6 Signs Your Instant Connection With A Man Is Healthy & Meant To Last, According To Psychology
The stars aligned for the two of you to meet.
LaylaBird | Canva There are moments when you feel magnetically drawn to someone that set you off thinking you may have met your soulmate. So, what’s going on when this happens?
Will the instant charge of attraction fade, and you drift apart? Or is this feeling a sign from the universe that you’ve finally met "the one?" If you know where and how to look, the signs are there to read.
Here are 6 signs your instant connection with a man is healthy and meant to last:
1. You stay grounded.
Sharing your life with someone brings many challenges, as life sometimes throws you a curveball. Staying grounded when you feel magnetically drawn to someone keeps you from falling for the fantasy of perfection.
Your soulmate will not be a mind-reader who gets you. You will have disagreements and miscommunication. You don’t need to idealize your partner to love him.
If you can enjoy and appreciate your strong connection and still stay present to see this person as they are without rose-colored glasses, then you can make things work long-term. You're staying with this person by choice, which is what love is. According to a YouGov poll, 61% of Americans agree with this.
2. You feel accepted for being yourself.
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Being magnetically attracted to your soulmate allows you to feel loved and accepted as is. You will not have to change for your soulmate (although you may make some accommodations for one another, especially as you grow together over time). Feeling accepted by your partner is linked to higher relationship satisfaction, a 2023 study states.
You know your magnetic attraction is true because your soulmate will get you. He will love you because of your quirks and flaws, not despite them.
He will understand your wounds and triggers and support you in living at your highest and best self. Your soulmate will choose to love you no matter what, even when you make mistakes or disappoint him.
3. You can be real with each other.
Being magnetically drawn to someone is a good sign when the two of you are authentic with each other from the start. Research from 2013 states that authenticity is the best way to create love.
You don’t hold back or keep your heart closed. You speak how you feel and ask for what you want.
Your soulmate won’t be offended or put off when you speak up. He’ll be excited to discover your needs and will step up to honor requests. Authenticity holds a high vibration, and you will find it easy to connect with your soulmate when you’re not walking on eggshells or evaluating how you should or shouldn’t communicate.
4. You respect your differences.
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A relationship with someone who is just like you would be boring and lack chemistry. Studies from 2021 state that it is the differences that make two people come together and last as a couple. An introvert ends up with an extrovert, and someone with a reserved demeanor connects with an emotionally expressive partner.
One of you is a saver, the other a spender. The magic of differences means that you defer to each other’s strengths in a soulmate relationship.
Being magnetically drawn to someone who respects and values your differences instead of getting stuck in a power struggle is a sign that your connection is genuine. In a soulmate relationship, you can let your partner take care of the things you aren’t good at, and you can be appreciated for your expertise.
5. You want to make amends even when you disagree.
Being magnetically attracted to someone doesn’t mean that you won’t experience disappointment. Life is full of challenges, and part of a thriving, balanced life is having someone to navigate those challenges with you.
This doesn’t mean that your soulmate won’t occasionally let you down or disappoint you. Your soulmate is a flawed human, just like you are. The difference is your soulmate will do what is necessary to repair and make amends when they mess up.
6. You want to share the important things.
You may not like the same kind of movies or music as your soulmate. The two of you may have very different hobbies. But you both know that these are not what is important. When you are on the same page with what is important, you can trust your magnetic connection.
When you both value the same things in life and can respect each other’s strategies for achieving your goals, your attraction can lead to lasting love. Couples with the same values have a higher chance of staying together, 2023 research tells us.
It takes time to discover if someone can be your ideal match. It’s effortless when you feel magnetically drawn to someone and fail at noticing signs that the relationship isn’t healthy for you.
Take your time. No matter how strong your connection is, you’ll be open to discovering if your love can stand the test of time.
Being magnetically drawn to someone does not guarantee that you’ve met your soulmate. Slowing down the dating process speeds up the opportunity to discover an ideal match for you for the long term. Not rushing into exclusivity ensures that you won’t fall into unhealthy patterns in your unique relationship homeostasis.
Orna and Matthew Walters are dating coaches, the founders of Creating Love On Purpose, which takes a holistic approach to transforming hidden blocks into love, and the authors of Getting It Right This Time.