11 Admirable Things Brilliant People Do To Make Narcissists Hate Them
These individuals easily see through narcissistic tendencies and shut it right down.
wrangler | Shutterstock Dealing with a narcissist is something many people experience at least once. With a narcissist's fragile ego, temperamental personality, and manipulative ways, it can be hard to put them in their place. But the admirable things brilliant people do to make narcissists hate them throws a metaphorical wrench in the narcissist's plan to control the situation.
It's not a breeze to beat a narcissist at their own game, but making them dislike you shows that you've won. Whether it's minor things like refusing to compromise boundaries or bigger things like directly calling them out, we could all learn a thing or two from people like this.
Here are 11 admirable things brilliant people do to make narcissists hate them
1. Doing what they love regardless of criticism
Dean Drobot | Shutterstock
A narcissist's terrible attitude rightfully triggers most people. Unable to keep their cool, these individuals lose their tempers as they allow a narcissist to get into their heads and control their emotions.
But certain people have what it takes to get back at a narcissist, and one of the admirable things brilliant people do to make narcissists hate them is living their lives without paying attention to what haters think. Mastering the art of keeping their emotions in check, brilliant people shrug off their criticisms and say, "That's your opinion but I'm going to continue to do this regardless."
However, around 49% of Americans, specifically, identify people-pleasers, according to a survey from YouGov. Despite caring about other people's emotions, brilliant people understand that caring too much disrupts their peace.
For people who tend to do too much for others, hypnotherapist and anxiety expert Chloe Brotheridge suggests it's important to understand where that belief stems from. Is it a societal condition or something else entirely? Brotheridge adds that people should remind themselves that they can't always control what others think of them, so instead of trying so hard, redirect that energy and be compassionate.
2. Refusing to downplay their success
insta_photos | Shutterstock
It's easy to allow a narcissist's controlling and jealous nature to feel overwhelming. Not wanting to upset them, some people downplay their success to keep matters from getting worse. But for truly brilliant people, they refuse to do so.
It's a well-known fact that narcissists have big fragile egos. Licensed counselor and professor Suzanne Degges-White Ph.D. explained that narcissists are unable to tolerate any sort of failure or humiliation. As a result, they lash out and humiliate others to try and remedy their own broken ego.
Fortunately, the best thing a brilliant person can do is not let a narcissistic person offend them; rather, they proudly display their accomplishments and celebrate themselves.
3. Not relying on constant reassurance
New Africa | Shutterstock
It's unsurprising that someone with such a fragile ego would need to be reassured constantly. Being unable to handle their intense feelings of self-hatred, narcissists are obsessed with seeking validation from those around them.
Unfortunately, this kind of behavior has negative effects and can lead to loneliness, depressive symptoms, and intrusive thoughts, according to research published in the Journal of Clinical Child & Adolescent Psychology.
Rather than offering validation, people who understand this will instead redirect narcissists to useful resources. For instance, if a narcissistic person is having an argument, brilliant people may say something along the lines of, "That sounds really difficult. I know of a therapist that would be really helpful."
A narcissist may hate someone for doing this, but it's only because that person isn't willing to burn themselves out trying to help, as they aren't equipped with the proper tools.
4. Maintaining their independence
piksekstock | Shutterstock
Out of all the things brilliant people do to make narcissists hate them, remaining independent is truly one of the most admirable. While some people let their guard down and trust a narcissist blindly, these individuals see past the charm.
In fact, one study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that narcissistic people tend to be perceived as more popular at first sight. This is because they're increasingly likely to be attractive, entertaining, and self-assured at first and, as a result, people blindly trust them, losing some of their independence in the process.
But for people who can see through the facade, they continue living their lives just as they were. They protect themselves and their autonomy to avoid being trapped in a difficult predicament in the future.
5. Being unafraid to confront a narcissist
Ekateryna Zubal | Shutterstock
It can feel like a nightmare to get into a confrontation, whether it's with a boss, parent, friend, or partner. Some may give into people-pleasing tendencies to avoid arguing for hours on end. And because of their innate need to get through a situation, they will do whatever it takes, even if it means apologizing for something they didn't do.
But brilliant people are unafraid to call narcissists out, which makes them a target for a narcissist's hatred. Most people don't want to upset someone because deep within themselves they have an intense fear of being alone, which, according to research from Scientific Reports, can lead to depressive symptoms associated with social isolation.
