a fixed mindset think their intelligence can't change. They get so derailed by every little misstep, they never make it to the finish line. People with a growth mindset see failure as a tool for self-improvement, which means they'll eventually reach their goals.
"The difference between a fixed and growth mindset is your tolerance for frustration, mistakes, and surprises," Gerson explained.
Doing things wrong allows people to take a step back and assess their process. Brilliant people see setbacks as an opportunity to change course. Failing might not be comfortable, but it's the right path to take to learn more about yourself, which is what creates change.
7. 'Nice work'
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People who are brilliant are anything but boring. Their idiosyncratic minds often lead them into influential positions in their professional lives.
While most managers give bland feedback to their employees, brilliant people avoid boring phrases like "Nice work" at all costs. Their brilliance shines through in their dedication to providing positive and constructive feedback.
Brilliant people get more specific with their praise than just saying "Nice work." They pick out specific details that highlight their employees' individual gifts and share how much those characteristics have helped the team. They are exceptional leaders because they know that expressing genuine gratitude is the key to inspiring others.
8. 'Let's agree to disagree'
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A boring phrase brilliant people avoid at all costs is "Let's agree to disagree" because it goes against their core principles. Not only is the phrase overused, it's also a way to casually invalidate someone else's beliefs.
According to mental health social worker Tristan Jones, invalidation can serve a functional purpose, as it "allows us to fact check and challenge our emotional responses... however, it can often be overused as a way of ignoring or suppressing conflict in relationships." Emotional invalidation can contribute to "a festering of resentment and a growing belief that how one feels is not important or allowed."
"We often see conflict as a negative. Conflict is natural," Jones explained. "We are not all the same person with the same ideas, wants, and needs. The key is not to avoid all conflict and invalidate negative emotions, but to communicate and work together to move through them."
Instead of saying "Let's agree to disagree," brilliant people acknowledge that it's totally okay to have different perspectives, which shows how tolerant and accepting they are.
9. 'I don't have time for this'
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Setting boundaries with their time but doing so with a firm kindness, instead of being rude. As psychologist Nick Wignall revealed, "So much suffering in life comes down to unhealthy boundaries."
"While most people know that better boundaries are key to healthier relationships, they're also essential for your emotional health and well-being," he explained. He acknowledged how emotionally taxing it can be to reinforce your boundaries, which is why it's so important to remember the specific values that guide you to set them in the first place.
"When you take a moment to remind yourself of the big picture and why it matters to set and enforce your boundaries, you'll be amazed at how much more emotional difficulty you can tolerate," Wignall concluded.
10. 'Can you do me a favor?'
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Posing the question "Can you do me a favor?" can make it seem like people don't see their needs as worthwhile. Brilliant people avoid using this boring phrase and, instead, ask for what they need in a more direct way.
While some people think that asking for help makes them seem weak, brilliant people are keenly aware that it's actually a show of immense inner strength.
Personal development coach Moira Hutchinson revealed that reaching out for support can make your life better in tangible ways, since asking people for help enhances your shared connection. Getting the help you've asked for can boost your self-esteem, as it offers "concrete proof that others want to see you be successful in life."
"Giving and receiving help can enrich your life," Hutchinson concluded. "You'll strengthen your relationships and be a better person for it."
11. 'Let's play it by ear'
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"Let's play it by ear" is a boring phrase people use when they're too indecisive to commit to someone else. It's a request for leeway that often gets misused by people who don't want to make any actual decisions. Saying "Let's play it by ear" allows them to wiggle out of any definitive plans under the guise of being flexible.
Brilliant people avoid this boring phrase at all costs because they place a premium on direct, honest communication. They make an effort to say what they mean and mean what they say. If brilliant people can't show up, they say so, straight out, without making excuses or mincing words.
People who say "Let's play it by ear" don't realize how damaging the phrase can be, especially when they have no intention of following through. Yet brilliant people genuinely want to commit, especially when it comes to the people they care most about.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a staff writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.