11 Things Mentally Strong People Refuse To Do For Other People
If you are emotionally tough and resilient, you simply will not do these things for anyone else.
Krakenimages.com / Shutterstock Mentally strong people have a resilient mindset which leads them to put their foot down with others in a wide variety of situations. In order to maintain healthy boundaries and ensure their own needs are met, these are certain things mentally strong people simply refuse to do for others.
Dr. Daniel Amen defines being mentally strong as being "confident, kind, responsible, and resilient." In their desire to protect their own physical and mental well-being, mentally strong people become skilled at managing any people-pleasing tendencies and choose to live by their own rules. They don't bend their own compasses based on the opinions of others, and while they're certainly not selfish or unkind, they won't put themselves in jeopardy in order to satisfy someone else's desires.
These are 11 things mentally strong people refuse to do for other people
1. Make excuses
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The first thing mentally strong people refuse to do for other people is make excuses. They ate committed to working on their own flaws and won't even try to explain the reasons for other people's poor behavior.
In their eyes, they do the inner work to grow and mature as individuals. They enter into friendships and relationships with self-awareness and actively work to improve themselves. So, why should anybody else get a hall pass?
For instance, a 2013 literature review published states that "employees with a high degree of personal accountability perform at a higher level than those who lack individual accountability." Considering how important doing your own work is, it's best to leave it up to others to take responsibility for their own actions.
2. Allow them to stick around if they're toxic
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Another thing mentally strong people refuse to do for other people is allow them to stick around if they're toxic. Wanting to be the best versions of themselves, mentally strong people have no issues cutting off toxic individuals from their lives.
This isn't always easy, but people who want to be the healthiest versions of themselves sometimes need to make difficult decisions. People who actively choose to hang around toxic influences often get hurt the most. According to licensed mental health counselor Stephanie A. Sarkis Ph.D., toxic individuals cause increased anxiety and decreased in self-esteem in others.
Even when it's difficult, mentally strong people don't allow others to get in the way of their mental health. Thinking and acting in one's own best interests can be a beautiful thing and allows people to decide for themselves what makes their inner light come alive.
3. Sacrifice their values
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The next thing mentally strong people refuse to do for other people is sacrifice their own values. Some people think that sacrificing their values is necessary for the betterment of other people. However, if the sacrifice comes at the cost of their own values, mentally strong people will refuse to do it.
Bosses, coworkers, friends, and family may expect them to compromise their values in exchange for affection, praise, or a better paycheck. In the moment, they might feel tempted to give in to other people's desires, but ultimately they understand that doing this will only result in a world of pain and confusion later down the road.
Instead, these individuals opt out and stand firm in their belief system. Will this get them fired or cut off from their friend group? Possibly. However, they won't go to bed regretting their decision years from now, allowing them to sleep soundly at night.
4. Engage in unnecessary conflict
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Mentally strong people are so used to the free-spirited lifestyle that being dragged into conflict by others is a complete no-go in their book. In their mind, they've done the work to live a drama-free lifestyle. They've cut off the necessary family members and have picked wisely when it comes to their friends. As a result, they'll be the first to hold up their hands and say, "I refuse to engage in drama."
The amount of stress that comes from engaging in drama isn't worth it. Harvard Health notes that chronic stress leads to high blood pressure and causes brain changes that can lead to depression and anxiety.
Mentally strong people know that these types of stressors can quickly take hold of their otherwise healthy life, which is why they're quick to turn their back when nonsense comes knocking at their door. They just don't see any reason to subject themselves to it.
5. Put others' needs before their own
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Unlike others, mentally strong people understand that people-pleasing tendencies can quickly ruin their mental health if they're not careful. According to physician Kristen Fuller, M.D., people-pleasing is often a form of emotional harm that can result in depression and anxiety.
These individuals find the inner strength to say no even to the people they adore most in this world. Though it's difficult, mentally strong people taught themselves the importance of self-care and how refusing to engage in it can have dire consequences down the road.
