Retired Women Question Hollywood’s Obsession With ‘Training’ Women To Marry The Underdog
What if he isn't the right one?
Nicoleta Ionescu | Shutterstock One woman thinks we have a problem with the American entertainment industry training women to choose the underdog when it comes to Hollywood cinema. Countless films have been adapted with the trope of a young, impressionable woman having to choose between a nice, wealthy man and a nice, lower-income driven man, with the latter winning the woman’s affection in the end.
"Titanic," "Sleepless in Seattle," "Sweet Home Alabama," and "The Notebook" all use this plot device. So where exactly does Hollywood’s obsession come from, and what, if any, ulterior motive do they have to push this agenda onto women?
A woman argued that Hollywood has an obsession with making women choose the underdog in romance.
In the "Retirement House Podcast," retirees voiced their opinions on whether or not they liked the movie trope where the woman chooses the underdog over the wealthy man. One woman explained that “even when the good guy is rich and nice and it’s like, wait a minute, why can’t she go with the rich guy?”
Another woman said, “Well, I would have married Noah,” referencing Ryan Gosling’s character from the film "The Notebook." While another woman said she "wouldn't have because he had no desire to move ahead. He wasn’t willing to go out and earn more so that they could have a better life together. I would not have married him.”
A man chimed in, asking, “Tell me something that the rich guy offered?” The first woman explained, “that money could have been spent on her getting better eating and better hospital care and better doctors.” The man jokingly retorted, “You think it would've prevented dementia?”
The Star-crossed lovers' trope is Hollywood's way of ‘training’ women to want the underdog.
Everett Collection | Shutterstock
During film studies, we learned about the Star-crossed lovers trope, which is ingrained in modern-day romantic comedies. This trope refers to a pair of individuals whose romance is doomed to fail due to circumstances beyond their control. Coined from William Shakespeare’s tragedy Romeo and Juliet, many instances of this trope in movies involve external factors such as the couple's parents, economic status, race, or careers getting in the way of their romantic love.
We have romanticized the star-crossed lovers because they make us believe that love will prevail above all other things. We are made to believe that love is something worth fighting for, not simply being calmly handed to you. This is why, in many of these films, the women tend to choose a relationship that embodies a rollercoaster rather than an emotional and financially secure one.
When the underdog gets the girl in the end, it's all about hope. Psychology Today noted, "Studies have shown that the literal act of witnessing an underdog story gives us hope ... And this isn’t a fleeting feeling. We carry this feeling with us several days after it’s over."
Does Hollywood’s depiction of romance ultimately hurt women?
There is no denying that watching a couple fall in love is enjoyable, throw in some drama, heartache, and, of course, a grand gesture that ultimately saves the day, and you've got a Hollywood hit. But does the idea perpetuated in these fictional romances actually do women a disservice in real life?
There's no denying that these films push the idea that happiness, especially for a woman, can only be achieved by finding love and being loved by a man. If the female protagonist does not forgive the male protagonist for his bad behavior because he is a "work in progress" or he has past trauma, she is seen as the villain. He, however, is misunderstood.
In that sense, they absolutely do women a disservice, but you're also looking at romantic films as documentaries, which they are not. Fiction is meant to be just that, and perhaps Hollywood should expand the romance formula to include more diverse characters and more diverse personality types, but if Hallmark movies have taught us anything, people like the meet-cute, fall in love, angst and resolution formula so much, it doesn't even matter if every single movie is basically the same plot.
Sylvia Ojeda is an author with a decade of experience writing novels and screenplays. She covers self-help, relationships, culture, and human interest topics.