11 Signs Your Boss Wants You To Value Your Job More Than You Value Yourself
Great bosses celebrate work-life balance, while poor ones passively condemn it.
iona didishvili | Shutterstock Setting healthy boundaries to promote better work-life balance can be difficult and uncomfortable for many employees, especially those that are working under a toxic boss or within an overbearing company. On an individual level, there are certain signs your boss wants you to value your job more than you value yourself, in ways that sabotage your general well-being even when you're clocked out.
Watch out for these kinds of bosses and their tactics to test the waters at work. They're more likely to take advantage of your grace, kindness, and high-achieving nature when they know you won't advocate for yourself, so make it a priority.
Here are 11 signs your boss wants you to value your job more than you value yourself
1. They contact you outside working hours
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Many employees will occasionally do work or answer emails outside of working hours, but if they're feeling pressured to regularly do so, that's typically one of the signs your boss wants you to value your job more than you value yourself.
Great bosses celebrate their employees' personal time away from work, urging them to make the most of it, recharge, and ignore their work responsibilities until they clock back in.
By respecting their work-life balance and personal boundaries, they ensure they're feeding into the emotional health and collective well-being of their teams that supports productivity, job satisfaction, and intentionality at the office.
2. They make you feel guilty for submitting PTO
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Alongside general societal trends and stigmas like "hustle culture," many employees are burdened with guilt for taking time off on a more personal level. Many toxic bosses will actively work to discourage their teams from taking time off, sometimes utilizing a misguided "family dynamic" at the office and other times completely disregarding their employees' PTO requests.
When employees succumb to this pressure, refusing to take time off and subsequently overworking themselves, they feed into this toxic workplace cycle where their leadership feels empowered to easily take advantage of their grace.
They'll not only continue to overwork you, but use you as a misguided example of success for not taking time off, sparking resentment and disconnect between you and your work peers.
3. They refuse to have conversations about flexible work accommodations
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Experts from Workleap argue that hybrid models or remote workplace options aren't solely the reason productivity is soaring amongst satisfied employees; rather, it's the flexibility that truly allows professional teams to thrive.
Not only do they have time and energy to prioritize their personal lives and workplace boundaries, they're often more comfortable working partly from home without the rigid regulations of an office.
However, many employers refuse to even discuss flexible work options like this, sparking resentment amongst employees who could truly benefit — personally and professionally — from having the option to work in a hybrid or remote setting.
4. They show little interest in your personal life
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While some employers respect this kind of strictly professional relationship between leadership and their employees, focusing solely on productivity and deliverables, it can oftentimes sabotage the comfort, sustainability, and happiness of employees.
We're all human — we need grace from our employers and bosses from time to time while dealing with personal struggles like grief, parenting, or our personal endeavors.
When a boss refuses to get to know us on a semi-personal level or at the very least acknowledge our personal struggles, they adhere to a rigid work environment that's not productive or healthy for anyone in the long-term.
5. They expect you to work long hours without recognition
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Bad bosses often cross their employees' boundaries by expecting them to put in long hours, overtime, and "go the extra mile" for the benefit of the workplace, without actually compensating them or appreciating their willingness to sacrifice personal time for work.
Oftentimes, this lack of recognition and acknowledgement from employers is what contributes to higher rates of burnout, job dissatisfaction, and a poor work-life balance in high achievers at work. They've tried to prove themselves at work, only to set an unrealistic standard for themselves — without being celebrated, compensated, or recognized for doing so.
These same people tend to take on more work, for little to no extra pay, to maintain a sense of job stability that's both unfair and toxic to their personal well-being.
6. They micromanage your projects and work
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According to a workplace poll from Monster, nearly 3 out of 4 employees admit that micromanagement from leadership is a major "red flag" for a toxic workplace, with the majority arguing they'd choose to leave a job because of it.
Not only is it dismissive to a worker's autonomy and competency, it's conducive to a toxic, rigid, and overbearing workplace environment that allows bad bosses to overstep their employees boundaries without repercussions.
Bosses who don't value you can better manipulate employees who also don't care to advocate for themselves or set strict boundaries at work. The better you are at valuing yourself and prioritizing your work-life balance, the less likely you are to be taken advantage of by a bad boss.
7. They overload you with work and unrealistic deadlines
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One of the major signs your boss wants you to value your job more than you value yourself is overloading you with projects, expanding your workload to be unsustainable, and making every deadline urgent for no reason.
According to experts from the Cleveland Clinic, feeling overworked can have many more consequences on a worker's personal life and general well-being than their productivity at work.
From battling insomnia, to feeling disconnected from personal relationships, and struggling with emotional turmoil and burnout, being overworked at your job can truly sabotage your personal well-being.
Especially for bosses that relay a sense of false urgency to their employees, sparking anxiety and unnecessary stress on their teams, they're not only harming general productivity, but reminding their employees that they don't care about their personal ambitions or well-being.
8. They criticize you publicly
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While constructive criticism and feedback are important to healthy working environments, having a boss that publicly calls out their employees only sabotages trust amongst peers and their management.
Not only are employees more likely to harbor anxious mindsets about coming to work that negatively impact their productivity, they're less likely to cultivate healthy relationships with their peers that make work more enjoyable and comfortable every day.
9. They don't discuss growth opportunities with you
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According to research from McKinsey & Company, workers are more ambitious when they have supportive bosses and flexible working atmospheres that celebrate their work-life balance.
Of course, great bosses are incredibly supportive of their employees' upward mobility, often crafting their daily workload and responsibilities to ensure they reap the rewards of their hard work.
Many of the signs your boss wants you to value your job more than you value yourself are founded on this rigidity. They'd prefer to cultivate a stagnant and monotonous routine for their employees than help them to succeed, grow, and move out of their current roles.
10. They replace practical compensation with empty praise
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Of course, it's possible for employees receiving verbal praise by their bosses to still be in a toxic atmosphere.
They may even meet with their boss regularly, discussing their work and being recognized for their hard work, but at the end of the day, they're not receiving any kind of practical celebration like a raise, bonus, or growth opportunity.
They're expected to continue working harder, taking on new projects, and consistently valuing their professional life over their personal one in the name of growth and opportunity, but never truly reap the benefits of their manager's empty promises.
11. They don't find coverage for your time off
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Many great bosses and leaders will celebrate their employees' time off, giving them a chance to recharge, spend time with family, and invest into their personal lives outside of work.
Research from the Harvard Business Review even suggests that employees who regularly take time off actually perform better at work, without the consequences of burnout, unwieldy stress, and disconnection to weigh them down.
On the other hand, bosses who want you to value your job more than yourself tend to cultivate a toxic, anxiety-ridden atmosphere around vacation and requesting PTO.
If they don't outright shame you for taking time off, they'll make it more difficult for you to want to take a break — overloading your inbox with messages and your workload with new priorities while you're away.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.