6. Take on more they can handle
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Mentally strong people refuse to take on more than they can handle. Whether it's an additional project at work or a surprise party for their grandparent, they are always weighing the pros and cons of the decisions they make.
Growing up, mentally strong people may have been taught that people-pleasing and catering to others should always be at the forefront of their minds, rendering them incapable of stepping out of those tightly drawn lines. But now, as an adult, these strong individuals know better and decide for themselves what's best for their mental health.
With this comes the inevitable need to put their foot down and say, "No, this is way too much for me to handle."
People may fight this and tell them they need to step up to the plate and be a team player, but mentally strong people stand firm and refuse to compromise, allowing themselves to put their essential needs first.
7. Let others control their decisions
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In tough situations, it can feel tempting to allow other people to take the reins. When insecurity and uncertainty come knocking at the door, it's normal to freeze up or feel intimidated. However, mentally resilient people don't allow their insecurities to get the better of them. They're able to admit to these fears and find healthy ways to confront them directly.
Not only that, Barbara Markway Ph.D. writes that, "Most clinical research studies have shown that to overcome fear, the treatment process must include an exposure component. You can't simply sit in the therapist’s office exploring how and why you developed your fears; you have to confront them head-on."
Only through doing this can someone feel confident enough to take control over their own life, allowing their insecurities to take a back seat once and for all.
8. Take the blame for things outside of their control
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In the moment, it's easy to allow tensions to rise and to play the blame game. However, placing blame will only get people so far. In fact, it will never actually address the real problem, as placing blame is simply a way people deflect in order to keep their own ego intact.
A study published in Personality and Individual Differences found that people who place blame on others do so because they have a lower ability to self-regulate their emotions.
Knowing this, it's unsurprising that those with high emotional intelligence refuse to allow others to dump the blame on them. Instead, mentally strong people will put their foot done and suggest taking a break before the situation spirals out of hand.
9. Change who they are
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Sometimes as people grow older they discover things about themselves that they would've never even guessed before. They may discover a love for adventure and the great outdoors, or they may come to realize certain things make them uncomfortable and stop taking part in them.
People are bound to change at some point in their lives, but mentally strong people only change when it feels authentic to them, not because someone else wants them to do so.
Not everyone in their lives will be thrilled by these changes and some may actively do their best to steer mentally strong people in a different direction. They may complain that, "This isn't like you," and insist that they, "Stop acting differently." Those with great mental strength won't allow these kind of comments to get the better of them, resulting in other people growing increasingly frustrated with the new them.
10. Allow others to become dependent on them
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The next thing mentally strong people refuse to do for other people is allow them to become dependent. It can be difficult, but doing the right thing sometimes means pushing other people away.
Emotionally dependent individuals tend to hate being alone, which doesn't allow much room for growth. As a result, they cling to others, merging their identities. Though it might seem sweet or like a tight-knit bond, this sort of behavior can have dangerous consequences.
A study published in Biochemistry Research International found that emotionally dependable people engage in controlling, restrictive, and even aggressive behavior. Researchers found that the correlation between proactive aggression and emotional dependency occurs regardless of the situation.
For people who might have emotionally dependent individuals in their lives, it's often best to cut that cord before it impacts them for the worst.
11. Seek revenge
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Finally, the last thing mentally strong people refuse to do for other people is seek revenge. Whether it's their best friend who got broken up with or their family member who got involved in drama, mentally strong people refuse to entertain it. They understand that seeking revenge will only end in disaster. Not only that, but taking revenge might not even make the individual feel better.
Research shows that people who take revenge only report satisfaction when the recipient understood why the act occurred. Additionally, unacknowledged revenge and no revenge had the same effect, showcasing that there's basically no point in bothering.
Knowing this, it's a complete waste of time to try to get revenge on others. It grounds people in the past and causes them to ruminate, decreasing their mental health. Combined with the fact that the other party might not even understand that what happened was a consequence of their own actions, it becomes clear that taking a step back and refusing to make things even worse is the best course of action.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.