11 Things Adult Children Don’t Realize They Do That Make Their Parents Roll Their Eyes
Your parents love you, but sometimes you seriously annoy them.
ViDI Studio / Shutterstock Most parents have rolled their eyes at their kids at some point when they were little. Whether because their kids got glue in their hair or left their dishes in the sink, a parent can get easily — and understandably — frustrated with their young children. When those kids grow up, they may not realize that, even as adults, there are things children do that make their parents roll their eyes, despite the fact that they may never say anything.
Research shows that a parent's relationship with their grown children has a significant impact on that parent's well-being, for the good and the bad. So if you want to help your mom and dad out, you may want to pay attention to what it is you do that you have no idea is annoying to them.
These are 11 things adult children don't realize they do that make their parents roll their eyes
1. They act like they know everything
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As their adult children grow older, they’ll slowly begin to acquire knowledge that they never knew before. From learning to pay taxes to grocery shopping, these now-adult children slowly grow competent in their ability to take care of themselves.
However, one thing adult children don’t realize they do that makes their parents roll their eyes is they act like they know everything. Though these adult children are smart enough to care for themselves, there’s arguably more to life than paying bills.
For instance, knowing how to communicate in a healthy way is a life skill that many adults, even parents, lack. As a result, it’s completely annoying, downright frustrating, and even dangerous, for adult children to claim that they know everything.
According to a 75-year study, researchers found that less psychological development leads to weaker cognitive function later in life, possibly increasing the risk of depression in the process.
Knowing this, adult children should be wary of acting like they know everything. After all, not only does it annoy their parents, but it also increases their risk for mental health problems later down the road.
2. They whine about being too busy but spend hours on social media
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Most parents have been there before — listening to their adult children whine about having no time for anything in life. They claim that they’re so busy with work, that they barely have time to sleep properly, let alone eat. But one thing adult children don’t realize they do that makes their parents roll their eyes is they whine about being too busy, but spend hours on their phone.
Now, to give the adult children some grace, finding ways to relax is important. According to a study published in the International Journal of Mental Health Systems, researchers found that relaxation techniques are effective in decreasing both anxiety and distress in young people.
Many people like to get on their phones to wind down and clear their heads. Yet, it isn’t their phone use that leaves parents stumped and frankly annoyed, rather, it’s the overconsumption of technology that has parents rolling their eyes the most.
3. They don’t take their parents advice seriously
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Most parents have given their kids really good advice, only to have their kids ignore them and do the complete opposite. Feeling disregarded can make the strongest parent feel disgruntled.
After all, parents are human beings too and want to feel like their voice and their thoughts matter. Unfortunately, most adult children never think twice about this fact, and as a result, tend to brush their parents’ feelings to the side.
This type of behavior can be hurtful for a number of reasons. One study in 2022, found that feeling misunderstood leads to higher perceived stress, lower life satisfaction, and motivation. With this in mind, it’s unsurprising that one thing adult children don’t realize they do that makes their parents roll their eyes is they don’t take their advice seriously.
As this study suggested, feeling ignored often leads to feeling lower life satisfaction. It’s therefore important that parents communicate their feelings rather than keeping it all in. Otherwise, their adult children will never learn and continue to unintentionally cause those around them a ton of grief.
4. They ignore family traditions
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The next thing adult children don’t realize they do that makes their parents roll their eyes is that they ignore family traditions. Most adult children don’t realize how important family traditions are.
In the moment, they might cringe or roll their eyes at the thought of decorating the Christmas tree. However, family traditions aren’t just silly activities with no meaning. They're much more important than that.
According to the American Psychological Association, family routines and rituals are associated with marital satisfaction, a stronger sense of identity in teens, improved health, and academic success.
With this in mind, adult children should do their best to keep traditions going. Engaging in these family traditions not only benefits adult children, but also encourages them to spend quality time with their parents — an unforgettable opportunity that, unfortunately, won’t be available forever.
5. They only call when they need something
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Whether it’s in a long-term friendship or a brand-new romantic relationship, nobody in this world likes feeling used. After all, most people will put their heart and soul into a relationship and understandably, expect their loved one to do the same.
Unfortunately, adult children may unconsciously engage in behavior that leaves their parents feeling exploited. From using their parents for their wallets to only coming over for a quick meal, there are plenty of ways adult children unconsciously use their parents.
One thing adult children don’t realize they do that makes parents roll their eyes is that they only call when they need something. Most adult children don’t realize how only calling their parents when they need something comes across.
This lack of consideration can quickly cause a world of pain, as parents not only feel used by their children, but rejected as well.
Like it or not, only calling someone when it benefits them the most is a form of rejection, as it shows a lack of care and consideration. Additionally, this sort of dynamic creates an imbalanced relationship in which the other person feels as though they’re not being valued for who they are.
According to researchers, this sort of rejection often leads to physical pain as a study published in Science found that social rejection activates many of the same brain regions involved in physical pain.
