12 Things Millennials Learned From Boomers That They Secretly Appreciate
Boomers passed down values that shape how we all navigate life today.
Milan Ilic Photographer | Shutterstock Every generation is influenced by the one that came before them. We establish perspectives and values that draw on what we’ve learned from the past, deciding what we want to release and what we want to hold onto. While younger generations tend to drag boomers for being out of touch, there are several things millennials learned from boomers that they secretly appreciate.
The cultural conversation focuses more on the distance between millennials and the boomers they were raised by than on what they have in common. While millennials have paved their way in the world by doing things differently than their parents, they owe pivotal parts of their identity to what boomers taught them.
Here are 12 things millennials learned from boomers that they secretly appreciate:
1.Embracing a strong work ethic.
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One thing millennials learned from boomers that they secretly appreciate is their dedicated work ethic. Millennials entered the workforce as the Great Recession took hold from 2007 to 2009, the most prolonged recession since World War II. During that era of instability, the unemployment rate doubled from 5 percent to 10 percent in two years.
Even though millennials’ entry point of adulthood was marked by adversity, they didn’t let that dire economic situation define them. They learned to adapt, channeling their energy into side hustles and doing whatever they could to make ends meet. They believe a strong work ethic leads to success, rooted in the boomer “live to work” mentality. Millennials walk a thin line between equating productivity with self-worth and the understanding that pushing their limits leads to extreme burnout.
Millennials will make up 75% of the global workforce by 2025. Ten thousand boomers reach retirement age every day, yet 49% are working past age 70 and have no plans to retire. Boomers aren’t releasing the reins of corporate power, but millennials are just as committed to hustle culture and make it to the top of the ladder before long.
2.The value of a home-cooked meal.
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Another thing millennials learned from boomers that they secretly appreciate is the significance of a home-cooked meal. At the same time, early boomers raised Gen X as latch-key kids who fended for themselves, and younger boomers aimed for family togetherness. In a typical millennial childhood, having dinner together was seen as the best way to stay connected.
There’s a strong argument for the freedom of eating PB&J over the sink, putting grapes and cheese on a plate, and calling it girl dinner. Even so, millennials know that taking the time to make a complete meal and sharing it with loved ones nourishes their bodies and spirits.
Millennials appreciate the lesson they learned from boomers about the importance of family dinners, but sometimes, striving for that ideal does more harm than good. As psychologist Lisa Kaplan pointed out, “It's not a nourishing meal if mom is exhausted after making it.”
“What makes family dinner special and ‘nourishing’ is the time you spend together, not the gourmet level of the meal,” she explained. “How healthy a family is should be defined by the joy that comes from the time they spend together, not just by how well mom can exhaust herself putting perfect meals on the family table.”
Millennials aren’t the best at giving themselves grace, so releasing the idea that they must make organic, farm-to-table meals every night might not be easy. But even if family dinner is just grapes and cheese on a plate, eating it together matters most.
3.The timelessness of Thank-You notes.
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Writing thank-you notes is something millennials learned from boomers that they secretly appreciate. When they were kids, sending thank-you notes was a tedious chore their parents forced them to do. Still, as adults, millennials understand the underlying reasons behind that specific boomer insistence.
Thank-you notes are more than just an expression of good manners. They’re a simple and accessible way to put gratitude into action. There’s a simple joy to be found in writing thank-you notes: The sensation of your hand moving across the page, the way the ink bleeds into paper, and the love and affection that arise.
Receiving a handwritten note means much more than a quick, impersonal “thank so much” text. Sending actual mail could be framed as an outdated activity that no longer matters, but millennials know that the lost art of writing letters is worth taking the time for.
4.The importance of face-to-face communication.
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Millennials learned about the importance of talking face-to-face from boomers, something they secretly appreciate. Millennials were the last generation born into a world without the internet. They straddled the line between being analog and chronically online. Wifi has made some boomer life lessons obsolete, and having the social skills to converse transcends digital existence.
The ubiquitous presence of iPhones provides instantaneous communication, but a text that asks “How R U?” holds less impact than looking a friend in the eyes and asking how they’re feeling.
Talking face-to-face is incredibly important in human connection. Psychology professor Thalia Wheatley noted, “Conversation is this ancient technology for aligning our brains so that we can be on the same page.”
Sharing physical space during a conversation creates an intimate atmosphere where people can move past the surface level and share who they are, ultimately bringing them closer.
“Going a little deeper in conversation, as well as learning to navigate disagreements, can create the kinds of connections that leave people feeling happier,” management professor Michael Kardas explained.
Millennials might mourn a time when they could pour all their feelings into one line of an AIM away message, but they also value the connection of actual, in-person conversations.
5.Honoring family traditions.
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Upholding family traditions is something millennials learned from boomers that they secretly appreciate. They might complain about their parents’ expectations that they come home for every holiday, but deep down, they understand that the expectation comes from a place of love.
The importance of tradition extends beyond that warm, fuzzy feeling that routines provide. Passing traditions down preserves the story of where our families come from. The reason your aunt insists on making a Jello mold every Thanksgiving has nothing to do with the food itself. She knows no one will eat it, but she learned the recipe from her aunt, and seeing the Jello mold jiggle, untouched, in the middle of the table keeps her memories alive.
