12 Phrases To Say When You Want To Sound Confident & In Control
Take your power back and command respect from everyone around you.
Look Studio | Shutterstock When people want to seem confident, they throw on their best smile, nod reassuringly, and act like they are the biggest presence in the room. While it appears that this confident disposition is done with ease, it takes much more than just showing up.
There are certain phrases to say when you want to sound confident and in control, and they go beyond surface-level questions and comments. For people who have high self-esteem and carry themselves as such, their words matter, and it shows just how well they command the attention of everyone around them.
Here are 12 phrases to say when you want to sound confident and in control
1. 'I'm confident that we can find a solution'
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Your ability to navigate difficult situations is a must, whether at work, school, or out in the world. However, your ability to remain positive and in control during these tough predicaments is even more important. Because, according to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, experiencing positive emotions after a crisis is crucial for resilient people to buffer depression and encourage thriving.
As a result, a phrase like "I'm confident that we can find a solution" is self-assuring, and reinforces a positive mindset where you will find a solution and get through this bump in the road, no matter what.
2. 'Let's take a step back'
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Throughout life, you'll experience many instances when conversations become heated. During these moments, it's difficult to not let your emotions get the best of you as tensions rise and voices get louder. But if you want to sound confident and in control, saying, "Let's take a step back" is a must.
Mitigating situations begins with staying in control and allowing each party to have a reset period, during which they should take five seconds to calm down before responding. According to a study published in Communications Psychology, taking five seconds to "take a break" has a higher chance of diffusing aggression and negative emotions than continuing to argue.
Stay in control of the situation and call for a time-out, even if the other person doesn't initially want to at first. Not only will this make you look confident, but it will also work wonders in difficult conversations and arguments.
3. 'Let's explore our options first'
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It's tempting to dive head-first into a situation without giving it much thought. However, saying, "Let's explore our options first" is the best way to ensure that you sound confident and in control. Not only will it allow you to think ahead for possible hiccups, but lets you think about the best solution possible without feeling pressured to give a random answer.
Shahram Heshmat Ph.D., an associate professor emeritus and specialist in health economics, explained that acting before thinking is influenced by external forces. The pressure and demands of others make it increasingly impossible to make good decisions. Furthermore, negative emotions such as anger will cause knee-jerk reactions, leading to negative consequences.
4. 'I have a different idea'
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For people-pleasers, it's a way of being that some just can't overcome. According to a 2022 poll from YouGov, 49% of the adults surveyed identified as people-pleasers. Knowing this, it's not surprising that people struggle to express their ideas without second-guessing their actions along the way. And though relatable, if you want to sound confident and in control, saying, "I have a different idea" is a way to speak up for yourself.
It allows for constructive criticism and conversation, and makes you look 10 times more confident than everyone else in the room. Additionally, a McKinsey study found that companies with a diverse executive board have a 95% higher return on equity than those with non-diverse boards. This is mostly due to the diversity of opinion, which allows for greater cooperation and better ideas.
5. 'I take responsibility for that'
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The ability to take accountability for your actions is important in all aspects of your life, whether it's in friendships, relationships, or your career. A meta-analysis published in Psychological Bulletin found that apologizing was the most powerful form of interpersonal forgiveness. That said, taking responsibility for your actions isn't easy.
Most people hate admitting when they're wrong as it directly bruises their ego. Tyler G. Okimoto, a professor with a PhD in organizational psychology, cited a study from the European Journal of Social Psychology, which says that people hate apologizing because it forces them to give up control and power. It forces them to acknowledge that they're not as perfect as they make themselves out to be.
"Apologies feel like diminishing the self. Yes, because you are the one who screwed up! It makes you feel bad because you are admitting to others (and yourself) that you are capable of making mistakes or doing wrong. It is confronting for those who pride themselves as knowledgeable or ethical. It questions our integrity: We are not the perfect person we make ourselves out to be," Okimoto said.