Knowing this, adult children should do their best to check up on their parents as it will help their parents feel more loved and, most importantly, connected with them.
6. They avoid learning basic life skills
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One thing adult children don’t realize they do that makes their parents roll their eyes is that they avoid learning basic life skills.
Now, there should always be grace given to adult children who are still figuring out their adult responsibilities. After all, learning how to pay bills and balance their income isn’t always easy. That said, there are certain basic life skills that every adult child should know, regardless of their age.
For instance, knowing how to clean and cook are essential skills that people need to survive and thrive in their daily lives. Unfortunately, a concerning amount of adult children don’t know how to do this as a survey found that 28% of people say they don’t know how to cook. This increases the odds of people ordering out, impacting their finances and health in the process.
So, what should adult children do if they don’t know how to do the basic life skills? Besides looking up resources, they can always ask their family members to teach them. Most parents have zero problems teaching their kids how to do the basics in life, as it’ll likely give them peace of mind.
7. They forget to show gratitude for the small things their parents do
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To be completely fair, many people forget to express their gratitude on a daily basis. When work keeps people busy and school has people stressed, finding ways to see the positive things in life can become increasingly easier. Even so, it doesn’t change the fact that one thing adult children don’t realize they do that makes their parents roll their eyes is they forget to show gratitude for the small things parents do.
Most adult children sometimes forget that parents are human beings who have a desire to feel seen, appreciated, and connected. As a result, when their parent brings food over, clean their place, or even stops by to say hello, adult children take for granted the amount of time and dedication it took to get there.
Because of this, they unintentionally forget to express their gratitude, leaving their parent feeling unappreciated. So, with this in mind, adult children should make it their mission to say, ‘Thank you,’ to their parents more often.
Even though it’s a small act of kindness, Harvard Health Publishing noted that expressing gratitude increases happiness, and can even bring people one step closer in a relationship.
8. They expect parents to always have the answers to everything
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At a young age, children view their parents as all-knowing. Because parents are older and seemingly more intelligent than children, young kids grow up greatly admiring them and seeking out their parents for advice. That said, one thing adult children don’t realize they do that makes their parents roll their eyes is expecting them to have the answers for everything.
Adult children need to understand that even parents don’t know what to do in certain situations. Whether it’s relationship advice, financial advice, or career advice, sometimes, parents simply don’t know what the best course of action is.
As a result, adult children should get used to having to figure certain things out on their own, even if it’s hard. As it stands, going through hardships and making the wrong decisions is another aspect of life that can’t be avoided.
So, instead of adult children looking at it in a bad way, they should embrace their mistakes and find ways to learn from them. Not only will it make them a better person, but it’ll also increase their resilience in the process.
9. They blame their parents for their own mistakes
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Another thing adult children don’t realize they do that makes their parents roll their eyes is they blame their parents for their own mistakes. Now, the way that parents raise their children can absolutely impact them for the worse. Being disciplined harshly or talked down to can cause serious psychological trauma for any person.
Even so, someone else’s actions don’t always excuse an adult child’s behavior. Regardless of whether their parents pushed them or not, the reality is, that nobody can control their reactions, except for themselves.
According to a study in 2022, when individuals manifest accountability as a virtue, they become both responsive and responsible for their actions. As a result, people who take accountability end up flourishing as their mind begins to evolve.
Despite this fact, there will still be adult children who blame their parents for the mistakes they made in life, causing them to stay stagnant in both their growth and situation.
10. They forget their parents need help too
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It’s easy to forget that parents are human beings who struggle too. After all, parents have always shown their children their most resilient side. However, a thing adult children don’t realize they do that makes their parents roll their eyes is they forget their parents need help too.
Needing help doesn’t always mean lending an ear, as many parents wouldn’t feel comfortable discussing their problems with their children. On the other hand, parents still need help with the little things in life. From washing dishes to cooking to helping them clear out their closest, there are plenty of things parents need help with around the house.
Adult children may never think of this, and as a result, do things that make their parents question if they even care. As most people know, receiving zero support from those around them can make people feel isolated and alone. According to a study published in Translational Psychiatry, isolation often leads to a decrease in someone’s physical and mental health, causing irreversible damage.
Adult children should do their best to assist their parents, no matter how small it may seem. Not only will it make parents breathe a sigh of relief and feel supported, but it’ll also make them feel less alone in the process.
11. They forget to ask their parents about their lives
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Finally, the last thing adult children don’t realize they do that makes their parents roll their eyes is they forget to ask parents about their lives. Understandably, people get busy and as a result, they forget to ask the important questions in life. But still, never asking how someone is doing can make the other person feel unimportant and frankly, used.
After all, parents spend so much of their time catering to their child’s needs, yet, adult children never stop to ask how their day is going. So to avoid this, adult children should try to make it a habit to ask this question every time they meet their parents.
Now, will this grow to be annoying for the adult child? Absolutely, however, if adult children want to have a closer relationship with their parents, then they need to be better at caring about their overall well-being, which remember: begins with asking the basic questions in life.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.