11 Phrases Truly Confident People Say Often, According To Psychology
When you hear someone talking this way it's a sure sign they're full of confidence in themselves.
mentatdgt / Shutterstock Confidence is a highly sought-after trait. People are always looking for ways to boost their confidence. If you walk into the self-help section of any bookstore, you’ll find shelves filled with books that guarantee this one trick will give you the confidence you need to succeed. The idea that confidence is tied to professional and personal success is deeply ingrained in our psyches, to the point where one seems impossible without the other.
Psychologists define confidence as the belief that you can meet challenges and overcome them. Being confident means you have a realistic understanding of your abilities and feel secure in who you are. The phrases that truly confident people say convey a sense of ease, which makes other people feel comfortable in their presence.
Being confident isn’t a fixed trait. A person can be confident in one area but feel less confident in others. Yet with attention, care, and practice, confidence can always grow stronger.
Here are 11 phrases truly confident people say often, according to psychology
1. ‘I appreciate your feedback’
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A phrase truly confident people say often is, “I appreciate your feedback.” This phrase demonstrates a lack of defensiveness, which is an essential part of hearing constructive criticism. It’s not easy to listen to people tell you how you can improve, as it shakes the foundation of your self-perception. Insecure people tend to be emotionally reactive when they receive feedback.
Truly confident people know that feedback isn’t a judgment call on their worthiness, rather, it’s a path toward self-improvement. When truly confident people say that they appreciate feedback, they really mean it. They take the time they need to process the information. They consider what steps to take to incorporate that feedback into their lives and take action.
Being confident stems from self-awareness and acceptance. Truly confident people know that having flaws doesn't diminish who they are, which is why they accept feedback with grace and appreciation.
2. ‘I’m not perfect and that’s okay’
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Another phrase truly confident people say often is, “I’m not perfect and that’s okay.” Having confidence keeps them grounded in the knowledge that there’s nothing wrong with imperfection. They recognize what they’re capable of while acknowledging that no one person is amazing at everything they do. Accepting their imperfections gives them confidence to try new things and fail, which is how people learn.
By saying, “I’m not perfect and that’s okay,” truly confident people put self-compassion into action. As clinical psychologist Judith Tutin reveals, “Loving yourself with limits is the furthest thing from unconditional.”
Tutin points out that striving for perfection is the enemy of radically accepting yourself and loving who you are. She acknowledges that dwelling on our less perfect traits is incredibly human, but it holds us back from believing in ourselves and connecting with other people on a deeper level.
“You imagine people won’t like you because you aren’t perfect, but you can consciously remind yourself that quirks and eccentricities are what we love about people,” Tutin explains. “We also love people who make mistakes, don’t always get what they want, and who regularly screw things up. It allows us to share our misses.”
“It’s OK to celebrate successes, but you are more than your wins. Failure makes us human, and talking about failure allows us to get the support we need and increases our empathy toward others,” she concludes.
By outwardly expressing that they accept their imperfections, truly confident people send a message to others that loving who you are, as you are, is more important than being perfect.
3. ‘I’m open to change’
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According to psychological theory, confidence isn’t a fixed characteristic. It’s a mutable trait, something that people can learn over the course of their lives. Confidence functions like a muscle: it’s something that gets stronger the more you practice. Building confidence requires people to stay open-minded and flexible, which is one reason why truly confident people often say the phrase, “I’m open to change.”
Truly confident people are fully aware that not everything in their lives will go according to plan. Yet they don’t let hardships or unexpected outcomes knock them down. Instead, they reassess their direction and implement whatever changes they need to make to get them closer to their intended goal.
Being open to change makes truly confident people highly resilient. Lisa Petsinis, a certified life and transformation coach, reveals that much like confidence, resilience is a muscle that can be made stronger with practice. She defines resilience as “The ability to push through with optimism and trust that you can overcome difficulties, and the universe has your back.”
Petsinis outlines how being resilient can help you succeed, noting that resilience lets “you learn and grow from every experience, ultimately becoming stronger as a result. When you're resilient, you choose your actions — you respond. When you lack resilience, you give up your control — you react.”
Being open to learning and changing are at the core of resilience.
“Resilient people take every opportunity to learn… The more you support your personal growth, the more you’ll see possibilities all around you,” Petsinis concludes.
