10 ‘Let Them’ Phrases Brilliant People Use To Keep Their Own Sanity
How to stay focused and confident even when the world seems determined to bring you down.
Minerva Studio | Shutterstock We've all been there — at work, school, or just in life — where someone's trying their hardest to test every ounce of your patience. They're on a mission to see how far they can push you before you snap. In these moments, it's easy to lose it and say things that'll have you cringing later.
But brilliant people have a secret weapon — a set of "let them" phrases that help keep their sanity intact. These simple but powerful lines remind them to breathe, stay calm, and, most importantly, not take on other people's emotional baggage. So, if you're tired of letting other people's drama take you down, these phrases are your new best friend.
Here are 10 'let them' phrases brilliant people use to keep their own sanity intact:
1.Let them think what they want — their opinions don’t define you.
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Brilliant people know the power of letting others think what they want without allowing it to affect their self-worth. This mindset helps protect mental peace and foster authentic living.
By not letting others' opinions affect them, they tend to be happier than most individuals. A study in the Journal of Counseling and Psychology found that those who authentically live report greater happiness, positive emotions, and higher self-esteem than those who are less authentic.
Despite this mantra and its reassurances, many people still struggle to care less about the opinions of others.
Fortunately, Associate Professor Raj Raghunathan, Ph.D., suggested that operating from a place of other-centeredness (meaning acting consistently), practicing mindfulness, and recognizing that hurt people hurt people are all effective ways to prevent other people's opinions from defining oneself.
Though it might be difficult, finding ways to let go of the opinions of others is the best way for people to live a full and happy life.
2.Let them struggle — it’s not your job to fix everything.
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Constantly trying to fix others can lead to burnout. Learn to set boundaries and let people handle their struggles without feeling responsible for their problems.
People are taught to help others no matter what. If a family member is struggling or a stranger needs assistance finding an aisle, most people are encouraged to take it upon themselves to fix everything. Unfortunately, this mentality can completely drain individuals as they neglect self-care in favor of catering to others' needs and desires.
This is troubling, as noted by Marquette Today since ignoring mental health commonly leads to problems like anxiety, depression, and burnout. So, what should individuals do instead? The wisest individuals recognize when to step back and understand that it’s not their responsibility to solve everyone’s problems. While this may seem harsh, the reality is that no one can rescue everyone.
After investing money, time, and resources into others, there comes a moment when one must declare enough is enough. Though painful, allowing others to encounter difficulties can sometimes be the only means to preserve one’s sanity and mental well-being.
3.Let them be upset — their emotions aren’t your responsibility.
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Understand that you can't control how others feel or react. Letting them be upset without taking it personally is key to maintaining your emotional health.
It's not uncommon for someone to say, "You made me do it!" when reacting to a situation. At first, this might seem understandable, especially since external actions can stir up strong feelings. However, it's important to remember that we are each responsible for our own actions, regardless of what others may do.
According to clinical psychologist Robert Puff, Ph.D., while people can't control what other people do to them, they can control how they react. He continued, "By putting the control back into our hands, we now have a sense of power over our healing. When we focus our attention on the actions of others, we waste our energy."
That said, someone will always be trying to blame others, even if it’s unjustified.
To maintain their sanity, the most brilliant people let others be upset or unhappy and accept that others' emotions aren’t their responsibility.
4.Let them make their decisions — while you honor your right to make yours.
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Brilliant individuals respect others' decisions and honor their right to make their own choices without being influenced by others' opinions.
People have their own beliefs and opinions. For instance, while some believe that going to college is the smartest choice, others think that prioritizing family is the best approach. In any case, each person makes a decision that benefits them the most; whether that decision aligns with what others think is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.
Unfortunately, there will always be one person who tests others and questions their choices at every step.
This behavior is uncomfortable and ineffective, as it can make others feel unheard and, most importantly, misunderstood. A 2022 study indicates that feeling misunderstood is harmful, increasing stress and reducing life satisfaction and motivation. To maintain their composure, insightful individuals often say, "I’ll allow them to make their own choices while respecting my right to make my own."
5.Let them project their fears — while you protect your peace.
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Don't let others project their insecurities or fears onto you. Keep your peace intact by staying grounded and focusing on your own well-being.
Throughout life, people inevitably encounter those who project their fears and insecurities onto others. At that moment, their words may seem logical or concerning as they say, "Are you sure you want to do this? I’m just looking out for you." Unfortunately, this supposed concern only limits those around them as they struggle with their own issues.
Alfred Adler, a Viennese psychoanalyst, described how insecure individuals tend to overcompensate throughout their daily lives. Consequently, their only path to happiness often involves bringing others down to their own level of insecurity and unhappiness.
Understanding this, brilliant individuals shouldn’t feel guilty about safeguarding their inner peace. Although they may want to compromise or overlook the other person's concerns, it isn’t always straightforward. Whether they like it or not, remaining grounded requires significant strength and focus, which becomes challenging when negative individuals are present.