Traditions are never set in stone. There’s beauty in the way we update them to fit our ever-changing lives. It’s not easy for parents to accept the boundaries their adult kids set. Yet when parents hold space for their kids to say they can’t come home for Christmas, it makes room for new traditions, like FaceTiming first thing in the morning to see what Santa brought their grandkids.
Millennials might not carry on family traditions precisely as they learned them, but they know that keeping each other close is all we have.
6.Prioritizing quality over quantity.
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Another lesson millennials learned from boomers that they secretly appreciate is that quality matters more than quantity. Boomers pride themselves on using the same toaster they’ve had since 1992. Sure, it’s held together with duct tape and burns the bread every time, but boomers see no need to replace household items that still (mostly) work.
Boomers are steadfast in their frugality and fix-it-yourself mentality, and they taught millennials that making things last is more important than buying into material trends. Millennials put their spin on quality over quantity with their eco-conscious approach to consumerism. They prioritize locally sourced, organic items that reduce their carbon footprint. Millennials are willing to pay extra so that their shopping habits align with their values because they know that investing in quality products is worth its weight in gold.
7.Staying civically engaged.
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Another thing millennials learned from boomers that they secretly appreciate is civic engagement. According to an article in Acta Politica, civic engagement can be measured by organizational involvement and volunteerism. The article described boomers as the “Long Civic Generation,” highlighting how the social upheaval of their youth formed their worldview.
Boomers came of age in a tumultuous era defined by the Civil Rights Movement, the Vietnam War, and Watergate. They lost trust in the government but understood the value of protesting and making their voices heard. They instilled the value of staying politically involved in their millennial children. Millennials know that whether or not they believe in the existing systems, they must remain engaged and work for change.
8.The joy of reading physical books.
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Millennials learned to love reading actual books from boomers, which they secretly appreciate. While many boomers fully embraced screen time and became iPad parents in their older age, millennials hold tight to the lesson boomers taught them in childhood: Reading is food for the soul.
An article from Psychology Today illuminated the benefits of reading actual books, noting that comprehension is six to eight times higher when reading physical books than from a screen. Turning pages while reading creates an “index” in our minds, where we map the words to a particular page, allowing us to retain information better.
As one researcher revealed, “Print books and the substrate of paper lend an obvious physicality to individual texts, while e-books are not tangible volumes and are differently touched, held, carried and navigated.”
Holding a book in our hands provides a tangible, embodied experience that millennials deeply cherish.
9.Displaying photos to preserve memories.
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Displaying photos is something millennials learned from boomers that they secretly appreciate. Millennials might think some boomer habits are too outdated to adopt, but they’ve fully embraced keeping physical photos in their homes. They acknowledge that iPhones have made it easier to document their daily lives, and they’re more than happy to share pictures of brunch with the girls on Insta. Still, they also know that seeing those photos from a tiny screen doesn’t compare to flipping through a physical photo album.
Millennials treasure their experiences, and displaying photos in their home is a way to relive every moment. They can return to studying abroad in Barcelona or dancing in a muddy field at Bonnaroo in 2005. Keeping framed photos lets millennials see the people they love and the places that define them. Displaying photos is a way to warmly fill their home and remember exactly where they came from.
10.Practicing polite phone etiquette.
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Something millennials learned from boomers that they secretly appreciate is proper phone etiquette. Millennials remember the olden days of landlines and answering machines. One of the first things they learned to do was recite their phone number. Boomers taught millennials how to answer the phone politely, take down a message, and talk to their friends’ parents when they picked up a call.
While our relationship with phones has changed drastically since millennials were kids, they still value knowing how to converse. Some things never leave us. Millennials will always have their childhood bestie’s home phone number seared in their brains, and the fact that they’ll never call that number again doesn’t matter. The phone etiquette they learned from boomers laid a foundation for clear, direct communication, a lesson that never fades.
11.Finding joy in simple pleasures.
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Millennials learned to stay grounded in pleasures from boomers, a life lesson they secretly appreciate. Their pre-internet childhood experience taught them how to use their imaginations. If a millennial kid was bored, their boomer parents told them that being bored meant they were boring, so they learned how to entertain themselves in any way they could.
As adults, millennials still value the simple parts of life. The little things fulfill them: Sitting in the sun as they drink their morning coffee, a five-minute conversation with an old friend, and birds singing outside their office window. Boomers showed them how to find joy in the mundane, a lesson they’ll never forget.
12.Resilience through tough times.
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Something millennials learned from boomers that they secretly appreciate is how to persevere through tough times and emerge stronger. Boomers taught millennials resilience, an essential part of surviving the harder parts of life. While some of their techniques were harsher than necessary, millennials learned to take what worked for them and leave the rest behind.
Psychologist Nick Wignall shared that being self-critical is a boomer habit that the happiest millennials avoid.
“Most people grow up learning that unless you’re ‘tough’ on yourself, you’ll end up slacking off and failing,” he explained. “Sadly, many people never update this belief. So they go through life believing that if they lighten up, they’ll ‘lose their edge’ or worse.”
“Successful people are successful despite their negative self-talk, not because of it,” Wignall revealed. “But the only way to change your beliefs about this [is] to let yourself believe that it’s okay to be gentle and compassionate with yourself when you make mistakes.”
Millennials are learning to shut down their inner critics with self-compassion, the ultimate form of emotional resilience.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a staff writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.