People who call out narcissists aren't afraid to do so. Maybe it's because they already have a solid separate support system or because they don't truly care what a narcissist thinks. Regardless, one thing for certain: if a narcissist crosses them, they come back fighting.
6. Not gossiping
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock
Everywhere we go, we will surely find people gossiping, whether it's our parents members talking about their extended family, our partner discussing their co-workers, or our workplace acquaintances taking digs at the boss. But an admirable thing brilliant people do to make narcissists hate them is not engaging in gossip with them.
Narcissists would like to believe that everyone is flawed, and that deep down everyone is full of disdain for themselves and others. Their brains try to confirm their reality, which is a partial reason why they encourage others to partake in negative behavior like gossiping.
Research from the University of Connecticut explains that our brains are hardwired to protect us; as such, it pushes people to keep the same habits and mindsets, even if those habits or thoughts aren't good for them.
Even so, brilliant people don't allow a narcissist's actions to dictate their own. Instead, whenever a narcissist tries to engage in gossip, they'll simply say, "I don't want to talk about that," making the narcissist hate them even more.
7. Saying 'no'
Antonio Guillem | Shutterstock
When people can't take no for an answer, it shows that they are entitled and a bit delusional, just like narcissists. People with this personality disorder assume that everyone views them in a favorable light, and though that may be true at first, some are able to see right through it. Narcissists are charming, but brilliant people have no problem saying no to their requests and rejecting them.
Whenever a narcissist hears someone tell them no, one of a few reactions might take place, according to licensed counselor Jamie Cannon. They may have that person explain their reasons for rejection, or they lash out completely. If lashing out doesn't work, they tend to gaslight.
But the great thing about a brilliant person is that regardless of how they react, they still stay consistent. They make it clear where they stand and don't allow a narcissist's immature behavior to change their mind.
8. Not giving narcissists the attention they crave
Zamrznuti tonovi | Shutterstock
According to certified life coach Kristy Lee Parkin Ph.D., narcissists crave attention, saying, "The most important person in the life of a narcissist is the narcissist. They can temporarily put others ahead of themselves, but only when they somehow benefit from it." If a narcissist will come out ahead, they aren't above triggering, annoying, or frustrating other people to get under their skin.
But some people, especially those who are highly brilliant, don't give into the attention narcissists want. Adds Parkin, "The best tactic for dealing with someone high in narcissism is usually not to engage with them unless you absolutely have to... Any response, even a friendly response to a question, could allow the narcissist to believe that they are still desired."
Even if it's difficult, it's important to stay grounded and focused on oneself, rather than allowing a narcissist to manipulate them.
9. Channelling belittling remarks into personal growth
Ground Picture | Shutterstock
Another of the admirable things brilliant people do to make narcissists hate them is using negative comments to make themselves better people. Narcissists hate to see people be self-assured and stable. They can't help but pick others apart for their supposed flaws, even if it's their own loved ones.
However, brilliant people don't fall for this. Instead of biting back, they use that energy to work on themselves, focusing on personal growth to become even more well-rounded individuals. To them, there's nothing more satisfying than growing while a narcissist falls apart.
10. Keeping their personal life private
fizkes | Shutterstock
While some people like to share every detail of their lives on their social media or with friends, others want to keep their personal life private. When good news comes along, it's natural to want to share that excitement, but it can leave people vulnerable to a narcissist's tendencies.
In order for a narcissist to control someone, they need to get close to them. They will slowly build up a good relationship by using that person's private life to their advantage. Fortunately, brilliant people keep that information to a minimum, making narcissists slowly despise them.
11. Never compromising their boundaries
insta_photos | Shutterstock
Narcissists like to test people's boundaries. But people who know what narcissists are capable of will never compromise their boundaries. As licensed family and marriage therapist Dan Neuharth Ph.D. says, "Part of boundary-setting is the right to decide what you share with others. The less you share, particularly personal information, the less a narcissist has to use against you."
Boundaries are essential in maintaining healthy relationships, whether that's at work or at home. Brilliant people put their foot down and are unwilling to compromise on those boundaries, reaffirming what they are and aren't comfortable with. And when a narcissist lashes out as a result of not getting their way, these individuals will just walk away and not look back.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.