11 Types Of Body Language Etiquette Truly Brilliant People Already Know
Connecting with others isn't just about what you say.
Inside Creative House | Shutterstock Coupled with intentional open verbal cues and communication, body language and other nonverbal tactics can add value to your conversations and enhance your social connections. Similar to how our words convey a message to the people we converse with, our body movements have the power to transfer information to others, predicting how comfortable, heard, and understood they feel, like a study published in the IUP Journal of English Studies explains.
When we intentionally utilize the types of body language etiquette truly brilliant people already know, we can leverage our passing interactions and seemingly subtle conversations to add value, happiness, and fulfillment to our lives. Making other people feel valued in conversation may start with what you say, but your body language has the power to change the way people perceive you, for better or worse.
Here are 11 types of body language etiquette truly brilliant people already know
1. A firm handshake
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According to experts from Belmont University, the firmer a person's handshake is when meeting someone, the more confident, competent, and social they're perceived to be. While extrovertedness and confidence aren't necessarily the foundational elements of healthy open communication, conveying a sense of self-assuredness while speaking can make other people feel more confident as well.
When other people feel confident in your presence, even if that starts with a firm handshake and ends with a healthy balance of communication and active listening, your conversations will be more intentionally fulfilling than those riddled with small talk, insecurity, and a pressure for external validation and praise.
2. Eye contact
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Maintaining eye contact when conversing with other people not only sets our brain up for active empathy, like a study from eNeuro argues, it ensures we convey a sense of competence and confidence to others that can make them feel more comfortable in our presence.
Whether it's active listening strategies like asking thoughtful questions or maintaining eye contact for the majority of a conversation, there's a great deal of power hidden in our nonverbal cues — helping people to feel heard in empowering ways, without saying a word.
Another study published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology suggests that eye contact can do more than socially connect us with others, it also has the power to be therapeutic and internally gratifying for everyone in a conversation. Even in stressful or highly emotional situations, being able to connect with someone on a deeper level by looking them in the eye can help foster more intentional communication and conversation.
3. Turning towards people
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To convey a sense of genuine interest in a conversation, truly brilliant people don't just use their words to make other people feel valued; instead, they mirror their body language to express engagement as well.
When we're actively turned away from someone or distracted when they're speaking, we're not only conveying a sense of disinterest to them, we're actively conveying a message that ensures they feel unvalued and underappreciated.
Give someone your full attention when they're speaking with you, whether they're sharing intense emotional thoughts or a passing opinion.
4. Smiling
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According to Harvard psychology professor Daniel Gilbert, smiling not only tricks our brain into promoting happier, more fulfilling thoughts, it conveys a similar aura of positivity to the people around us, adding value to our social interactions, connections, and conversations.
When we smile and bring positive energy with us in conversations, even if they're highly emotional or stressful, we encourage people to associate that energy with our character and personality. While it might seem subtle, smiling is one of the fundamental types of body language etiquette truly brilliant people already know, as it improves their conversations, but also their perception of the people around them.
5. A controlled calm tone of voice
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Speaking in a lower, slower, calmer tone of voice conveys a sense of confidence and competence to the people you're speaking to, but also ensures that people perceive you to be more deserving of respect in social situations, as a study published in Psychological Science suggests.
Regardless of what you're saying, being more in control of your tone of voice helps to convey self-assuredness, making other people feel more comfortable and secure in your presence, even amid the chaos and stress of daily life.
6. Intentional hand gestures
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Even if you're not aware of them, many people unknowingly use dismissive and invalidating hand gestures in their conversations that sabotage the health of their social interactions and relationships.
For example, if someone is expressing a vulnerable emotion to you and you're flicking your hand away or stopping them with a palm in the air, it might seem unsuspecting. But, generally, it is perceived as an invalidating type of body language etiquette.
Instead, focus on using more comfortable, intentionally positive hand gestures, both while talking and listening to others, like opening your palms, using soft hands when speaking, or even locking them together with a tall posture.
7. Commitment to personal space
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It's possible to listen, speak, and respect boundaries in the same conversation, especially when you're committed to making someone feel respected and valued in your presence.
For example, find ways to ask intentional questions to ensure someone feels heard when they're uncomfortable expressing vulnerability. Or maintain good posture and eye contact that discourages you from subconsciously reaching into another person's personal space while talking.
Even if you're not consciously aware of it, invading someone's personal space can be dismissive and distracting during a conversation, urging someone to feel less respected in your presence in ways that can sabotage connection and healthy communication.
8. Matching facial expressions and language
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According to experts from Rasmussen University, matching your facial expressions to your language can be a powerful tool to help convey interest and engagement in your conversations.
When you're speaking about something emotionally stressful or listening to someone share a disheartening experience, don't let your facial expressions tell a different story. It's not only disillusioning for the person you're interacting with, but internally confusing when you're trying to actively listen and thoughtfully communicate.
Showing interest in another person isn't just about speaking with intent or listening effectively, it's about finding a healthy balance of openness and the types of body language etiquette truly brilliant people already know.
9. Uncrossed arms
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By uncrossing your arms when speaking to someone, you intentionally convey a sense of openness, according to experts from the University of Mary Washington, that helps other people to feel comfortable and valued in your presence.
It might seem like a small switch to your typical, and often comfortable, body language norms, but being aware of the messages our bodies send to others — like when we're turned away, distracted, or closed off to vulnerability — when they're speaking can help to convey a more respectable, confident, and competent persona.
10. Nodding while listening
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Mastering the art of effective and healthy active listening isn't easy; in fact, for many people it's wildly uncomfortable to try to convey genuinity to others, while thinking of thoughtful questions, maintaining eye contact, and crafting a balance of body language that conveys a confident persona.
However, you don't necessarily need to master all of these body language tactics all at once, or even at the same time when speaking. If you can master a few — like smiling and nodding your head — when someone's speaking with you, these types of body language etiquette truly brilliant people already know can transform the health of your connections.
By signaling to other people by nodding your head that you're listening and understanding what they're saying, you're not the only person who's benefiting — the person you're speaking with also feels more heard and valued.
11. Intentional touch
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While it's important to consider the kind of relationship you have with the person you're speaking to before encouraging intentional touch, being able to connect physically with an intimate partner or friend during vulnerable or emotional conversations can help everyone to feel more comfortable and supported.
Whether it's touching someone on the arm while they share a difficult experience or patting someone's back after giving them encouragement, intentional positive touch can spark not only positive social connection, but encourage innovation and creativity in profound ways as well.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.