11 Things That Are Easy For Average People, But Very Challenging If You’re Smart
You might think it would be the other way around, but you'd be wrong.
Stage65 Porduction / Shutterstock Every person has their strengths and weaknesses, which means they approach the world in different ways. Being intelligent is seen by most people as a positive attribute, yet having a high IQ carries issues that can make life feel harder than it needs to be. It might sound counter-intuitive, but there are certain things that are easy for average people, but very challenging if you’re smart.
Our experiences inform our mindset, which impacts how we relate to others and determines which parts of life we value most. It’s highly likely that someone who prioritizes professional achievements will focus on their job over anything else, while someone who cares more about emotional connection will put their energy toward their relationships. While there’s no implicit value judgment on either state of being, the ways our minds work influence how we go about our daily lives, which is why some things are very challenging if you’re smart, yet easy for average people.
Here are 11 things that are easy for average people but very challenging if you’re smart
1. Making small talk
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Something that’s easy for average people but very challenging if you’re smart is making small talk and having casual conversations. Highly intelligent people often struggle to keep their tone light when talking. They take a simple introduction like “Hi, how are you?” as an opportunity for philosophical discussion. When someone mentions the weather, they may respond with a deep dive on climate change and its connection to rising sea temperatures. Making small talk is easy for average people, but smart people find it challenging not to get too esoteric.
The good news for people who struggle with small talk is that it’s an acquired skill, and one that gets easier with practice. Coach and entrepreneur Sira Mas shares small ways people can cultivate excellent social skills, noting that the basis of a successful conversation “involves a certain warmth and openness that bridges the gap between strangers and creates an instant sense of familiarity.”
Mas advises people to ask approachable questions that create space for conversation, sharing how important it is to “find a balance between openness and discretion” to create “an environment of mutual trust and respect.”
She noted how valuable it is to reveal some, but not all, personal details to enhance the sense of connection. “Measuring self-disclosure is an art that, when done right, helps build rapport and trust, making others feel comfortable to open up — ultimately deepening the relationship,” Mas concludes.
2. Delegating tasks
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Another thing that’s easy for average people but very challenging if you’re smart is delegating tasks, which is an especially important skill in the workplace. No one can cross every single item off their to-do list without outside support, but asking for help and trusting others with their assignments can be hard for smart people.
Average people understand exactly what they’re capable of getting done in a day, while smart people overestimate their abilities and overextend themselves. Pushing themselves past their limits can lead them to extreme burnout, which is why delegating is such a crucial skill to have.
If you’re smart, it’s likely that you strive for excellence in everything you do, even minor tasks. If you hand off a task to someone else, you worry that they won’t do it “right.” Their perfectionist tendencies make it hard for them to release control and accept the results as satisfactory.
Psychology professor Gordon Flett discussed the maladaptive aspects of perfectionism on the American Psychological Association’s podcast, noting that perfectionism can be seen as multidimensional.
“Most people talk about self-oriented, which is pushing yourself and demanding it from yourself, but you can also demand it from other people, which is a problem, of course, because that tends to lead to conflict and people not wanting to be around you, and that's called other-oriented,” he explained.
Being a perfectionist keeps people stuck in a rigid mindset. Perfectionism sets people up for failure, since perfect is an impossible standard to actually reach. Allowing things to be “good enough” is a much healthier way to work, which is easy for smart people, but very challenging if you’re smart.
3. Following a recipe exactly as it’s written
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Following a recipe exactly as it’s written is easy for average people but very challenging if you’re smart. Average people have no trouble going line by line with a recipe. They follow the directions like a pro, measuring out the right amount of oregano and adding just a pinch of salt.
In contrast, smart people look at a recipe as merely a suggestion, and they use their superior brain power to “improve” the dish by adding their own spin to it. They swap cinnamon for cardamom and switch baking powder for baking soda. After all, they aced chemistry class in high school, how hard could making a meatloaf from scratch really be?
Smart people overcomplicate simple meals, which means their kitchen experiments often come out of the oven as disasters no one wants to eat.
4. Being present in the moment
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Being present in the moment is easy for average people but very challenging if you're smart. Having high intelligence often means having higher levels of existential anxiety, which makes it hard for highly intelligent people to stop their minds from racing and just let themselves be. Their brains operate at an above-average level. They’re always reexamining the past and considering the future, to such an intense extent that they often lose sight of the moment they’re in.
The authors of a study published in the journal “Emotion” define mindfulness as “the state of being acutely attentive to and aware of what is taking place in the current moment, and experiencing clarity and vividness in that moment.”
Mindfulness is associated with higher levels of subjective well-being and life satisfaction, along with a more positive outlook and better physical health. The researchers note that staying present and letting go of unwanted thoughts is a difficult process, especially in a world where we’re bombarded with information that’s accessible in an instant.
For smart people, tuning out the constant hum of complicated thoughts and letting themselves enjoy an experience is very challenging. Having a mindfulness practice can help ease stress and quiet anticipatory thoughts about the future, which none of us can control. Being in a mindful state might not come easily for smart people, but aiming for mindfulness can ground them and give them respite from their overactive minds.
5. Accepting things at face value
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Another thing that’s easy for average people but very challenging if you’re smart is accepting things at face value and not searching for deeper meaning in everything you see and do. Sometimes, life just is, and there’s no explanation or reason for things that happen.
Bad things happen to good people and it doesn’t necessarily mean there’s a lesson to be learned or hidden pattern to uncover.
While there’s incredible emotional value in meaning-making, there’s also value in accepting that some parts of life are inexplicable, which is easy for average people but very challenging if you’re smart.
6. Relaxing
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Relaxing with no ulterior motive is easy for average people but very challenging if you’re smart. We place a strange amount of pride in being overworked and stressed out, but the truth is resting is a human right. Taking moments of pause is essential to staying healthy, but it can be very challenging for smart people to give themselves permission to do nothing at all.
YourTango Expert and leadership coach Cynthia Ackrill shared tiny habits to help people relax, especially when stress has sent them over edge.
“Don't be delusional and overwork yourself when what you need is to relax,” she advised. “Recognize your limits ... Stress management is energy management — physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energy management. People, events, situations, and your thoughts can trigger you, deflate you, or drain your energy.”
She shared accessible techniques to refuel and restore yourself, starting with deep breaths and gentle stretching, which lets you “feel the blood start to bring in fresh oxygen and take away stale tension.”
Ackrill revealed that calling a friend or spending time with loved ones is a major source of replenishment, noting that “Connection is a basic human need, wired into your brain.” She recommended changing your environment and taking a walk, which “helps reset your perspective, balance your brainwaves, and remove you from the sea of stress clues so you can clear your head.”
People often equate their worth with productivity, which is why fully relaxing feels so hard, especially if you’re very smart and your brain is always on. Yet as Ackrill explained, “Perfectionism is self-sabotaging, but an oh-so-common challenge for high achievers.”
“Your imperfections and mistakes are a critical part of your wisdom and humanity. Learn to be the best you, and what that looks like in your life,” she concluded.
7. Making spontaneous plans
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Something that’s easy for average people but very challenging if you’re smart is making spontaneous plans and just going with the flow. Having a high IQ can make people’s brains go into overdrive, which means they analyze every move they make.
They assess their actions according to the potential risks and benefits, which can put them in a freeze state: They’re too overwhelmed to make a decision, one way or the other.
Their tendency to overthink makes it very challenging for them to just get up and go. If a friend invites them to a last-minute concert, they usually ruminate on possible outcomes, rather than just going and having a good time.
They have a need for order and routine. This mindset makes spontaneity challenging for them, while taking unscripted chances is much easier for average people.
8. Focusing on one task at a time
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Another thing that’s easy for average people but very challenging if you’re smart is focusing on only one task at a time. Very smart people’s brains operate on all cylinders. Their mental engines are revved up and ready to go, full speed ahead, at all times. Yet this can be a disadvantage, especially when it comes to productively managing their time.
Professional organizer Diane Quintana describes time management as “the ability to use one's time productively. The concept explains how one coordinates tasks and activities within their day to maximize their efforts.”
“Take advantage of your personal strengths and better organize your day so that you do your hardest, most challenging work when you know you are at your best,” she recommends.
Quintana advises against multitasking, noting, “It may seem tempting to get as many things done at the same time, but this can actually cause you to digress in productivity. It leaves you with several unfinished tasks that day, rather than completing just a handful of them.”
“Finish one thing at a time and see it through to completion. You will feel more productive and won't get sidetracked by other tasks,” she concludes.
9. Allowing imperfections
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It’s easy for average people to allow for imperfections, but it’s very challenging to do if you’re smart. There’s a correlation between being highly intelligent and being a perfectionist, yet striving for impossible standards is a self-destructive way to live.
Psychologist Judith Tutin points out that perfectionism doesn’t make people happy, rather, it sets the stage for them to fail. She advises people to reframe their narrative. Instead of forcing something to be perfect, let whatever you’re working on be good enough.
It’s OK to celebrate successes, but you are more than your wins,” she concludes. “Failure makes us human, and talking about failure allows us to get the support we need and increases our empathy toward others.”
10. Having fun just for the sake of it
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Something that’s easy for average people but very challenging if you’re smart is having fun just for fun’s sake. Smart people tend to be driven, which often means they hyperfocus on whatever they’re doing without building in any breaks. Their rigid routine is the opposite of work-life balance. More importantly, it doesn’t give them any chance to have fun, which is essential for everyone’s well-being.
Catherine Price, the author of “The Power Of Fun: How To Feel Alive Again,” discussed the importance of having fun on NPR. She categorized fun into three states: playfulness, connection, and flow.
She clarified that being playful doesn’t mean playing games for those who are averse to them, but rather, it’s “more about having a lighthearted attitude towards life and towards yourself.”
“Connection refers to this feeling of having a special shared experience with other people. And then flow is active and engaged. And really importantly, flow requires you to be present … I believe that the most accurate definition of fun is that it is a state of playful, connected flow.”
“Things feel very serious,” she said. “We are very lonely and isolated. And we're very distracted. Everyone is so busy but yet unfulfilled.”
As Price sees it, the answer is letting ourselves have fun, wherever we can find it. “Take fun seriously. Play around with it, and just notice the difference in your mood,” she advised. “The world would be a better place if we had more fun.”
11. Expressing their emotions with simple language
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The final thing that’s easy for average people but very challenging if you’re smart is expressing emotions using simple language that’s easy to understand. Smart people often over-explain themselves, using ten words when they could have used two. They sometimes struggle to describe their feelings without crafting a complicated narrative on sadness, or anger, or whatever it is they’re feeling. This habit keeps their emotions at a distance, which makes it harder to process them.
Psychologist Nick Wignall points out that people who have low emotional intelligence “use vague or metaphorical language to describe how they feel — ‘I’m just a little stressed’ or ‘I’m annoyed.’ Sometimes they intellectualize their emotions, using abstract and conceptual language to avoid describing how they really feel — ‘I’m just kind of overwhelmed.’"
“People with high emotional intelligence aren’t afraid to describe their feelings with plain emotional language,” he explains, which helps them face their feelings, even the hard ones, and move through them with grace and a deeper understanding of themselves.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a staff writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.