11 Old-Fashioned Boundaries People Should Bring Back To Stop Getting So Annoyed All The Time
You can feel a whole lot less frustrated by setting some simple rules up for yourself and those you interact with.
MAYA LAB / Shutterstock We've all felt the unfortunate effects of allowing people to ignore your boundaries. Aside from causing what feels like chronic exhaustion, lacking firm boundaries makes it super easy to become deeply frustrated by just about everyone and anyone. Given how tense the world has become, there are some important if old-fashioned boundaries people should bring back to stop getting so annoyed.
As psychologist Antonio Kalentzis explained, "When we haven’t established clear personal boundaries, it’s difficult to communicate them to others. This lack of clarity can lead to feelings of frustration and resentment as we struggle to manage the demands placed on us." So while you may be afraid that asserting boundaries will only lead to more frustration, the opposite is really the truth.
The 11 old-fashioned boundaries people should bring back to stop getting so annoyed all the time
1. Not answering calls or messages right away
insta_photos | Shutterstock
The first old-fashioned boundary people should bring back to stop getting so annoyed all the time is not answering calls or messages right away. In the age of technology and instant access, it's easy for people to feel as if they have to answer their messages or missed calls right away. However, constantly checking our phones often leaves us worse for the wear.
Constantly feeling expected to answer our phones and respond to every single ding and notification can easily lead to overwhelm.
And as Therapy Central stated, "feeling overwhelmed can also cause an increase in irritation and anger."
2. Not oversharing on social media
Perfect Wave | Shuttetstock
Social media platforms like TikTok or Instagram have made it fun to overshare on social media. With these platforms being so interactive and the like button being used as easy access to a dopamine hit, is it any wonder why people give strangers so much information?
That said, an old-fashioned boundary people should bring back to stop getting so annoyed all the time is oversharing on social media. Letting so many people in on so many details is problematic for many reasons. Besides causing drama, according to author and podcast Polly Campbell, oversharing can lead to making things extremely awkward and uncomfortable for everyone, causing all people involved to easily become annoyed.
To avoid oversharing, take an hour to think things over before posting or uploading that story. Through self-reflection and weighing the pros and cons, you can make more conscious decisions before hitting send.
3. Knocking before entering
New Africa | Shutterstock
It should go without saying that knocking before entering is common courtesy. However, people would be shocked at how little it's often done these days. Whether it's siblings, parents, relatives, friends, kids, partners or roommates, many people have lost the sense of decency and respect for people's privacy.
Showing little regard for privacy in this way may seem like no big deal, but not only is it annoying, it can have other unintended consequences. Besides increasing anxiety, not having a sense of privacy can stunt personal growth and development. Clinical psychologists Shoba Sreenivasan, Ph.D., and Linda E. Weinberger, Ph.D. explained that privacy helps people self-reflect without being subjected to other people's criticisms.
RELATED: 11 Old-Fashioned Habits People Should Bring Back To Live Happy Lives Again
4. Not asking prying questions
Antonio Guillem | Shutterstock
There are certain things people would much prefer not to talk about. Whether it's relationships, friendships, work, or school, another old-fashioned boundary people should bring back to stop getting so annoyed all the time is not asking prying questions.
At a young age, many people aren't taught how to maintain healthy boundaries with other people. As a result of their own upbringing, people enter adulthood not having a clue about how to navigate social relationships and situations. This isn't great, as a study published in 2021 found that there's a link between social skills and happiness.
Even so, just because people aren't raised with social decorum, that doesn't mean they can't develop it along the way. And one of the best ways to develop it is through respecting other people's boundaries.
For instance, if a topic of conversation might seem tense to discuss, then it's best to wait until the other person brings it up before proceeding forward. Additionally, if there are certain questions people wouldn't want to be asked themselves, then it's best not to ask these same questions to other people. After all, treating others the way you'd want to be treated is the number one rule for developing good social skills.
5. Keeping arguments private
Ekateryna Zubal | Shutterstock
When you're in a relationship or friendship, it's easy to go to other people for advice. Wanting to feel validated or comforted, most will go to a trusted person to garner the social support that they need. However, there's a fine line between whether people should tell or not tell their business.
For instance, getting into a petty argument over dishes doesn't mean people should then blast their partner all over the internet for the world to see. After all, always exposing the messy side of their relationship can have unintended consequences.
According to licensed therapist Marisa T. Cohen PhD, LMFT, in some cases, sharing information about their relationship might actively harm that relationship.
So, unless it's something huge or potentially dangerous, an old-fashioned boundary people should bring back to stop getting so annoyed all the time is keeping arguments private. Most arguments resolve themselves, and as a result, it's unnecessary to include other people. As it stands, including others will only make the situation worse.
