11 Small Habits That Make A Person Weak, According To Psychology
You may not even realize it, but these little behaviors wear you down.
Bagus Production | Shutterstock.com Strong-willed, confident, and self-aware people advocate for themselves. Whether it’s their physical health, relationships, or emotional stability, their habits and behaviors reflect their commitment to themselves. On the other hand, there are small habits that make a person weak, according to psychology experts, and do quite the opposite — sabotaging healthy connections and causing people to overlook their own needs to please others.
Whether it’s a negative sense of self-worth or trauma that’s keeping you from truly looking out for yourself and investing energy into your well-being, acknowledging these small habits can encourage you to make a change. While these might be coping mechanisms now, reimagining how you self-soothe ensures you’re not just attracting the right people into your life, but looking out for yourself and building trust in the most important relationship you’ll ever have — the one with yourself.
Here are the 11 small habits that make a person weak, according to psychology
1. Never saying no
Perfect Wave | Shutterstock.com
While being the victim of emotional manipulators doesn’t make you weak, having an insecure mentality and refusing to say “no” can make you susceptible to more toxic relationship dynamics, according to therapist Janet Brito. Sometimes, advocating for yourself doesn’t have to be complicated — you can say “no,” set a clear boundary, and walk away.
Experts from the University of Minnesota agree that setting these boundaries isn’t always comfortable or easy, which makes actually doing so such a feat. Amid heated arguments and emotional discussions, setting boundaries ensures you’re looking out for yourself, feeding into your confidence, and crafting a life you feel comfortable and empowered with.
2. Seeking external validation
Pressmaster | Shutterstock.com
Many of the small habits that make a person look weak according to psychology revolve around insecurity. When you forgo taking care of yourself and advocating for your needs, unhealthy habits like people-pleasing and seeking validation manifest as a result.
Psychologist Mark Travers argues that people seeking validation often exaggerate their accomplishments, adopt a misguided image of themselves, and try to “one-up” the people around them to feel better about themselves. Instead of self-soothing and focusing on connection, they turn conversations into competition where attention — good or bad — is the prize.
3. Avoiding new experiences and challenges
Jose Calsina | Shutterstock.com
According to the Knowledge Team at the Institute for Career Studies, your mindset can truly affect the way you live your life. No matter how much of a backseat you believe you play in your own life story, your mindset makes you the narrator.
When you refuse to live in the present moment, avoid challenges, and steer clear of situations and experiences you’re not familiar with, you not only sabotage your ability to grow personally, but also to meet other people and bond with the people in your life.
4. Focusing on success rather than the journey
insta_photos | Shutterstock.com
Entrepreneurship coach Peter Shallard argues that boasting or speaking about your goals before you’ve set healthy habits or actually realized your aspirations can sabotage your motivation and keep you from real achievement. While many people rely on this to seek external validation and praise, finding joy in the journey, rather than focusing on outcomes, is the key to true fulfillment and success.
Alternatively, when we seek perfection rather than growth along the journey, we lose sight of what’s truly important. The small habits that make a person weak according to psychology, often rely on shortcuts — trying to gain the recognition and feelings of pride that don’t often manifest without experiencing discomfort and challenge first.
5. Only working when they’re motivated
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock.com
As a study published in the Theory Into Practice journal found, you can’t build self-discipline simply by acknowledging and treating the symptoms of bad behaviors like procrastination. Instead, you have to delve into the root causes behind them.
For example, you might be avoiding big projects at work to cope with burnout or only going on dates when you’re feeling confident, causing you to isolate yourself, rather than healthily cope, when you don’t.
When we only work towards our goals or complete our responsibilities when we feel ready or motivated, we sabotage our ability to grow through challenges. Your feelings and emotions, like being anxious before work, don’t have to stop you from persevering and putting yourself in uncomfortable environments that urge you to grow and get out of your comfort zone.
6. Avoiding self-care activities
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock.com
While there are certainly benefits to being selfless and empathetic towards others, the true art of maintaining healthy connections and growing comfortable with yourself lies in prioritizing self-care, according to psychologist Lisa Firestone.
A weak person, who lacks self-awareness and healthy habits that encourage them to reflect, will actively avoid alone time and self-care — finding ways to cope with their discomfort that revolve around external validation and toxic coping mechanisms.
Prioritizing alone time, even if it’s uncomfortable at first, isn’t only helpful for unpacking emotions and reflecting, it can also open up time to invest in your interests. As a study published by Nature Medicine found, carving out time for these hobbies can help you to feel more creative and happy when you re-enter into social situations.
7. Never taking a break
DC Studio | Shutterstock.com
While many emotionally weak people struggling with insecurity and low self-esteem rely on overworking themselves as a coping mechanism for dealing with their discomfort and loneliness, setting clear boundaries and prioritizing breaks throughout your routine is the key to truly coping with difficult emotions.
It’s never going to be easy to carve out this time, especially if you’re not used to advocating for yourself, but at the end of the day, it’s necessary to promote a balanced emotional and physical baseline. To reflect, you have to spend time alone. To heal, you have to acknowledge your hurt. To be social, you have to reap the benefits of rest and alone time.
8. Taking advice from everyone
iona didishvili | Shutterstock.com
Another small habit that makes a person weak is taking advice from anyone and everyone. If you don’t admire or trust someone, you shouldn’t take advice from them.
While weak people with vague boundaries and low self-esteem might look for validation or misguided connection seeking advice from others, truly confident people are picky with who they choose to confide in.
9. Comparing yourself to others
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock.com
While the toxic effects of comparison culture still tend to affect even the most secure and confident people, constantly comparing themselves to others is one of the small habits that make a person weak, according to psychology.
According to experts from Master’s Counseling Calgary, this desire to compare ourselves to others sabotages our emotional wellbeing, sparking feelings of anxiety, insecurity, unworthiness, and inadequacy that are difficult to unlearn.
Rather than giving into comparison culture and holding yourself to unrealistic standards, find ways to express gratitude for the things you do have. Your authenticity, unique appearance, and best traits are important and worthy of being celebrated.
10. Avoiding accountability by blaming others
Goksi | Shutterstock.com
While there’s a societal misconception that making mistakes is a sign of failure or weakness, according to a 2019 study on accountability, the true small habits that make a person weak, according to psychology, revolve around failing to take responsibility for those mistakes.
Don’t make excuses, play the victim, or try to blame someone else for your actions. Having the strength of confidence, self-assuredness, and compassion also means being occasionally uncomfortable — owning up to your mistakes, not from a place of shame, but of empowerment.
11. Gossiping about others
Ekateryna Zubal | Shutterstock.com
While gossiping can be used to bond with others and even as a form of entertainment, it’s also one of the small habits that make a person weak, according to psychology, if it’s used in an unhealthy way to consistently speak poorly about others.
Typically a habit of an insecure person, gossiping can quickly become an unhealthy coping mechanism for internal emotional turmoil — leading people to put others down to feel better about themselves.
While it might seem subtle or unsuspecting in our daily lives, don’t underestimate the power these conversations hold in manifesting negative energy into our lives.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.