Your Parents Did A Good Job Raising You If You Have These 11 Things In Your Home As An Adult
It's not about the material possessions, but rather what you value.
Prostock-studio / Shutterstock Turning 18 is a pivotal moment in a person’s life. Hitting this milestone means you’re on your way to becoming an adult. While the road ahead won’t always be smooth or straightforward, your young adult years are a time to learn who you are, figure out what’s important to you, and start building a life that makes you feel complete. And if you have certain things in your home when you grow up and get one of your own, it means your parents did a good job raising you.
Part of the transition to adulthood involves leaving your parents’ home and living on your own, which is both exciting and nerve-wracking. You can sleep until noon every weekend without your mom waking you up, but you also have to buy groceries, make your own meals, and do the dishes afterwards. You have to meet your own practical needs, which means having enough laundry detergent in the house, while creating a nourishing, peaceful environment that lets you shine.
Your parents did a good job raising you if you have these 11 things in your home as an adult
1. Shelves filled with books
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Your parents did a good job raising you if you have shelves filled with books in your home as an adult. Whether you’re an avid book buyer or a devoted library visitor, having shelves that overflow with books shows that you’re intellectually curious, passionate, and committed to lifelong learning. Reading is a solid way to boost your imagination. It lets you travel the world without leaving your couch, and it even inspires people to be more empathic.
According to a research study from 2013, reading fiction impacts how much empathy a person has. The study’s findings support a hypothesis called “transportation theory,” which posits that reading fiction emotionally transports people into the story, which increases their capacity for empathy.
The researchers pointed out that the fictional narrative experience has “an important and profound impact on how people feel and behave in their daily lives.” Reading fiction gives people insight into who they really are, making it a valuable entry point for self reflection.
Fiction helps people become more empathic because it presents theoretical social experiences on the page, which allows readers to connect to characters, which enhances their interpersonal skills and their ability to connect with other people in real life.
If your shelves are stacked with books, your parents did a good job raising you.
2. A well-stocked pantry
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If you have a well-stocked pantry in your home as an adult, it shows that your parents did a good job raising you. Eating in a balanced, healthful way requires a certain amount of planning ahead. Having a pantry full of staple items, like canned tomatoes, cloves of garlic, and a hefty supply of rice and beans, lets you whip up a meal with ease.
A well-stocked pantry indicates that you pay attention to what you eat. Mealtime is more than standing over the sink and scarfing down a peanut butter and jelly sandwich: It’s a time to nourish your body and your soul. It’s highly likely that your parents insisted on eating together as a family, which meant you sat at the table and talked about your day.
As health coach and certified intuitive eating counselor Lisa Newman explains, “There is no doubt that regular family dinners lead to overall healthier eating and can set up your children for lifelong good eating habits.”
Research has shown that eating dinner as a family is a beneficial practice. Consistent family dinners are linked with higher academic performance, lowered stress, and stronger emotional connections between family members.
Even if you live alone, far away from your family, the meals you shared when you were younger taught you that eating well not only feeds your body, it also fills your heart.
3. A designated workspace
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Your parents did a good job raising you if you have a dedicated workspace in your home as an adult. It doesn’t have to be fancy or hi-tech or even a separate room, but creating a space that you only use for your job shows that you’re committed to staying organized and being as productive as possible.
Career coach Amy Bracht explains that, “Productivity is often misunderstood as simply the ability to get more done in a shorter amount of time,” yet in reality, productivity is less about output and more about how you get your work done.
She shares that being productive means “cultivating the mindset and habits that allow you to achieve your goals with greater efficiency and fulfillment.”
“Productivity is about leveraging your time, energy, and resources in a way that aligns with your values to propel you toward your desired outcomes,” Bracht reveals. “It's about finding the right balance between focused work and intentional rest and developing the self-awareness to recognize and eliminate the time-wasting activities that can hold you back.”
While working from bed while wearing your robe and slippers is your given right as an adult, it’s not the most conducive place to make a dent in your daily assignments. Sitting at a desk, even if it’s crammed into the corner of your closet, sets you up for success and shows your parents did a good job raising you.
4. A full calendar
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Having a calendar full of commitments in your home as an adult shows your parents did a good job raising you. Owning a calendar that’s printed on paper, one you can hold in your hands, is a sign that you’re highly organized and have strong time management skills. Using a calendar indicates that your parents taught you the value of keeping track of your schedule. It’s also a sign that you set goals for yourself, which motivate you to be your best self.
Your calendar is more than a to-do list or a map of the projects you’re working on professionally. It’s brimming with coffee dates and museum visits, so you can catch up with friends you haven’t seen in months. It has birthdays and anniversaries, holidays and travel plans. Your calendar is a reflection of how you’re flourishing in your adult life, which means your parents did a good job raising you.
5. Family photos
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If you have family photos in your home as an adult, it means your parents did a good job raising you. Whether your photos are carefully pressed into an album or framed and hanging on your walls, keeping old pictures is a clear sign that your family is important to you and you’re proud to carry them with you.
For many people, moving out of their family home marks a hard-drawn line in the sand. They have no interest in holding onto their past, which means they have no need for prom photos or first day of school pictures. They’d rather forget where they came from, which is an essential part of their healing journey. They acquire photos of their chosen family, rather than the family they were born into, which makes their house a home.
Your family photos might be sun-bleached, with tattered edges and fingerprint smudges, but that just means your memories are well-loved, and that your parents did a good job raising you.
6. Dinner parties
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If you have dinner parties in your home as an adult, it means your parents did a good job raising you. You recognize the importance of gathering friends together under one roof and serving them something delicious. Inviting your friends over for dinner or brunch or a cup of tea on a cold winter day shows how much you value social connection.
Opening your home up to people you care for is a valuable way to build a community. It’s a practice that keeps loneliness at bay and makes your life feel full and joyful. Celebrations for the sake of being together for no real reason is a way to remember how much love you have in your life. Your dinner parties don’t have to be extravagant affairs. You don’t even need matching plates or silverware, as long as you have each other.
7. A beloved pet
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Owning a pet isn’t for everybody, but for those it is right for, your parents did a good job raising you if you have a furry friend in your home. As a pet-owner, you’re responsible for caring for someone outside yourself. You make sure they’re fed and in good health. You play fetch with your sweet pup or you let your weird cat scale the living room walls chasing a laser pointer. You snuggle up with them whenever you can, because they’re your tiny bestie and being with them makes you feel good.
Pets do more than provide companionship. They help us lead healthier, more holistically integrated lives. The National Institute of Health reports that having a pet can improve your heart health, lower your stress levels, and help kids develop social and emotional skills. There are many therapeutic benefits to having a pet, as NIH researcher Dr. Ann Berger points out.
“The foundations of mindfulness include attention, intention, compassion, and awareness,” she says. “All of those things are things that animals bring to the table. People kind of have to learn it. Animals do this innately.”
The NIH noted that having a pet can lower people’s cortisol levels, the stress hormone that maintains our blood pressure and triggers our fight-or-flight response. Pet owners know that spending serious quality time with their pet is a major mood-booster. It’s hard to feel completely alone when you have a small animal in your home, asking for attention and also, treats. If you have a sweet beast sitting next to you, give them some love, and thank your parents for doing a good job raising you.
8. Sentimental keepsakes
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If you have sentimental keepsakes in your home as an adult, your parents did a good job raising you. Saving family heirlooms and tangible reminders of where you came from keeps you connected to your past as you move toward your future.
Your family heirlooms could be anything: The pair of shoes you took your first steps in, candlesticks your grandmother brought across the ocean, years before you were born. They’re the postcards your sister sent from camp and the quilt your great-aunt made, the one that gets passed down through generations.
Having keepsakes means you value your family history. These objects serve a far deeper purpose than being decorations. They’re something to hold onto as you head out into the world.
9. Collections that bring you joy
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If you have a collection that brings you joy, your parents did a good job raising you. Maybe your windowsills are lined with succulents and mini cacti because tending to plants makes you feel at peace. Maybe you have stacks of vinyl you found at a thrift store or a gallery of watercolors you painted. Having a hobby is a small, accessible way to stay passionate and let yourself decompress, no matter what your interests are.
Harvard Medical School reports that hobbies are good for our mental health. Taking part in an activity you love can alleviate symptoms of depression, boost your sense of life satisfaction, and make you happier.
Hobbies engage us in ways our jobs don’t. Pulling up weeds in your garden gives you sunshine on your face and gets your hands dirty. Playing in your neighborhood kickball league keeps your body moving and connects you to people in your community. Having a hobby lets people be creative and stay connected to themselves, showing that your parents did a good job raising you.
10. Cookbooks and family recipes
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Keeping cookbooks and family recipes in your home as an adult means your parents did a good job raising you. Figuring out your own routine, away from your family, is a process of trial and error. As years pass, you find your rhythm, which is rooted in how your parents raised you. Cooking from recipes your mother made, that her mother made, is like casting a magic spell.
Cooking at home is a way to feel connected to your family in adulthood. It allows you to make food you love and keep your traditions alive.
11. Laughter
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Your parents did a good job raising you if your home is full of laughter. Life isn’t easy, but finding humor amidst daily hardships is an essential act of self-care. There will always be bills due and pressure at your job and someone you know who’s fallen ill, and after all that, you still have to get dinner on the table.
Being able to laugh at the little things makes the bumps in the road more manageable. Sharing inside jokes with your partner and listening to your kids play pretend reveal that there’s always a way to access joy. A noisy home is a happy home, which shows your parents did a good job raising you into someone who’s content with their life.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a staff writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.