6. Not touching people without their permission
imtmphoto | Shutterstock
Another old-fashioned boundary people should bring back to stop getting annoyed all the time is not touching people without their permission. Of course, certain forms of touch are expected. When meeting a new coworker, it's a common courtesy to shake hands. Or, when getting a haircut, it's normal for the stylist to touch your hair.
That said, certain forms of touch can be extremely uncomfortable. From hugging to kissing on the cheek, touching people without their permission can be jarring.
To avoid this, people should be clear about what their boundaries are beforehand. Rubin Khoddam Ph.D. suggested that identifying what their limits are is a great place to start. For some, these limits might be hugging, and for others, these limits might be touching their arm. Regardless, communicating those boundaries and finding alternatives like high-fiving is a great way to begin.
RELATED: 11 Old-Fashioned Lessons Brilliant Parents Still Teach Their Kids
7. Giving people time to process their emotions
fizkes | Shutterstock
When a friend or loved one is upset it's all too easy to go into comfort mode. Wanting to do their best to make them feel better people will reassure without realizing that their words are falling on deaf ears. This is why an old-fashioned boundary people should bring back to stop getting so annoyed all the time is giving people time to process their emotions.
It might sound frustrating, but processing emotions is absolutely necessary. According to a study in 2009, actively refusing to process emotions leads people to experience a decrease in positive emotions while continuing to feel negative emotions.
So, what should people do to give others the time and space to process their emotions? Simply saying, "I'm here for you, but I'm going to give you some alone time to process things," ensures two things: one, that they're not being abandoned, and two, that they're being understood.
Feeling understood is important as it's often linked to reward and feeling socially connected to others, according to a study in 2019. Combined with the fact that people will feel less pressured, expect others to snap less as they finally feel as if they have room to breathe for the first time.
8. Setting firm work-life boundaries
JLco Julia Amaral | Shutterstock
It’s all too easy for people to get caught up in the flow of work. Feeling as if they have to spend more overtime or extra hours to get ahead in their career, the balance between work-life balance has ceased to exist. As a result, most people begin to feel burnout as their boundaries cease to become nonexistent.
One study published in 2020 confirmed that blurred work-life boundaries can have an impact on happiness and emotional exhaustion. Not only that, it can even lead to a decrease in adopting a healthier lifestyle.
Knowing this, an old-fashioned boundary people should bring back to stop getting so annoyed all the time is setting firm work-life boundaries. Now, understandably, setting firm work-life boundaries isn’t always easy.
The pressure to overwork is especially bad when considering just how bad the job market is. Even so, limiting the time spent after work hours to only 30 minutes is a great place to start. Additionally, refusing to check messages after work hours is another method people can use to avoid burning themselves out.
9. Refusing to discuss financial matters without invitation
fizkes | Shutterstock
How many times have people been in a conversation in which someone mentioned finances for what seems like no reason? Though this sentiment might sound strange to some, in some families or other environments, mentioning finances is the norm. That said, an old-fashioned boundary people should bring back to stop getting so annoyed all the time is refusing to discuss financial matters without invitation.
Just because discussing finances is the norm for you, that doesn't mean that it's okay with everyone. Additionally, asking a complete stranger about their financial situation is completely rude and uncomfortable, to say the least.
Despite this fact, navigating these conversations can be tricky. After all, nobody wants to come off as disrespectful or rude, right? Though it might be difficult, saying, "Hey, I don't like to discuss my job or finances outside of my work schedule," can be an excellent choice for most people. Being direct and clearly stating your boundaries is the only way to reinforce them.
10. Respecting people’s alone time
eldar nurkovic | Shutterstock
Everyone needs alone time. Even though human beings are social creatures, too much time socializing without any break for time on your own can easily become exhausting, leaving you ripe for getting frustrated with others without any real reason. Because of this, an old-fashioned boundary people should bring back to stop getting so annoyed all the time is respecting people's need for alone time.
Let's say a friend had an exhausting week at work. Although it might be tempting to beg them to get out of the house and go do something you want to do, respecting that they're most likely exhausted and need alone time is the best bet.
11. Not overstepping into other people’s relationships
Antonio Guillem | Shutterstock
The last old-fashioned boundary people should bring back to stop getting so annoyed is not overstepping into other people's relationships. When a loved one is going through a hard time, it can feel tempting to enter into their lives and tell them what to do.
Wanting the best for their loved one, people will often give unsolicited advice, even encourage others to break up with someone without fully understanding the story or how it'd impact their loved one, for that matter.
So, when a friend or family member comes to you upset about their relationship, what should you do to make sure you don't overstep their boundaries?
Well, you can simply listen. By listening and validating how that person is feeling, you're creating a safe space while simultaneously ensuring that your personal opinions don't interfere with your friend's life.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.