The Silent Strain: How Anxiety Sneakily Manifests In The Body And Wreaks Havoc
Exploring the physical toll of anxiety and how it affects muscles, posture, and well-being.
Faalguni Mandal | Canva It’s always the little things. Those minor irritations, the small stuff we’re told not to sweat — a particular look or a change in the tone of someone’s voice making a simple statement that plants the seed of tightness that starts to grow in my shoulders. I never recognize the signs.
After years of managing what I now know to be anxiety, you’d think I’d be able to identify the start of that slow, creeping tightness. My posture, which I’ve perfected after years of yoga and Pilates, shifts into a rounded spine, resulting in a slump in my upper back. I begin to rub my neck. It feels tense.
I want to take deep breaths, but I can’t. I’m not in danger of running out of oxygen — I can breathe — but I can’t get the air deep into my stomach, where there’s even more tightness. And my jaw. My jaw has always been where my life experiences take up space. I’ve been told I clench my jaw when concentrating, and I know I grind my teeth when I sleep.
My dentist told me this was the reason one of my fillings came loose. He made me a mouthguard to wear at night, though I always forget to use it.
If you asked me to picture someone suffering from anxiety, I’d imagine a person who bites their fingernails, someone who is afraid to make eye contact or speak up for themselves, retreating into the safety of their own body.
Perhaps that person is an introvert, a homebody who avoids social situations. I couldn’t be more opposite to that image. I’m outgoing and an extrovert, often accused of being too loud sometimes. I don’t bite my nails and always make eye contact when speaking to people.
Social situations don’t worry me at all, although when the tightness takes over, I prefer to be at home. I prefer to be alone. I want space to sit in the quiet. Often, I’m not even thinking. I’m just sitting in the silence.
I’ve written many stories about my chaotic childhood. I live like an open book and don’t hide or sugarcoat my feelings about the past. Having put the past behind me, it never occurs to me that certain situations in the present affect me because of what I’ve seen, heard, and experienced.
Anxiety doesn’t allow time for reflection. The person I am today — free from that chaotic past — has made active choices to create a life as opposite from my upbringing as possible.
I married a wonderful man who would never abuse me or the kids. I’m not isolated from my friends or family. I try to keep my perspective on the small stuff and never let it grow into something too large to repair.
Yet the tightness is still there. And so is the invisible fight inside my stomach, which leaves me drained even though no one around me would know.
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Linking emotions to physical tension
I often tell my kids to “read the room.” I want to teach them the importance of choosing the right time and place to discuss serious matters or make jokes.
Perhaps this lesson is too complex a concept for my kids to grasp. If I can’t explain where and why the tightness grows, how can they read it on my face?
It’s never the kids’ fault. This I know. But when they collectively ambush me, all wanting to be heard at once, talking over each other and clawing at me for their moment of attention, I feel that tightness.
It’s not my husband’s fault. This I know. But when I hear him raise his voice or see him carrying a larger-than-usual mental load, I notice my jaw clench, and my neck stiffens more than it was just a few minutes ago.
It’s not my client’s fault, I know. But when all their emails flood in at once and I realize I’ve taken on too much — often due to my own enthusiasm—my back feels tight, and shallow breathing takes over.
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The role of emotional repression in muscle pain
Recently, I found myself desperate for a visit with my physiotherapist. My back and neck had been tight for days, and then, in performing some random move — probably reaching for my coffee — I felt my lower back spasm.
I wasn’t immobilized, but what followed was a week of popping anti-inflammatory medications like candy, along with a whole lot of complaining and discomfort. During my appointment with my physiotherapist, she asked if I’d felt more stressed lately.
After a 20-minute explanation of one of my life's most stressful and awful weeks, she explained that the tension in my body could likely be directly linked to my emotions. The website More Good Days, explains:
The stress response from anxiety can elicit physical symptoms such as muscle tension, which can progress to chronic stiffness and pain in the back. Anxiety-related behaviors, such as posture changes and muscle tension, can make existing back pain worse. This is similar to the body being stuck in perpetual readiness with muscles tensed and ready for action, causing long-lasting discomfort well after the stress has gone.
Stress-related changes in breathing patterns and shoulder posture can cause tension and inflict pain, especially in the mid-to-upper regions of the back. Such evidence shows how even the most basic actions can become entangled in the complex web of anxiety — affecting your physical health through the toll imposed on an over-aroused nervous system that manifests as muscular tension within the body itself.
Discovering the link between anxiety and my ongoing back pain has been a huge revelation, and this discovery prompted me to explore the connection in more detail.
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Exploring specific areas of tension and their emotional causes
While “stress” is the term usually used to describe muscle tension, there are deeper explanations for the stiffness felt in various body parts. Dr. Douglas Tataryn, Ph.D. (C.Psych), developed the Bio-Emotive Framework. His research and clinical focus centered on understanding how emotional processes affect our bodies’ physical well-being.
He discovered that muscle tension can often develop as a result of four leading causes:
- Social Conditioning
- Trauma
- Psychological Tension
- Environmental Stressors and Habits
While the mind’s effect on the body isn’t groundbreaking, I was interested to discover that certain locations in our bodies often hold specific types of emotions. For example, shoulder tension is connected to the burden of responsibilities, often arising from social and emotional obligations. Neck tension results from trust and communication problems, complicating fear and self-expression challenges.
Having recently experienced middle back tension, I was shocked to discover that the pain is tied to feelings of insecurity and powerlessness, often due to a lack of support. At the same time, my lower back tightness is associated with guilt, shame, and low self-esteem, while glute tension reflects suppressed anger and rage.
My son has recently been complaining of stomach aches before school, a time of day when I know he can become anxious. What I found most interesting was that tension in the stomach may signal difficulties in processing emotions, leading to physical discomfort. After reading through the physical issues, I gained a clearer understanding of how current situations affect me due to specific feelings I’ve tried so hard to repress or leave in the past.
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Addressing triggers and symptoms
My shoulders become tight when my home responsibilities start to feel overwhelming. My upper and middle back ache when I choose not to react or respond to the emotions of my family when they become too large to manage.
My glutes and stomach tension speak directly to my repressing my real emotions — because sometimes it’s better to choose your battles or say nothing to keep the peace. Going deep into this rabbit hole, I’ve better understood why the little things manifest as tightness in my body. However, like many of us who suffer from chronic anxiety, discovering ways to manage the physiological and emotional symptoms isn’t easy, and there’s no quick fix.
Jim Folk, the president of The Anxiety Centre, suggests that by reducing stress, practicing deep breathing, increasing rest and relaxation, and ensuring we get daily exercise, our bodies can recover from the sustained stress responses — and, as such, the tightness in our bodies should dissipate.
I know that in my case, my anxious feelings will likely continue to pop up like uninvited guests. But next time I begin to feel the tightness in my body, I plan to stop, breathe, and then try to figure out why I’m reacting in such a physical way.
By addressing the underlying emotions and triggers, I hope to find healthy ways to manage my anxiety and prevent it from taking over my body — or at least stop it from causing another spasm in my lower back. It’s a journey, but one I’m willing to take to gain control over my anxiety and live a more balanced, peaceful life.
Deanna Bugalski is an Australian reality storyteller and fabulously chaotic mom of three, who writes about human interests topics, travel, entertainment, mental health, and the struggle to juggle daily life with a good dose of humor.