If You Truly Respect Yourself, These 11 Behaviors Will Feel Like Second Nature
If you love, trust, and believe in yourself, everything else will fall into place.
Dean Drobot | Shutterstock Making space to have a great relationship with yourself starts on the inside, first with finding an aura of self-respect. Can you trust yourself? Do you feel comfortable spending quality time alone? Are there things that you can comfortably acknowledge about yourself that are sparking bad habits or experiences in your life? Do you respect yourself enough to change them?
While self-respect may only be a part of our more comprehensive self-esteem, like a study from the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin suggests, our ability to take pride in ourselves, our accomplishments, and sense of self-worth is incredibly influential on most aspects of our lives from relationships, to our professional careers, and alone time. When you truly respect yourself, certain behaviors will feel like second nature, crafting a routine, habits, and relationships that positively feed back into your larger self-esteem.
Here are 11 behaviors that will feel like second nature if you truly respect yourself
1. Setting and re-asserting your boundaries
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People who respect themselves often find ways to convey their self-respect and self-worth to others, even in a passing conversation with a stranger. They don't set their own emotions or needs aside often, especially not consistently in an effort to people-please others at their own expense, but rather to advocate for them in persuasive and empowering ways.
Whether you're setting new boundaries for communication in a relationship or productively solving a conflict at work, if you truly respect yourself, there's a good chance self-advocacy feels like second nature at this point in your life.
To thrive in your relationships, connections, habits, hobbies, and career, you need to believe in (and, at the very least, respect) yourself.
2. Only investing time into people interested in you
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When you respect yourself — valuing your personal time, advocating for your needs, and viewing yourself at a certain standard — you tend to cultivate healthier, more productive relationships in your life. When you have the confidence to set boundaries and prioritize healthy communication, trust, and empathy, the people in your inner circle tend to fall in line with those habits.
Like Dr. Kez Bridges suggests, the people in our inner circles tend to have a massive influence on our general well-being. When we live our lives prioritizing insecurity and anxiety, oftentimes subconsciously, that same distaste and general disrespect for ourselves is sometimes shared by the people in our lives, sparking an isolating cycle rather than an empowering one.
3. Addressing conflicts directly
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Instead of letting conflicts and arguments linger and go unresolved, people who truly respect themselves are willing to approach uncomfortable situations and conversations to find compromise.
Even if it's an "agree to disagree" situation or a more emotionally invested conversation, they find ways to communicate their needs, actively listen to others, and resolve situations that might've otherwise transformed into resentment, frustration, and alienation.
Especially considering most people who respect themselves only spend time with people they trust, admire, and want to maintain healthy relationships with, they feel more encouraged to work towards resolution, rather than compromising a connection over fear, anxiety, or resentment.
4. Saying less and listening more
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While people who truly respect themselves aren't afraid to advocate for space for their own needs, thoughts, and emotions, they're also willing to help other people feel heard in the same conversations.
They understand that what they communicate and help others to feel is inadvertently associated with them, like a study published by the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology explains. If you're willing to make another person feel respected and worthy, they're going to associate that experience and a kind of worthiness with you.
Being able to master the art of active listening, making other people feel heard, and also communicating your own needs and emotions is particularly important for healthy relationships, but can also help to ensure you're comfortable and respected in other professional and platonic spaces as well.
5. Spending less time with emotionally draining people
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Finding ways to tailor your inner circle towards a healthier baseline starts internally with self-respect, confidence, and clear boundaries for what you'll expect from social interactions.
While finding the right friends and partners can be a challenge, people who truly respect themselves are comfortable with the discomfort of cutting out people who are blatantly toxic. Whether they're an emotional vampire who sucks away their energy or a narcissistic manipulator, these individuals have too much self-respect to tolerate behavior that they don't deserve.
6. Prioritizing alone time
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Harvard Medical School professor and psychiatrist Dr. Steven Gans, MD argues that prioritizing alone time and personal interests and hobbies can be incredibly powerful for our social lives, emotional health, identity, and general well-being.
Not only does it give us a chance to recharge our social battery, it gives people with self-respect a chance to regulate their emotions, connect with themselves, and make decisions about their lives that others might let go unresolved.
7. Not gossiping about others
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Experts from a study published in The Academy of Management Review argue that people who engage in gossip-filled discussion and spread rumors tend to erode the trust in their relationships, sparking anxiety in their partnerships and disconnect in their connections.
Especially in professional relationships, this tendency to speak negatively about someone behind their back can be harmful to many aspects of their lives — for growth, emotional well-being, and connection.
8. Being open to new and challenging situations
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Rather than existing in an anxiety-ridden state of insecurity when it comes to new, challenging, and sometimes overwhelming situations — from social interactions, to new opportunities, and moments of personal growth potential — people who truly respect themselves find ways to embrace and celebrate change.
They don't fear the betrayal, judgment, or criticism of others when they're approaching a new task, even if there's a chance they won't do it perfectly, because their self-esteem is rooted in their own parameters for success.
While insecure people who may not respect themselves feel drawn towards pleasing others and seeking external validation for their accomplishments, those who respect themselves find it easier to set, seek, and celebrate their own wins — even if it's moving forward from a perceived mistake as a chance to grow, rather than suggesting it's a "failure."
According to experts from the Fairfax Department of Family Services, this "growth mindset" is largely cultivated by a person's childhood experience. Parents who are most willing to share words of encouragement and appropriate praise also raise more optimistic and self-confident kids.
9. Owning up to their mistakes
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People who truly respect themselves understand the power that taking accountability and ownership plays in healthy relationships. Not only does it help to build the trust that these connections and partnerships are rooted in, it creates powerful communication lines for partners, peers, and friends to discuss their mistakes, boundaries, and emotions.
Experts even suggest that if you truly respect yourself, you may even find that laughing at your mistakes feels like second nature. Laughter isn't just a powerful tool for sparking a positive growth mindset or diffusing conflict, it's also influential for building respect, according to the Mayo Clinic.
10. Asking for help or advice
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While many successful and narcissistically motivated people tend to approach challenges, opportunities, and projects from an individualistic perspective — wanting to be the sole focus of any praise or encouragement they receive — people who have already reassured their own self-confidence are more likely to collaborate and ask for help.
From basic daily routines to larger life decisions, they view asking for help and advice as an empowering act, rather than a derogatory one.
According to a study published in Management Science, people who ask for help and advice often are perceived to be more competent and intelligent than others. So, not only are individuals feeding into their own self-respect and self-esteem when they're collaborating healthily with others, they're ensuring that other people see their worth, boundaries, and demands for respect as well.
11. Being honest
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Prioritizing open communication and trust in their relationships, many people who respect themselves choose to lead with honesty in their lives.
Not only does this kind of trust spark healthier connections, it ensures they have the opportunity to stay present in their conversations and tap into their own emotions — not anxious or concerned with lying or withholding information from their partners and friends.
While studies like one from Communication Monograph argue that the majority of people are generally honest, except for a few narcissistic demographics, people who truly respect themselves make it a point to lead with honesty, similarly to how empathetic people lead with compassion or competent people lead with rationality.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.