Engaged Woman Says She Doesn't Have The Energy To Plan A Wedding & Wants To Get Pregnant Instead
"We are both so tired."
wavebreakmedia | Shutterstock A recently engaged woman took to Reddit to share her struggles with feeling drained from the demands of her career and life in her 30s. While she's thrilled about her engagement and her partner's proposal, she admits she and her fiancé are both so exhausted that even thinking about planning a wedding feels impossible.
However, this is where things take an interesting turn. She wondered if it would be easier to "get pregnant, stop work, and then think about a wedding." While there's no guaranteed path to happily ever after, the bigger issue is whether it's wise to make major life decisions when life is already overwhelming.
An engaged woman questioned if she should just delay her wedding and have kids first.
The woman's Reddit post reflected a growing sentiment that resonated with almost everyone: burnout. While the woman shared that she's grateful for her engagement, the thought of planning a wedding feels impossible. She wrote, “After work, there is just no capacity left,” highlighting a common struggle many face when balancing demanding careers and personal lives.
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The exhaustion is not just mental but physical. She argued that she has barely any energy to even think about planning her dream wedding. In the most relatable statement ever she wrote, "I wish I could just stop time, recover for a few weeks until some lighthearted feelings come back and start organizing and doing the wedding then." She went on to say, "I am thinking of just getting pregnant, stopping work and then being able to think about a wedding."
This brought up an important point: When your mental and physical health are already stretched thin, and it’s difficult to imagine taking on additional life responsibilities, such as something as large as organizing a wedding, is parenthood really a good idea?
If planning a wedding was overwhelming to the engaged woman, having a baby should probably wait.
In her post, the woman suggested a drastic shift in perspective: Instead of stressing over a wedding, why not focus on starting a family? Commenters weren't really on board with her thinking.
While, in her head, it might have sounded appealing to drop work and focus on something more immediate, like having a child, it's more likely what she truly needed was a break from work. As one commenter noted, "Uh parenthood is approximately 10000000000 times more exhausting than planning a wedding. On a good day."
Parenthood requires ongoing energy and care far beyond what planning a wedding requires. So, if the thought of organizing a wedding feels impossible, just imagine putting all your time and energy into a child for the next 18 years. When sharing advice to help others feeling like wedding planning is a pain rather than a pleasure, one bride shared this golden nugget of wisdom: "Don’t be afraid to delegate tasks! If you try to plan it all yourself, you will quickly get overwhelmed and burnt out, which is no fun. Also, people usually enjoy helping with this kind of stuff! So, in short, let go of control for your own sanity and focus on the important stuff."
The engaged woman didn't really think having kids would be less overwhelming than planning a wedding, but her frustration highlighted the importance of self-care before making big life decisions.
The woman's post, which was actually more like a moment to vent, was a reminder to take a step back before making any major life decision, especially one as significant as having children. It's important to be in a place where you're emotionally, physically, and mentally prepared — not only for the demands of a wedding but for the lifelong responsibilities of parenthood. Doing this will not only benefit you but your future children.
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The fact is, being burned out by work is not something to ignore. It can impact the rest of your life, much like this woman and her fiance are realizing. Instead of making rash decisions, she should consider a long-overdue vacation — one where she starts weighing the pros and cons of her current job.
If you feel too exhausted to plan a wedding, it may be a signal to focus on restoring balance in your life first. Taking the time to recover, regain energy, and ensure that your well-being is healthy is important to make thoughtful decisions that will impact your future.
Parenthood may be worth it, but it is also a long-term commitment. Making sure you are in the right mental and emotional space before taking on such big responsibilities can be critical for your happiness.
Erika Ryan is a writer working on her bachelor's degree in Journalism. She is based in Florida and covers relationships, psychology, self-help, and human interest topics.