Dad Threatens To Disown His Adult Daughters If They Ever Meet Their Mom's New Partner
His daughters argued that their dad's rule is pushing them away.
Anelo | Shutterstock A 25-year-old woman admitted that her father's new rule regarding their mom has gotten a bit out of control after he threatened to cut both her and her younger sister off if they ever disobeyed him.
Posting to Reddit, the daughter claimed that since her parents divorced, her dad has had trouble getting over and moving on from their mom, and now he's chosen to take out his grievances on them. He strictly forbade his daughters from ever meeting their mom's new partner and threatened dire consequences if they disobeyed.
A dad threatened to disown his adult daughters if they ever met their mom's new partner.
"I have been caught in the middle of my parents’ messy divorce for years. My dad claims my mom cheated, but there’s no evidence, and my mom denies it. Honestly, their marriage was extremely incompatible, and it was bound to end sooner or later," she began in her Reddit post.
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She explained that her dad took the divorce quite badly, and both she and her younger sister have tried to be compassionate and understanding with him because of the circumstances.
However, after the divorce, their dad implemented a rather weird rule: The girls were not allowed to meet or interact with any of their mom's potential future partners. He made it clear to them that he would not be happy with anyone else filling the role of a dad when he was right there.
The dad's struggle to move on from the divorce is understandable, but his expectations for his daughters are not.
It's understandable why he would feel threatened and insecure about his ex's partners, especially if he took the divorce as rough as he did. According to research, divorce is actually much harder on men than it is on women. In fact, a 2013 study found that divorce can have a huge impact on both the physical and mental health of men to the degree that the death rate among unmarried and divorced men is a staggering 250% higher than that of married men.
It's never easy to see someone you once loved move on with someone else, but at the same time, it didn't give him a right to dictate how his daughters, who are well into adulthood, interact with their mom's partner.
If he doesn't want to lose his daughters to a man that their mom is dating, then he shouldn't be already trying to push them away by imposing such extreme ultimatums. Because if he keeps it up, then he'll end up losing his daughters for good.
At first, both girls disagreed with their dad's rule but went along with it to keep the peace.
"During a recent conversation, he told me he expects us to follow this rule for the rest of his life. I was dumbfounded. I asked, 'Even when I’m 40, married, and with kids of my own, am I still not allowed to meet someone my mom has been with for years if he makes her happy?'" she asked her dad.
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He confirmed that it was true, and if she met with her mom's partner at any point in the future, she would no longer be his daughter. She was flabbergasted but also discerned that his fear of rejection seemed to be pushing him to act first before the rejection happened to him. Even though her dad is clearly struggling with what he perceives as a threat, at this point in their lives, she pointed out that it just all feels quite absurd.
It's not as if their mom's new partner would be raising her or her sister because they're adults now. She admitted to him that she was not willing to follow his rule for the rest of his life, and if he would choose to cut her off because of that, then so be it. It would ultimately be his decision and not hers. Frankly, the rule just feels both controlling and unfair, but she insists that she doesn't want to lose her dad in the process.
His rule has more to do with him being comfortable with his daughters just cutting their mom off, which is unrealistic. It's clear that he should look into some sort of counseling to really be able to work through all of the negative feelings that he still has for his ex-wife instead of trying to control his daughters. If he doesn't, he just might succeed in driving them away.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.