11 Brilliant Phrases Assertive People Use To Command Respect
Assertive individuals are confident enough to demand what they want: respect.
Dean Drobot | Shutterstock Assertive people are known to be confident, honest, and direct, which can intimidate people who aren't used to that level of determination. They may also be intimidated by the brilliant phrases assertive people use to command respect, but it's those words that make these strong-willed individuals so admirable.
Commanding respect doesn't have to be difficult; in fact, we could all learn a thing or two from how assertive people approach situations to not only get others' attention, but come out more appreciated and held in high esteem. And all it takes is a few phrases that get the point across.
Here are 11 brilliant phrases assertive people use to command respect
1. 'I'll give you my answer after I've had more time to think things through'
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Most people try to rush the resolution of a conversation to keep the peace. Not wanting to upset people or stir the pot, they cave into requests without blinking an eye. But this approach isn't effective, as it's likely to elicit a response of high emotional intensity, leading to worsening conflict resolution.
To command the respect they deserve, brilliant people use this phrase to avoid saying things they don't mean and take the time to think of a better response. According to a study from the International Journal of Organizational Analysis, rational thinking has a significant positive impact on conflict resolution.
So, when people rush their answers and don't take time to think, it leads to ineffective results and increased resentment in relationships, whether it's among co-workers, family, or a romantic partner.
2. 'I understand your perspective, but I don't agree with you'
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Everybody has a different perspective on life. That's what makes us all so unique, after all. Some people may dream of traveling the world while others want to start a family. Because people are different, certain ideologies sometimes crash into one another. Maybe a co-worker thinks their idea is better, while another firmly believes their plan is best.
But just because people disagree doesn't mean one person has to concede or never speak up for themselves. Diversity in opinion is a lot stronger than some think, and as one study from the Journal of the National Medical Association found, diversity leads to better financial outcomes. Furthermore, patients in the study were better off when they received care from a diversified team.
With this in mind, people shouldn't feel too intimidated by admitting that they disagree. Even if it's hard, disagreeing often leads to better outcomes. And an assertive person isn't afraid to admit this, choosing instead to work together to create a better solution.
3. 'Let's figure out a solution together'
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When disagreements increase, it's easy to lose focus and get caught up in the details. One person might feel unheard while others feel frustrated at another person's position. However, regardless of what other people think, finding a solution and working through those difficulties is the best course of action.
Whether people want to admit it or not, conflict in academics, relationships, and work are all bound to happen, which means people have to make a choice: Do they remain stubborn and set in their ways, or do they work together as a team to find a solution?
According to the University of Illinois Chicago, collaborative conflict resolution helps create opportunities to work toward practical solutions that meet everyone's needs. And while commanding respect is no easy feat, finding ways to put aside pride and instead compromise is something assertive people understand.
To be assertive while commanding respect, it's important for people to figure out the next course of action without ostracizing or isolating any one idea or person. Otherwise, this can quickly make a situation worse, creating resentment and hostility.
4. 'I don't feel comfortable with that'
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For people-pleasers, they don't like to say no or disappoint others. But a brilliant phrase assertive people use to command respect is "I don't feel comfortable with that." They have no problem setting boundaries, whether it's at work or in a relationship. Drawing those lines can be the difference between experiencing burnout or feeling in control.
As a study from Informatics in Medicine Unlocked found, people who have poor work-life balance experience burnout at higher rates. So, creating boundaries is an essential way to prevent burnout and let people know where you stand. And while people don't want to offend their co-workers in the workplace or push away loved ones at home, commanding respect starts by asserting those boundaries and letting people know what you won't tolerate.
5. 'I'd love to help, but I need to prioritize my life first'
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A brilliant phrase assertive people use to command respect is "I'd love to help, but I need to prioritize my life first." It's easy for people to bend over backwards to help others, whether it's by sacrificing their time, energy, or resources. But being selfless can have drastic consequences if left unchecked.
According to a study from the Stanford Journal of Science, people who suppress their desires in a romantic relationship are increasingly likely to be less satisfied in a marriage. That same logic can be applied to other areas of life as well, where someone overextending themselves creates less life satisfaction.
While some may think they're being kind and considerate, getting walked all over is something an assertive person will never do. How else would they be able to gain the respect of others around them?
6. 'Here are my expectations'
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When an assertive person says, "Here are my expectations," it may seem intense to others. Many people live in an overly polite society that frowns upon people asserting their boundaries or speaking up about their needs.
But not voicing concerns can lead to feeling misunderstood. As a study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found, feeling misunderstood leads to higher stress, lower life satisfaction, and lower motivation. So, in order for assertive people to rip off the band-aid, so to speak, they're direct about their needs, making no room for miscommunication. Because, as a study from the Journal of Speech, Language, and Hearing Research determined, miscommunication leads to negative emotions.
7. 'That's not acceptable to me'
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While some people don't want to cause a ruckus, putting their foot down is necessary at times. And for assertive people who command respect, they will flat-out say, "That's not acceptable to me."
For people who suppress their emotions, they suffer from physical and mental effects. According to a study in the Journal of Psychology, anger suppression is associated with higher depressive symptoms. In order to get that respect, people need to be assertive with what they won't accept.
Individuals should be ready to use this phrase when someone does or says something they don't like. Because, as research has found, repeating information makes it easier to believe as fact.
8. 'I have the situation under control'
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While it's not easy being a leader, as leaders have plenty of responsibilities that they can't falter on, gaining respect means taking charge. Assertive people put aside their worries or insecurities and use this phrase as a way to deal with tough situations.
Refusing to back down and give up, they work endlessly to take control of a difficult situation and find effective ways to solve it. With a little bit of confidence and reassurance, those around them see first-hand that their methods are effective.
Even if it's hard, assertive people continue to push forward. Because that's the only way to show other people what they're made of.
9. 'Let's take a breather before we continue'
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Tensions run high when conflict or disagreements occur. It doesn't matter if it's at home or at work, people may clamor to make a point without allowing others to get a word in edgewise. Unfortunately, this type of behavior creates more tension. That's why taking a moment to pause, breathe, and come back can calm the situation.
According to the University of Minnesota, managing negative emotions allows people to focus on resolutions and avoid actions that exacerbate conflict. Of course, it's easier said than done, as many people will continue arguing. But it's best for assertive people to remain firm on their stance and walk away if it gets to be too much.
10. 'I don't appreciate your tone'
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"I don't appreciate your tone" is a phrase assertive people use to command respect. While this phrase is something many people heard during childhood, it lets others know the boundaries they shouldn't cross.
And according to psychologist Rick Hanson, PhD, "People are more sensitive to tone than to the explicit content of spoken or written language... And we are particularly reactive to negative tones due to the negativity bias in the brain."
Hanson reminds us of a quote by Maya Angelou, where she said, "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
Saying this phrase to a boss or parent may not go the way they planned, but someone who is assertive can use it in everyday conversations and life. It puts people in their place without any disrespect.
11. 'Let's stay focused on the topic at hand'
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During a conversation, participants may get off topic quickly, but for an assertive person who wants to command respect, they will use this phrase to center the conversation once more. People may sometimes unload all their thoughts and opinions without realizing they have veered off-course to what is important. Staying focused is the best way to keep the conversation productive.
Respectfully telling everyone to regroup is a helpful tactic that earns respect. It may not make them popular, but it shows that their assertiveness is incredibly useful and important.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.