6 Happiness Hacks That Will Dramatically Change Your Life, According To Psychology
Stop trying and start enjoying life again.
With all the advice on how to be happy, why are so many people still unhappy? Years of unlearning have taught me that opportunity exists in the path least traveled. To find success, follow the crowd … and then do the opposite. The same applies to happiness advice.
Here are 6 happiness hacks that will dramatically change your life, according to psychology:
1. Stop chasing happiness
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Chasing happiness does one thing better than anything else: It emphasizes the fact you aren’t happy yet. We’re unhappy because we made happiness conditional.
‘I’ll be happy when I get to $10k per month.’
‘I’ll be happy when I find a partner who loves me.’
Don’t stop pursuing nice things. But don’t make your happiness dependent on a future external event. Realize you have all the happiness you need right now, right where you are. There is no alternative.
The idea that pursuing happiness can make people less happy is known as the "happiness paradox." Focusing on what you don't have can lead to dissatisfaction and frustration, research found.
2. Master the art of not trying
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Life is uncertain and often makes it seem like we need to adopt clever strategies to ‘beat the uncertainty.’ For example, if we have to give a presentation at work, we’re worried about doing poorly. So we compensate for our ‘lack of preparedness’ by adopting various mindset tricks like ‘faking it till you make it,’ ‘focus on the audience’ or ‘make eye contact to seem more dominant,’ or all three.
This is all about trying. Trying to be more effective. Trying to succeed. And it’s overwhelming. Ironically, all of this thinking causes us more anxiety, affecting the quality of our presentation. Prepare, yes. But when you step into the reality of life, work, and creativity, let it all go.
Don’t try. Just find a way to relax and enjoy yourself. Everything you need will be there for you in the form of insights from a deeper place.
Our excessive focus in the modern world on the power of conscious thought and the benefits of willpower and self-control causes us to overlook the pervasive importance of what might be called “body thinking”: tacit, fast, and semiautomatic behavior that flows from the unconscious with little or no conscious interference.
The result is that we too often devote ourselves to pushing harder or moving faster in areas of our lives where effort and striving are, in fact, profoundly counterproductive, a professor of Asian Studies and Embodied Cognition at the University of British Columbia and a renowned scholar of Chinese thought found.
3. Reconnect with your inner playful child
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Hacking the connection with your inner child is the new ‘growing up.’ As we become adults, we transition away from childhood and begin taking life more seriously. But joy and limitless creative exploration can be found through a more playful approach to life.
It’s not about becoming childish. It’s about tapping into the part of us that was obvious and effortless to us as children. Take life lightly, in the spirit of play, no matter the situation, and you will experience default happiness.
A 2016 study published by the National Library of Medicine found that the inner child is present throughout life and can be a source of development or interference. The study also found that the inner child can be visible in both positive and negative experiences and that the inner child can help turn bad experiences into good ones.
4. Cultivate joyful incompetence
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Producing quality work is essential. Poor service is a problem. I’m the first to encourage total pride in your work and output. But most of us misinterpret this to mean striving for perfection. There is no such thing as perfect.
As such, when we try to be perfect and avoid making mistakes, we turn what should be a freeing and creative process into a self-destructive and high-pressure nightmare. Be willing to explore the part of the process that allows you to do poorly. Now you’re off the hook. The pressure has gone, which will lead to your best work.
Perfectionism is rising, especially in younger individuals. A study conducted between 1989 and 2016 found that levels of perfectionism in college students “increased by statistically significant amounts” and that perfectionism caused by societal pressure increased at twice the rate. They may have a fear of failure and believe that they can avoid it by being perfect.
Or they may need to meet unrealistic expectations in a world of curated, seemingly “perfect” lives on social media. But whatever the cause, perfectionism isn’t a healthy way to approach the world, as stated in research from Harvard University.
5. Harness the power of ‘selective apathy’
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Create a list of all the things you — from now on — refuse to take seriously anymore. We can add many things to this list that are currently making life seem more complicated than it needs to be. Selective apathy is a healthy approach to life in which you choose to let go of those things that create stress that is not in your control.
Feel bad about someone trolling one of your online posts? Selective apathy. Time for strategic indifference. You happily let those things go. It’s time to move on and keep creating.
In psychology, selective apathy can be a way to redirect emotional resources to meaningful concerns. 2021 research confirmed that apathy can also help people understand what's causing their stress and anxiety and how to avoid it.
6. Transmute anxiety into excitement
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Instead of sticking your fingers in your ears and blocking out anxiety until you’re blue in the face, how about performing mental jiu-jitsu on your fears and worries? What if your anxiety was excitement?
This is true. It’s not theory. Why? Because every negative feeling you have is what you feel when you place negative judgment on energy running through your body. It’s all about perspective. How you think is how you feel. The two are interconnected.
The moment you realize your fears are excitements is the moment those fears fade. Are you ready to be a happiness hacker?
In psychology, the process of turning anxiety into excitement is called "anxiety reappraisal." The American Psychological Association explains that it's based on the idea that anxiety and excitement are both high-arousal emotions with similar symptoms, so it's easier to transition between them than to calm down.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient.