Mom Asks If She's Wrong For Pulling Her Kids Out Of Field Day After Realizing She’d Have To Pay For The Mandatory T-Shirts
Why is the school so invested in what her kids do that day?
Robert Kneschke | Canva Pro Having school-aged kids is a lot of work and running around on the easiest of days, but when the school also has special events, it ratchets up the workload even further. One mom on Reddit decided to say a firm "no" to her kids' school event and was surprised by the pushback she received.
The mom pulled her kids out of field day because she didn't want to pay for the mandatory t-shirts.
Ask pretty much any mom and they'll say they dread school events like "spirit days," because they always come with extra effort, time, and money. For this mom, her four kids' annual field day follows suit.
For her, the issue was that each grade at the school has a special field day t-shirt each year — and the shirt is mandatory. "If you want to attend field day, you must purchase the shirt," she wrote in her post.
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For her four kids, that meant a $40 t-shirt bill, on top of the tuition she was already paying, all for a shirt that would be worn once to a four-hour event. "The shirt can be used the following year as part of the PE uniform, but my kids already have plenty of PE uniform shirts," she added, so she and her husband came up with a better idea.
She decided to spend the money by taking her kids on an outing instead. But the school was not pleased.
"My husband and I thought it might be nice to spend the $40 on a trip to the trampoline park and skip field day," she said. When she asked her kids what they'd prefer they were all about the trampoline park idea — what kid wouldn't be?
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"My kids have learned that field day is extremely hot and have lost interest in participating," she wrote, which sounds about right if memory serves.
However, "the school does not seem thrilled," the mom admitted, which she doesn't really understand. "[My kids] do not want to participate in field day and I do not want to spend $40 for field day t-shirts," she wrote. "If my kids wanted to take part I would just buy the shirts." Which is pretty reasonable. Regardless, she feels guilty about making an alternate choice.
Other parents took her side and agreed that many schools' expectations have gotten out of line.
There's no doubt that having school-aged kids is an entirely different prospect nowadays, with constant events, gazillions of extracurricular activities, and rigid social engagements like structured playdates. It goes on and on and on, and there's evidence it's actually harming kids.
A 2024 study by the Federal Reserve and the University of Georgia found that all the activities and mounds of homework were creating "overscheduled" kids, leading to a decrease in academic skills and an increase in anxiety and depression.
We can probably assume it has a similar impact on already spread-thin parents, who have to shuttle kids around to all these events and activities in addition to their own jobs, while also paying more and more money to cover all the various fees.
It's pretty hard to fault this mom given that context. "School spirit" and shared experiences among classmates like field day have their value, of course, but not wanting to be bothered, especially when it costs money, is hardly unreasonable.
Child-rearing is hard enough without adding extra things to the plate just because you're "supposed" to. Just go to the trampoline park, and enjoy the day!
John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.