Mom Feels 'Torn' About Leaving Her Unemployed Boyfriend After He Says It's 'Selfish' To Break Up Their Family
"Do I wait things out and hope they improve? Or do I need to move on?"
Dikushin Dmitry | Shutterstock Acknowledging that it's time to end a relationship can be difficult, especially when a child is involved.
Such is the case for a woman on Reddit. She is "ready to give up on [her] unemployed boyfriend" but doesn't know if she should because they have a 2-year-old daughter together.
The mom feels 'torn' about leaving her boyfriend after he said it's 'selfish' to break up their family.
The 24-year-old woman explained in her Reddit post that she and her 30-year-old boyfriend have been together for six years.
"We live in an apartment and I support all three of us financially," she wrote. "I work at a credit union 40 hours a week and do food deliveries every day after work. We are living paycheck to paycheck and sometimes have to go without."
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While she works hard to support their family, her boyfriend definitely does not.
"My boyfriend is addicted to his computer," she admitted. "He will sit in front of his computer from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to bed."
Although he is home all day, he makes no effort to pull his weight around the home, refusing to cook, clean, find a job, or even help with their toddler.
"Anytime I ask for help he instantly gets defensive and it’s an argument or an excuse," she added. "I drive 3 extra hours a day to make sure our daughter is being watched by my aunt while I work. His computer is too important to care for her properly while I’m at work."
Anyone in her position would be exhausted. As several commenters pointed out, she's essentially taking care of two children — her daughter and the "man child playing video games."
Still, the woman is hesitant to leave her boyfriend because he says that it will hurt their daughter.
"Our daughter loves him and they get along well. He knows I love her more than anything and I’d do anything for her," she wrote. "Anytime I threaten to leave he tells me I’m hurting her and making her live the childhood I had with no father. Asking me if I want her to experience that as well."
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Her boyfriend accused her of being "selfish" and not thinking about their daughter's best interests. Unfortunately, his comments got into her head, making her doubt whether or not she should leave.
To make matters worse, members of his family have contacted the woman, insisting that her daughter "deserves her father in her life."
“Growing up I’d do anything to have a father in my life. Seeing other children have both parents I always felt left out," she admitted in a comment. "But I haven’t really thought of someone on the other end — someone who grew up with parents who didn’t love each other.”
The woman should prioritize her and her daughter's well-being.
In a healthy relationship, both partners pull their weight. Based on everything this Redditor shared, she is the only one in her relationship doing so.
"You’ve waited things out this far and they haven’t improved. Your boyfriend doesn’t help with parenting [or] household chores, and he’s unemployed," one commenter bluntly wrote. "He contributes absolutely nothing to your life."
"Staying with him for your child is a silly notion since he isn’t providing a form of childcare or parenting," they continued. "And raising a child in an unhappy marriage and having that be the child’s mold for future relationships isn’t good."
Another user pointed out that "leaving him does not deny him a role in his daughter’s life." It's up to him to cultivate that relationship with his child, even if they no longer live under the same roof.
Ultimately, he's a grown adult and is more than capable of standing on his own two feet. She should not sacrifice her well-being for a relationship that no longer serves her.
Based on the fact that her next Reddit post was titled "I (24F) need advice on evicting my unemployed boyfriend (30M) in Texas," it seems she came to the same conclusion.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.