4. ‘I’m proud of myself’
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Another phrase truly confident people say often is, “I’m proud of myself.” They celebrate their wins, even the little ones, like putting their folded laundry away instead of leaving it in a neatly stacked pile on the floor. When it comes to bigger wins, like getting a promotion at work or completing a difficult task, they express how proud they are of themselves. Truly confident people don’t let their pride grow so huge that it over-inflates their egos, but they do take the time to outwardly acknowledge that they succeeded.
Being able to say you’re proud of yourself isn’t always easy, especially for people conditioned to downplay their victories. Yet healthy pride and having confidence go hand in hand, and you can cultivate both by learning to love yourself more.
Speaker and consultant Mary Morrissey reveals a simple practice that helps people feel confident and worthy of love. “Many of us wish we had more confidence to go after what we dream about. Unfortunately, we all have ideas of unworthiness growing in the gardens of our minds,” she shares.
Morrissey describes confidence as “a practice that we need to cultivate,” noting, “we may have been brought up to constantly engage in critical and judgmental thinking, both of others and ourselves, so we don't know how to be confident.”
She also outlines a mindfulness practice that can help people embody confidence in their subconscious and apply it to their conscious selves. The first step is to imagine a confident person. Think about the characteristics they have that radiate confidence and channel that energy for yourself. Picture how you’d hold yourself and how you’d speak if you felt fully sure of yourself, then translate what you feel in your subconscious into your reality.
“Whenever you feel yourself hesitate or sink into self-criticism, take a deep breath and evoke that energy field you experienced in your subconscious imagination. Step into that confidence master's energy field once more,” she advises.
5. ‘I won’t compromise my values’
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Truly confident people often say the phrase, “I won’t compromise my values.” When they’re faced with a morally ambiguous situation, they make this declaration, reaffirming their commitment to what they believe.
Tchiki Davis, MA, PhD, defines core values as the enduring beliefs people hold that guide their actions. There are two types of core values that influence our identities and how we relate to other people. Instrumental values are desirable ways to act and behave, such as kindness and honesty. Terminal values are desirable end states, like being healthy, feeling happy, and having a sense of security.
Our values are directly linked to our actions, which means that having a clear understanding of what you value can lead you toward living the life you want. Truly confident people say they won’t compromise their values because being true to themselves is what grounds them. They don’t seek external validation or judge themselves according to what others think, which allows them to live according to their guiding principles and believe in themselves wholeheartedly.
6. ‘I know my worth’
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A phrase truly confident people often say is, “I know my worth.” They refuse to change who they are to fit in with the popular crowd, because they have a strong sense of their own self-worth. They don’t tolerate being treated with disrespect. They don’t hesitate to leave relationships that drag them down. They know that they deserve compassion, love, and fulfillment, and they use their self-worth as guiding light to reach what they want in life.
Life and transformation coach Lisa Petsinis shares that, “Feeling good about yourself means recognizing your value.” While it might feel uncomfortable to announce your own inherent worthiness, Petsinis advises people to “take stock of what you bring to your relationships, work, and community. Everyone has a unique set of talents they bring to each situation. Find your gifts and honor your contributions.”
“You deserve to shine,” she continues. “Surround yourself with positive people who encourage you and lift you.”
“To be happy, you need to fall in love with yourself. That means intentionally focusing on self-care and bringing more joy to every day,” Petsinis concludes.
Knowing your own worth is part of being truly confident, which is why truly confident people openly declare just how worthy they are.
7. ‘I need help’
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Another phrase truly confident people often say is, “I need help.” They’re not scared to admit that they could use some extra support, because they know that needing help is part of being human.
Psychological research has proven that even though asking for help feels difficult, most people actually want to help others out. Stanford University social psychologist Xuan Zhao explains some reasons people may avoid asking for help, saying, “Some people may fear that asking for help would make them appear incompetent, weak, or inferior… Some people are concerned about being rejected, which can be embarrassing and painful. Others may be concerned about burdening and inconveniencing others.”
“These concerns may feel more relevant in some contexts than others, but they are all very relatable and very human,” she continues. “The good news is those concerns are oftentimes exaggerated and mistaken.”
Zhao explaines that people in need are “often caught up in their own concerns and worries and do not fully recognize the prosocial motivations of those around them who are ready to help.”