6. 'I respectfully disagree with you'
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It's not easy to go against someone you love or respect. As mentioned, a good portion of adults identify as people-pleasers and don't want to do anything to jeopardize their image. But saying, "I respectfully disagree with you" might just make you sound more confident and in control.
People often forget that bluntness can instill trust and respect in the individual who has the guts to speak their mind. Bluntness can also be used to speed up the conversation and come to better resolutions much faster than agreeing ever could.
As a result, this phrase is the most polite way to get to the core issue without sounding rude, effectively allowing both parties to remain in control and keep a cool head throughout the conversation.
7. 'I need more time to think about this'
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If you want to sound confident and in control, you may often be told that the best way to do this is to be direct and quick with your decisions. However, this type of thinking can lead to bad decision-making.
According to a study from the University of Pittsburgh, anxiety is the main culprit for bad decision-making. Specifically, anxiety disengages the prefrontal cortex, a part of the brain associated with decision-making. As a result, anxiety can directly lead to making bad decisions.
When you want to sound confident and in control, this phrase lets you bring yourself to a calm mindset free of stress.
8. 'What are your thoughts?'
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When someone asks, "What are your thoughts?" it might sound dismissive or unconfident. But people who are unafraid of pushback are the most self-assured individuals out there. Always ask for other people's opinions during meetings or group projects. Not only will it make you sound confident and in control, but it can reinforce the idea that other people's opinions matter.
According to the book "Ostracism: The Power of Silence" by Kipling D. Williams, being ignored hurts. In fact, a study published in Advances in Experimental Social Psychology found that being ignored leads people to believe that they're not worthy enough of people's attention, which explains why it's so painful.
9. 'I stand by my decision'
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Don't be afraid to stand by your decisions and choices. Ruminating negatively can have major impacts on your mental health, according to a study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General.
That said, being proud and confident in your decisions isn't easy. When complicated matters arise, it can feel impossible to think that you made the best decision. However, if you want to sound confident, not looking back is essential.
Don't have any regrets and simply say, "I stand by my decision." Even if it was the wrong decision, making bad choices leads to personal growth that helps you evolve as an individual.
10. 'Let's revisit this at a later date'
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When at a job, workers want to resolve issues immediately. Whether it's petty disagreements or an incorrect report, getting the issues solved quickly is considered highly efficient. But you can't always solve a problem head-on, and rushing the process might make matters worse.
Shoba Sreenivasan, Ph.D., and Linda E. Weinberger, Ph.D., psychology professors at the Keck School of Medicine at USC, cited studies that said that rushing around might make your anxiety and stress a lot worse. Additionally, it increases your health risks.
As a result, you should take it easy and say, "Let's revisit this at a later date." This will relieve a ton of stress while allowing people to cool off before they continue the conversation.
11. 'Let me handle this'
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Everyone likes a person who sounds confident and can provide direction and leadership. Saying this phrase gets such a positive reaction from those around you, as you're quite literally taking control of the situation and relieving stress from the other person's plate.
But being this self-assured isn't easy. Most people were taught from a young age that silence is golden and to let adults handle things. Because of this, many grew up believing that their ability to take control was fairly non-existent.
However, getting out of this mindset is essential to growing your confidence. A phrase like this is easy to remember, and when you say it on a daily basis, it will help you start believing that you're more than capable of handling any difficulties life throws at you.
12. 'That won't work for me'
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On the surface, the phrase "That won't work for me" might sound highly intimidating and terrifying. Whether it's your partner or your job, sticking up for yourself and drawing boundaries is hard. As mentioned, people are people-pleasers who tend to put others' needs before their own. As a result, you probably wouldn't dare utter this phrase in fear of judgment.
However, people don't judge you as much as you think. A study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people's fear of judgment is often exaggerated and unrealistic. In truth, nobody is analyzing you with as clear of a microscope as you were initially led to believe.
So, you shouldn't be afraid to stick to your boundaries and speak up when things don't work for you. Most likely, people won't judge you either way.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.