6.Let them judge you — focus on your own growth.
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People will always judge, but brilliant individuals focus on personal growth and happiness rather than seeking validation from others.
Regrettably, many people judge others regardless of their choices. Whether someone goes to college or gets married, these individuals will always find fault with others' decisions.
This is why letting others judge as they wish is important — their judgment doesn't need to affect your focus on personal growth and happiness.
That's not to say that ignoring others' opinions is easy — even the most competent people can be people-pleasers and find it challenging to establish boundaries, let alone keep them.
However, you must let go of other people’s expectations to maintain your sanity.
Licensed counselor Robin D. Stone, LMHC, explained that letting go of unrealistic expectations is crucial for one's mental health and can also help others build coping skills that can last a lifetime.
Breaking patterns is never easy. But if you genuinely desire to focus on personal growth, then letting go of negative individuals is necessary.
7.Let them be who they are — so you can stay true to yourself.
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Embrace diversity, but don't let others' views or expectations change who you are. Staying true to yourself is essential for maintaining inner peace and confidence.
Diversity in opinions and experiences has consistently led to better outcomes. A study published in Procedia Economics and Finance found that companies embracing diversity saw an increase in productivity compared to those that did not.
Nonetheless, some individuals will always disagree with others' identities and strive to change them. This situation can quickly deteriorate, leading to hurt and frustration due to the other person's actions. Often, in the back of their mind, the individual may find themselves questioning their worthiness.
To prevent this, the brightest minds maintain their sanity by staying true to themselves while allowing others to be themselves. Although it can be daunting, informing someone they will not change no matter what others think is crucial for upholding boundaries and protecting mental well-being.
8.Let them be — their energy doesn’t control you.
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Protect your energy by letting others' negativity roll off your back. Their energy doesn’t have to dictate your mood or actions.
Protecting your energy is one of the most powerful things you can do for your mental well-being. The truth is that other people's negativity can be contagious if you let it. Their bad vibes, stress, or emotional outbursts might feel like they're invading your space, but allowing their energy to influence you means giving up control over your own emotional state.
Getting swept up in someone else's drama or frustration is easy. Whether it's a colleague venting, a friend complaining, or someone just having a bad day, taking on their negativity as your own can be tempting. But while their feelings may be valid, their energy doesn't have to define how you feel. If you let someone’s mood dictate yours, you're essentially handing over the keys to your emotional well-being — and that's never a healthy move when it comes to maintaining your own sanity.
Brilliant people know that they can't afford to let other people's mood swings drag them down, and they've mastered the art of saying, "Enough is enough. I'm not taking on their energy."
By setting this boundary, you're not being cold or unsympathetic. You're simply choosing to prioritize your peace, which is a form of emotional self-care.
9.Let them misunderstand you — you know your worth.
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Misunderstanding and judgment from others are a part of life, but the key to maintaining peace is knowing your own worth, no matter how others perceive you. Brilliant people understand that they don't need to explain or justify themselves to anyone. They don't need anyone's approval because they are secure in who they are.
Feeling understood can be incredibly rewarding. Research from Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience shows that being understood triggers brain areas linked to social connection and reward. But even though we all crave that validation, not everyone will understand us. Some people will misunderstand us, and others might even deliberately judge or undermine us.
They might act like they have no idea what we're about, or they'll try to make us feel small. But the truth remains: their disbelief or judgment doesn’t change anything. You’re still the same person with the same goals and worth. No one else defines who you are or how far you can go.
So keep your head high, focus on your path, and let their misunderstandings roll off you. Brilliant people use the simple but powerful phrase, "Let them misunderstand me. I know my worth and don't need to prove it to anyone."
When you stop caring about what others think or say, you free yourself from the constant battle for approval. Those who continue to question or underestimate you will eventually be left frustrated while you keep climbing, secure in the knowledge that your worth is non-negotiable.
10.Let them underestimate you — you know what you're capable of.
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Brilliant people let others underestimate them because they trust in their abilities. Self-belief and confidence in your own worth can silence the doubters. The final 'let them' phrase that brilliant people use to protect their sanity is, "It's okay to let them underestimate me. I know my value and what I'm capable of."
At some point, people will doubt you. Whether it's friends, family, or even strangers, there will always be someone who doesn't believe in your potential or questions whether you've got what it takes to succeed.
Whether it's a result of insecurity or pettiness, whatever the reason, it doesn't matter. Being put down and underestimated can make even the strongest person feel insecure. It's easy to feel their doubts reflect your worth, but their judgment is irrelevant. You know what you're capable of, and no one else's opinion can take that away.
Will it be easy to keep up this confidence? Absolutely not. Learning to love yourself amid criticism is one of the hardest things to do. But remember: you don't need anyone's approval to succeed. The most important approval is the one you give yourself.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.