12 Phrases Brilliant People Use To Get Their Way In Any Situation
It's shocking how far confidence, self-advocacy, and sheer charisma can get us in life.
Miljan Zivkovic | Shutterstock.com Outside of simply asking, there are certain phrases brilliant people use to get their way in any situation that aid them in building better, more trusting relationships, engaging in more productive conversations, and shifting their perception to be someone worthy of achievement and success.
Getting what you want in life, relationships, and even passing conversations is influenced by a variety of factors, from manifestation tactics, to communication skills, and your ability to effectively negotiate with others. If you’re hoping to get your way more often or reach milestones you’ve struggled to achieve, start with communication — you’ll never get what you want if you don’t ask for it or put it out into the world.
Here are 12 phrases brilliant people use to get their way in any situation
1. ‘Let’s consider this from a different perspective’
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Unlike some of the other phrases brilliant people use to get their way in any situation, this specific one relies on collaboration and genuine compassion. To get what you want, you have to let other people in and help them feel valued.
This is especially true in professional settings, as experts from the Harvard Business Review explain, helping your team and peers to feel valued in conversations starts with compassion, recognition, and collaboration. When we open the floor to highlight other people’s opinions and ideas, we encourage a collaborative environment that accepts and celebrates everyone’s conversational inputs.
2. ‘I’m open to other ideas’
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While it might seem shady or manipulative to utilize tactics to get your way in conversation, the truth is that we’re all motivated by that desire in every conversion, whether we’re fully aware of it or not. By making other people feel heard and understood with an open-minded perspective, we not only get what we want, we also help make other people feel comfortable and respected.
Getting what you want or steering a conversation in a certain direction doesn’t need to be at the expense of whoever you’re speaking to. It can be a productive and healthy conversation, as well as helpful for your own motivations and goals.
3. ‘Based on this data, we should do this’
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By utilizing logic and reasoning in collaboration with more empathetic and compassionate perspectives, truly brilliant people can get their way with persuasion. Adding credibility to their argument with tangible evidence, data, or perspectives, they not only assert themselves as a reliable person, but an intelligent and competent one.
4. ‘This is what I’d prefer’
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As Iyanla Vanzant, the author of “Peace from Broken Pieces,” explains, you’ll never receive what you want — whether it’s a relationship, respect, or a specific career move — unless you ask for it. By learning how to advocate for yourself like truly brilliant people do, you can set yourself up for success. Even if you don’t receive whatever you’re looking for in the current moment, talking about and manifesting the things you desire sets your future self up for success and opportunity.
You can have anything you want, if you know how to ask and advocate for it, but not necessarily everything you want, unless you’re willing to be patient, resilient, and open-minded.
5. ‘We’ll never know if we don’t try’
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Sometimes, the key to getting what you want is to flesh out all the options and motivate your peers to take a leap. Occasionally, this might backfire, especially if you’ve pushed for a personal option that’s not necessarily conducive to everyone’s success, but most times, you’ll get your way without controlling or dominating a discussion.
We can’t get everything we want all at once, explains psychologist Timothy A Carey, but there are ways to advocate for ourselves in conversations and add credibility to our personal arguments, including using phrases similar to this one, that can ensure we’re not missing opportunities to receive what’s meant for us.
6. ‘Let’s try finding common ground’
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By framing conversations in a positive and productive way, using phrases brilliant people use to get their way in any situation, successful people can ensure everyone feels valued, heard, and understood in conversations while still getting what they want. Author and hostage negotiator Derek Gaunt argues that “tactical empathy” — being able to understand where someone is coming from, rather than strictly agreeing or disagreeing — is the key to navigating these crucial conversations.
Building trust and rapport with phrases similar to this one ensures that everyone is comfortable and even excited about the decision they’re making, even if they’re also in your best interest.
7. ‘Let’s take some time to reflect’
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Opting for a moment of self-reflection in a conversation isn’t just helpful for emotional regulation, it’s also incredibly important for maintaining the self-awareness needed to make truly productive decisions, according to career experts from Randi Roberts Coaching.
By giving yourself and others the chance to genuinely think about an important decision or their feelings, you’re prioritizing their comfort and confidence in ways that benefit future conversations. This tactic is not only beneficial for the person using this phrase, making them seem more competent and empathetic, it also helps others to feel more secure.
8. ‘Can you elaborate on that point?’
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Even if you don’t agree with another person’s opinions, ideas, and perspectives, giving them the space to flesh them out in conversations can help to build the trust needed to get your way in any situation. Negotiation investigations, like one study from the Journal of Oncology Practice, suggest that the most skilled negotiators and communicators rely on compassion, empathy, and understanding to get their way, rather than rigid conformity and misguided superiority.
Give people the space to speak — they deserve it, just as much as you do.
9. ‘Lets work together to find a solution’
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A study from the Journal of Applied Psychology found that the most effective conflict resolution strategies in professional settings and on teams is collaboration — essentially, making sure that everyone has productive avenues to express their needs in ways that work for them. By integrating this theory into smaller and more intimate conversations, with a phrase like this, we make space for similar avenues to grow in our relationships.
Brilliant people using this phrase may get their way in this conversation, but they want to make their partners, loved ones, and peers feel respected and valued in future conversations, as well. Start with compromise, collaboration, and empathy, and there’s nothing you can’t accomplish in conversation.
10. ‘What are your opinions on this?’
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A study from Harvard Business School reveals that people who ask others for help and advice are perceived to be more competent and intelligent than those who don’t. By asking other people what their opinions are, truly brilliant people can reframe themselves in conversations — seeming not only more empathetic, making space for others to feel heard, but more credible and competent in their arguments.
11. ‘Would you be open to something different?’
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Especially when you’re pitching a new idea or asking for something specifically, using one of the phrases brilliant people use to get their way in any situation can be productive. With this phrase, you open up the floor for feedback and ideas, putting the next action in your partner or peer’s court.
By taking a passive step back and letting another person share their thoughts and feedback, you ensure you’re not being misguidedly perceived as selfish or toxically self-motivated in conversations — equipping people with a sense of trust that’s important to getting your way.
12. ‘This is what I heard you say. Did I get it right?’
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A simple phrase like this is fundamental to active listening strategies, that not only ensure conversations are productive, but help other people to feel heard and understood. When people aren’t fighting to be heard or understood, they’re more likely to graciously adopt other people’s ideas and aid you in your goals.
Brilliant people have mastered the art of active listening, using a mix of verbal and nonverbal communication tools to check for accuracy, help others feel respected, and cultivate healthy foundations for relationships that will continue to serve their best interests.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.