8 Signs You Were Raised By Unconditional Parents Who Always Had Your Best Interests At Heart
Unconditional love from your parents is worth everything.
NDAB Creativity | Shutterstock Your parents are expected to provide practical and emotional support in a way that both fosters your independence and teaches you how to reach out and ask for help. This crucial balance allows you to develop secure attachments in adulthood because you were raised by unconditional parents who always had your best interests at heart.
No one is perfect, so parents are bound to make mistakes that can cause harm. Yet, if they build their parenting style on a foundation of unconditional love, support, and respect, their kids will likely become emotionally stable and prosperous adults.
Here are 8 signs you were raised by unconditional parents who always had your best interests at heart:
1. You’re comfortable being yourself.
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A significant sign you were raised by unconditional parents who always had your best interests at heart is that you’re entirely comfortable being your most authentic self. You don’t feel any need to shrink down your personality because your parents accepted you for exactly who you were throughout your childhood and adolescence. Their unconditional acceptance gave you the emotional resilience needed to become an adult who believes in your innate self-worth.
Showing up as the authentic version of yourself isn’t always easy, especially when you’re given the message that you’re just “too much.” If your parents modeled radical acceptance during childhood, you learned that our needs are valid and that you deserve to be loved, even with your flaws.
As a result, you don’t hide who you are. You learned to love yourself fully because you were raised by unconditional parents who always had your best interests at heart.
2. You’re adaptable.
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Another sign you were raised by unconditional parents who always had your best interests at heart is that you’re extremely adaptable in unfamiliar situations. Your parents encouraged you to enter new environments with your head held high. You were taught to have a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset, which gave you the skills you needed to believe that you’re capable of change and learning new things.
You learned to be adaptable because your parents provided you with unconditional, compassionate love. Unconditional love can be defined as “Caring about the happiness of another person without any concern for how it benefits you.” Part of providing unconditional love involves setting clear boundaries, which helps children learn how to set boundaries as they grow up. Maintaining boundaries is crucial to functioning well in unknown territories, as boundaries offer you a solid sense of your limits and how you expect to be treated.
3. You have a healthy view of failure.
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If you were raised by unconditional parents who always had your best interests at heart, they weren’t overly critical of you when you made mistakes. Instead, they treated those moments as learning experiences, which taught you how to see failure in a healthy light.
Because your parents didn’t base their love on your achievements, you understood that your value and worth weren’t tied to your productivity. You were allowed to be wrong without your parents judging you. As a result, you view mistakes as moments where you did something wrong rather than the definition of who you are.
You’re not scared to try new things or fail because you know that making mistakes is part of the human experience. Your parents' unconditional love and support showed you that failing isn’t the end of the world but rather a normal part of life, especially when you’re doing something you’ve never done before.
4. You have kind inner dialogue.
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Another sign you were raised by unconditional parents who always had your best interests at heart is that you practice positive self-talk. Your inner voice is gentle and compassionate because that’s how your parents spoke to you when you were young. You treat yourself like you love yourself because your parents taught you as much.
Your kind inner dialogue reflects your parents’ positive reinforcement and the affirmations they gave you throughout your childhood. You know that perfection is an unattainable myth and that trying your hardest with the tools you have is more than good enough. You internalized the unconditional love and support your parents showed you, which helped you become the well-adjusted person you are now.
5. You’re not afraid to be vulnerable.
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Being vulnerable and sharing your inner world isn’t an easy process, yet being raised by unconditional parents who always had your best interests at heart lays the groundwork you need to be open about your emotions. Your parents modeled vulnerability by letting you feel all your feelings, even the harder, messier ones. They showed you how to name your feelings and process them.
Because your parents raised you in a loving environment where your needs were considered valid and expressing your emotions was accepted, you learned to be vulnerable at a young age. You know that vulnerability is the key to intimacy and that the only way to keep close relationships is to let yourself open up and share your innermost feelings, even when they scare you.
6. You practice open communication.
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Another sign you were raised by unconditional parents who always had your best interests at heart is that you were brought up in an environment that valued having open and direct communication. You don’t shy away from sharing your opinions or voicing your concerns because you were taught to believe in speaking up for yourself.
As an adult, practicing open communication allows you to advocate for yourself in a professional realm and develop truly close bonds in your personal life. You know that speaking your mind isn’t always easy or welcome, but you remain true to yourself by doing so.
7. You have high self-esteem.
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Growing up with unconditional parents who always had your best interests at heart gave you confidence and a high sense of self-worth. Your parents told you that you were valued and supported no matter what, which allowed you to believe in yourself first and foremost.
In psychology, unconditional positive regard is “An attitude of caring, acceptance, and prizing that others express toward an individual irrespective of their behavior and without regard to the others’ personal standards.”
According to psychologist Carl Rogers, unconditional positive regard helps build people’s self-awareness, self-worth, and personality growth, as it’s “a universal human need essential to healthy development.”
Because your parents accepted and loved you as you were then and as you are now, you grew into someone who fully believes in yourself and knows that you are deserving of love, respect, and care. Your high self-esteem lets you take on challenges and show resilience in the face of hardships, all because your unconditional parents always had your best interests at heart.
8. You’re empathic.
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Having unconditional parents who always had your best interests at heart taught you a baseline of empathy that supports your relationships in adulthood. You show deep compassion and understanding for other people’s feelings, a behavior that mirrors the empathy your parents showed you in childhood.
As licensed marriage and family therapist Virginia Gilbert shared, parents relate to us in childhood, how they “meet our needs, mirror our feelings, validate our experience—shape our neural pathways and our ability to regulate our own emotions.”
“If your parents fed you when you were hungry, soothed you when you were upset, smiled when you smiled, and were reliable most of the time, then you learned how to regulate your nervous system,” Gilbert explained.
“You grew up feeling like the world was a safe place and expected relationships to be a safe harbor,” she concluded.
Because your parents showed up for you in both a practical and emotional sense, you developed the distinct ability to connect to other people, and you’ve been able to rely on your high emotional intelligence to guide you through life.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis, and the entertainment industry.