Engineer Astonished After His Cat 'Outsmarted' His 'Genius' Solution To Stop Him From Constantly Knocking Over His Water Glass
"I'm now wondering if I should hand over my degree and rename him Professor Whiskers."
lenagorseth | pixabay | Canva Pro Cats are cute and fluffy, but they're also possessed by an evil so arcane and diabolical it is a fool's errand to try to even understand it, let alone fight it. This is a lesson an engineer on Reddit learned the hard way, and it has him questioning his very existence.
The engineer was astonished that his cat 'outsmarted' his 'genius' solution to stop him from constantly knocking over his water glass.
If you've ever spent much time with a cat, you know that knocking things off shelves or tables is basically their favorite thing, besides crying for more food 15 minutes after eating an entire meal of course.
For this Redditor, it's become a full-on crisis. "I have this cat, Whiskers. Cute, fluffy, slightly evil," he wrote in his post. Exhibit A for his cat's "evil"? "He's obsessed with knocking my water glass off the nightstand," the man went on to say. "Like it's his personal life mission."
So, naturally, he decided it was high time to put that engineer's ingenuity to work and solve this problem in a way only an engineer can. Or so he thought, anyway.
He designed a special cup holder that the cat figured a way around in minutes.
"Enter me, genius human with a degree in engineering," the man wrote. He designed a "special cup holder" that he then 3D-printed so he could use it around his house, and especially in his bedroom at night.
"[It] clamps to the nightstand and securely holds the glass. Problem solved," he wrote. If there's no free-standing glass, the cat obviously can't knock it over, right? Of course, that certainly didn't mean Whiskers wasn't going to try.
"Last night I woke up to the sound of something rattling," he wrote. "I squint into the dark and there's Whiskers. He's sitting next to the cup holder pawing at the water glass like it's a puzzle."
But surely, with the glass firmly secured to the actual nightstand, Whiskers was out of luck, right? The simple laws of physics will not allow for his crimes! LOL not so much.
The cat figured out how to lift the glass out of the holder with his teeth so he could knock it over.
After a few moments of intense concentration the little menace used his teeth to lift the entire glass out of the holder and proceeded to dump it on the floor," the man wrote, before adding the most diabolical part of all: "All while maintaining eye contact."
Roman.Stasiuk | Shutterstock
Listen, this cat belongs in prison but one thing about Whiskers? When he sets his mind to something he is determined to achieve it. Inspiring little guy!
Anyway, being bested by a cat named Whiskers has this engineer questioning his whole life. "I'm now wondering if I should hand over my degree, build him a tiny diploma, and rename him Professor Whiskers." Maybe if you'd shown him that level of respect in the first place you wouldn't be in this situation, sir.
Cats like knocking things off tables because they're curious and love attention.
Even when being little agents of chaos and knocking all your drinks over like Whiskers, there's a method to their madness, according to veterinarians. For one thing, knocking stuff over is part of their hunting instincts — they perform similar poking and swiping moves when attacking prey, so it's a way for them to exercise this drive. Plus, cats have scent glands in their paws, so they mark their territory in the process.
Cats are also intensely curious, of course, so all that stuff on a table or shelf is kind of irresistible to them, which is where some of the more simple reasons come in — sometimes they're just bored or feeling playful. What's more fun than knocking things over?
Of course, we can't forget that cats are also drama queens and sometimes they just reeeeeally want your attention. Since they know you'll react if they knock something over, they often resort to this as a way to get a rise out of you. Bullies!
Vets say adequate play and exercise, as well as redirecting them to toys sometimes does the trick, but if need be you can resort to deterrents they don't like such as aluminum foil or citrus-scented sprays on surfaces. Or you could just do what one Reddit commenter said they did for this problem.
"You, a genius: 3D prints a glass holder with a clamp," they wrote. "Me, apparently a super genius: drinks from a water bottle with a screw-on cap." Yeah, this is probably as fool-proof as you're gonna get — until Whiskers figures out how to twist off a cap like the velociraptors learned doorknobs in "Jurassic Park."
John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.