12 Rare Traits Of A Highly Capable Person, According To Psychology
Are you self-assured and secure or anxiously fighting for a sense of confidence?
Oleksandr Schevchuk | Shutterstock Feeling confident, secure, and comfortable in life stems from being self-assured and capable—which isn’t always an easy trait to grow into or cultivate later in life. It’s not just inadvertently rooted in complex insecurities and anxiety; according to psychology, there are rare traits of a highly capable person that take a great deal of practice to achieve.
For many, that practice starts early on, with parents who promote their independence and childhood households that help them flex their emotional intelligence and self-empowerment muscle early on. For others, it’s an adult venture—learning about their weaknesses and growing the strengths that help them be more capable in their new identities and independent lives.
Here are 12 rare traits of a highly capable person, according to psychology:
1. They enjoy and value their alone time.
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According to psychology expert Steve Taylor, self-sufficiency—or being a highly capable person who’s able to fend for themselves and advocate in their best interests, whether in relationships or personal development—helps people feel less vulnerable to disrespect, being taken advantage of, or being stuck in unhealthy situations.
However, although their perceived confidence and self-assuredness fend off these negative experiences, although that’s partially true, they also can prioritize time for introspection—flexing their self-awareness skills. They enjoy spending time alone to recharge and invest in themselves with their unique interests and hobbies, have reflection time, and have space to heal and cope.
2. They feel secure in their own identity.
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In addition to being radically honest and authentic, competent people tend to be more self-assured and confident. They feed into their identity with tailored alone time, reflection, and intentional introspection, not just to support their emotional health but also to benefit their connections—whether with a stranger in a passing conversation or their long-term partner.
While it might seem like a rare trait that boils down to a vague sense of self-confidence or self-care, the truth is that having a solid understanding of oneself is much more complicated than it seems. It is rooted in accepting one's weaknesses, feeling stable, and detaching from the need for external validation or outward praise.
3. They have unique hobbies and interests.
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Choosing unique hobbies and making space for your interests can be incredibly healthy for your physical and emotional well-being, at least according to a study from the Nature Medicine journal. Not only do hobbies help with cognitive skills, memory, and concentration, but they also feed into our unique identities and serve as de-stressing activities after long or busy days.
Highly capable people often use their alone time to feed into these unique interests, reassuring their sense of self in fun and pragmatic ways.
4. They are empathetic.
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According to social work expert Elizabeth Segal, empathy improves life, general well-being, and physical health in various ways. These include enriching social interactions, lowering stress levels, combating burnout, and helping assured people guide their own moral compasses.
Highly capable people understand how empathy enriches their lives and connections. Still, it’s not necessarily a deliberate choice they’re making to be understanding—it’s simply a byproduct of the emotional intelligence that feeds into their balanced and foundational self-esteem.
5. They easily make new friends and connections.
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Competent people tend to be more confident and self-assured than others, which supports their social interactions, ability to reach out to others confidently, and ability to connect with people they’ve never met. Because they appear more approachable from a self-assured perspective, they attract people, sparking connections in even the most minuscule settings.
Unlike more insecure people, who tend to attract other people with low self-esteem, according to a study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, highly capable people feed into the relationships that fulfill them—never looking to fill emotional voids with connection but only adding to the assuredness they already experience.
6. They don’t let other people’s opinions negatively affect them.
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According to the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History, humans are driven by an innate need for belonging and connection, often stemming from the need for community or “a tribe,” as researchers from the museum explain. Sometimes, in our practical and modern lives today, that need manifests itself as an anxious need to appease other people and absorb their harmful opinions.
Highly capable people's self-acceptance stems from self-awareness in their daily lives, helping them combat this often toxic and innate desire. They understand that other people’s opinions are not facts. They can confidently take accountability and self-reflect when they notice their acknowledged weaknesses contradicting someone else’s constructive criticism or feedback.
7. They’re not overly inflated by validation and praise.
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According to psychology expert Steve Taylor, similarly to how these self-assured and competent people don’t let other people’s negative opinions about them affect their lives, they’re not incredibly motivated or inflated by good views, external validation, or praise either.
Considering they’re already confident and cultivating a sense of balanced self-importance in various parts of their lives, they don’t find it necessary to seek out or entertain praise — even when it’s well-intentioned.
8. They’re adaptable in new social situations.
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According to a study published by Frontiers in Psychology, highly adaptable people tend to have more fulfilling, meaningful, and happy lives than their stagnant and anxious counterparts. With more successful careers, like the study’s researchers argue, a benefit to adaptability, a flexible mindset, and higher life satisfaction, they find navigating social environments and new connections fulfilling rather than draining.
Highly capable people are excited to connect with others, especially in person. Social interactions fulfill them in various ways that more anxious and emotionally exhausted people struggle to be flexible around.
9. They enjoy change.
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With a more balanced foundation for navigating life, competent people tend to be less destabilized by chaotic life events and unprompted change, like heartbreak, a new job, or losing a loved one, than others might be in the same situations.
They operate from a confident and secure sense of self, where they’ve learned and committed to coping mechanisms, self-care, and emotional reassurance needed to maintain that unwavering mentality.
10. They trust their own instincts.
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Studies, like one published in the Psychological Science journal, argue that listening to your gut instinct and pairing it with confident and analytical thinking patterns can be incredibly helpful for physical, mental, and emotional health and wellbeing. Not only are you leading with intuition when you’re listening to your gut, you’re making better judgment calls under pressure and protecting yourself from negative energy.
According to psychology experts, self-trust and reliance on instincts are among the rarest traits of a highly capable person, as they give them the foundation to make better, more fulfilling, and productive decisions.
11. They’re less drawn to consumerism and trends.
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With their self-assuredness, highly capable people tend to be less drawn to fads, the trend cycle, and consumerist tendencies that others might use to fill an emotional void or cope with uncomfortable emotions, as Ohio University psychology professor Robert Arkin suggests.
They don’t need escapist routes or distractions from their daily lives because they find fulfillment and peace in being grounded in their bodies and emotions rather than trying to ignore them.
12. They’re not afraid to pave their own unique life path.
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As psychology expert Taylor continues, highly capable people with a strong sense of self-sufficiency and authenticity aren’t afraid to go against the grain of their peers, families, and friends and take the road less traveled—whether in their personal lives, professional careers, or passing interactions and relationships.
They don’t mind disappointing other people who’ve crafted an internal expectation for them to meet, especially if it means they’re allowed to pursue their interests and ensure their authenticity.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.