Tom Brady Says Parents Today Mess Their Kids Up By Not Allowing Them To Fail
He thinks that kids have to fail to reach success.
OSCAR GONZALEZ FUENTES | Shutterstock Tom Brady is, quite possibly, the most well-known athlete in the world — or, at least, the most well-known football player.
With Brady’s fame comes the responsibility to set an example for the legions of young fans who look up to him. And, it turns out, he has some interesting advice for them and their parents.
Tom Brady thinks that parents should allow their children to fail.
Brady was a guest at Fortune Magazine’s Global Forum, where he spoke with editor-in-chief Alyson Shontell.
During their conversation, Brady discussed his own parenting style and what he thinks is going wrong for kids today. Brady said, “Think of today’s world, how we screw these kids up. Every time they mess up, we send them to an easier place to succeed.”
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By allowing kids to skip over the hard parts of life, Brady argued, we are doing them a major disservice.
“We’ve all faced different challenges in life; we’ve all faced our own adversities. Look at the hardest things that have ever happened. We look back at those and realize they’re the best things that could’ve happened,” he explained.
This is a lesson Brady learned personally. He said it was necessary for him to “grind each year” in high school to finally make the position of starting quarterback his senior year.
Brady argued that in today’s world, most kids would just transfer to another, less competitive school with the approval of their parents. This is the problem, he said.
Brady was insistent that he never “would’ve had that success had I not gone through all the challenges of high school and college sports.” Without the struggle, he never would have seen his immense achievements.
And Brady certainly has seen success. ESPN reported that the 47-year-old scored 649 touchdowns over his storied NFL career that began in 2000.
Tom Brady speaks about parenting from experience as a father himself.
While some may find it difficult to take parenting advice from a celebrity like Brady, he may just know what he’s talking about.
According to People Magazine, Brady has three children: Jack, whose mother is actress Bridget Moynahan, Benjamin, and Vivian, whose mother is model Gisele Bundchen.
Brady opened up about his own parenting style, which he says is an attempt to mirror his parents, who were “supportive and dependable.”
“The blessing my parents gave: When I was that long-shot as a kid who was a backup quarterback, they never said, man, don’t do that, it’ll be too hard, think about another backup plan,” Brady recounted. “They said, go for it — that’s probably my parenting style.”
Experts actually agree with Brady's theory on letting children experience struggle.
Although being a parent doesn’t make Brady a parenting expert, he just might be on to something with the idea that you should let kids fail.
Psychologist Liz Nissim-Matheis wrote about the same subject for Psychology Today.
Referring to difficult circumstances in life in which we can’t always succeed, Nissim-Matheis said, “It’s okay for our children to have these experiences. In fact, we want them to have these experiences while they still live under our roof. Let them fail; let them fall.”
“Don’t make it your job to make it better by calling the coach, the teacher, or anyone else because things seem unfair to your child, and she is upset,” she continued.
This fits with Brady’s assertion that kids should not take the easy way out. Letting parents take over a situation for them would be doing so.
“Although the thought of allowing our children to fail or fall sounds frightening and may even trigger feelings of guilt or shame for you as a parent, know that you are giving your child the very skills they need to grow into healthy, well-adjusted adults,” Nissim-Matheis concluded.
For Brady, who talked about the importance of stepping outside of one’s comfort zone, this would certainly ring true.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.