In her research, Zhao “consistently observed that help-seekers underestimated how willing strangers — and even friends — would be to help them and how positive helpers would feel afterward, and overestimated how inconvenienced helpers would feel.”
She explains that asking for help is the best way to get it, even if asking feels scary or uncomfortable.
“People want to help, but they can’t help if they don’t know someone is suffering or struggling, or what the other person needs and how to help effectively, or whether it is their place to help,” she says. “A direct request can remove those uncertainties, such that asking for help enables kindness… It can also create emotional closeness when you realize someone trusts you enough to share their vulnerabilities.”
8. ‘I want other people to succeed’
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Truly confident people often say the phrase, “I want other people to succeed,” because they’re fully aware that when other people win, they do, too. They know that success isn’t a zero sum game. They don’t fall into the detrimental trap of comparing themselves to others. They focus on collaboration, which lets them celebrate other people’s accomplishments.
A study on confidence published in Frontiers in Psychology notes that there are different kinds of confidence that affect how people see themselves. Cognitive confidence is the level of trust a person has in their memory, attention, and perception, all of which influence how intelligent they are. Social confidence refers to how comfortable someone is in social situations and how successfully they can interact with others.
The results of the study showed that high self-reported confidence was linked to emotional stability. The connection between having confidence and being emotionally stable is highlighted by truly confident people’s desire to see other people succeed. Their emotional stability allows for them to find joy in achievements that have nothing to do with them.
Truly confident people don’t measure their worth through external factors, meaning they don’t define themselves by their jobs or economic status. They genuinely want the people around them to succeed. They leverage their own success to help others find success. When they climb the corporate ladder, they lift others up after them, because they know that communal victories make the world a better place.
9. ‘I can’t take on more work right now’
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Another phrase truly confident people say often is, “I can’t take on more work right now” when they’re feeling overextended. They’re self-assured enough to set boundaries without worrying that they’re disappointing people. They know that taking on more work than they can handle leads to extreme burnout, which can damage their career in the long run.
Their innate confidence lets them know their limits. They see boundaries as a way to take care of themselves. If their boss asks them to answer emails over the weekend or head up a project they don’t have time for, they calmly and firmly reinforce their boundaries around work and say, “I can’t take that on right now.”
Truly confident people honor their needs by saying what they will and won’t do, an act that protects their inner peace.
10. ‘I’m responsible for my own happiness’
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Truly confident people often say, “I’m responsible for my own happiness.” They have high emotional intelligence, so they don’t expect others to manage their feelings, good or bad. Truly confident people know that how they feel belongs to themselves.
Having confidence gives them the skills they need to emotionally regulate themselves. They experience their full range of feelings without putting any pressure on themselves to “just get over it.” Truly confident people sit with their emotions, knowing that no feeling lasts forever.
If a truly confident person isn’t happy, they look within themselves and examine why. Being confident gives them the inner strength they need to get through emotional low points, along with the lasting hope that they’ll feel better in time.
11. ‘I care about my future’
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Another phrase truly confident people say is, “I care about my future.” They take full ownership over their own lives and don’t expect to be handed good things just because they want them. They know that it’s up to them to harness their strengths and work toward their goals.
During an interview with the British Psychological Society, Trinity College Dublin psychology professor Ian Robertson notes that structural inequality shapes who has confidence and who doesn’t.
In his book, “How Confidence Works,” Robertson writes that confidence is “a bridge to the future.” He claims that confidence is “at the core of what makes things happen.”
“Confidence is the most valuable resource a person can have because it empowers action, which in turn yields success, causing mood-enhancing and anxiety-diminishing brain changes,” he explains. “It also provides status and influence, and with these come monetary and institutional power.”
“Sex, race, class and age all shape confidence enormously, and if you are on the losing side of any of these categories, you will have no difficulty identifying under-confidence as a major issue for many millions of people.”
Many people who hold traditionally powerful roles are actually over-confident, meaning that they aren't as capable as they believe. They wield their confidence like a weapon, designed to hold others down, so they can stay on top.
“Overconfidence can give you status in the eyes of others,” Robertson says. “And with that position comes power.”
Overconfident people believe they’re superior to others and therefore, more deserving of material rewards. They see the world as theirs for the taking, without considering other people’s well-being. In contrast, a truly confident person knows their future successes connect them to the larger world. They take that responsibility seriously and they care deeply about the path their life takes.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a staff writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.