10 Phrases People Use When They're Self-Absorbed And Only Care About Themselves
There's a fine line between self-aware and self-absorbed.
SofikoS | Shutterstock Having a strong sense of self-awareness is a good thing, as it signifies you know your own worth and set firm boundaries on how you want to be treated. Yet if you let the pendulum swing too far, it's easy to go from being self-aware to self-absorbed.
Being self-absorbed means that a person is so preoccupied with their own needs that they lose perspective on the fact that other people have valid needs, too. And the phrases people use when they're self-absorbed are incredibly off-putting to others.
People who are self-absorbed tend to always put themselves first. They believe they're more important than anyone else, and they don't shy away from letting others know just how important they are.
Here are 10 phrases people use when they're self-absorbed and only care about themselves
1. 'I deserve the best'
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Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and care, which are part of the fundamentals of being human. Yet there's a difference between expecting basic consideration and expecting that others drop everything to meet your needs.
Self-centered people who only care about themselves often use the phrase "I deserve the best" to convey their expectations for preferential treatment. They often have a superiority complex, which means they hold themselves above other people. They believe that people should bend over backwards for them, making them very entitled people.
Entitlement is a learned behavior that parents often teach their children without realizing it. Setting boundaries is an important first step for parents who want to instill a sense of humility in their kids, or else they run the risk of their kids turning into adults who believe they deserve the best, at the expense of other people.
2. 'Enough about you, let's talk about me'
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Another phrase people use when they're self-absorbed and only care about themselves is the phrase "Enough about you, let's talk about me." While this is often said with a joking tone, it signifies that the person saying it cares less about other people than they do about themselves. They probably aren't good listeners, and are instead waiting for you to finish talking so they can jump into the spotlight.
The American Psychiatric Association noted that being excessively self-centered can be an indication of having a personality disorder, which they define as "long-term patterns of behavior and inner experiences that differ significantly from what is expected." Personality disorders affect the way someone thinks about themselves and others, how they respond emotionally, how they relate to others, and the way they control their behavior.
The APA explained that a histrionic personality disorder shows itself as "a pattern of excessive emotion and attention-seeking." Someone with a histrionic personality disorder usually makes themselves the center of attention by relating everything back to their own experience.
It can be hard to maintain a close relationship with someone who doesn't listen, as they take up excessive amounts of your emotional energy with their own issues.
3. 'Everyone else is just jealous'
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The phrase "Everyone else is just jealous" shows a level of self-absorption people have when they only care about themselves. People who say this phrase think of themselves according to their own very high standards, yet they lose sight of the fact that just because they put themselves on a pedestal doesn't mean that everyone else does.
A self-absorbed person usually has an over-exaggerated sense of self, which means they have a big ego. They genuinely think that other people look up to them in a way that indicates those people are jealous of everything that the self-centered person bases their identity around.
4. 'I don't have time for other people's problems'
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The phrase "I don't have time for other people's problems" is usually used by self-absorbed people who only care about themselves. It signifies that someone has a mindset focused entirely on their own sense of self-importance. It also highlights that someone has a lack of empathy for other people around them.
Saying, "I don't have time for other people's problems" is essentially saying, "I don't care about anyone but myself." They think their own issues take precedence over anyone else's, which shows that they don't know how to practice gratitude. It's also a sign that a person doesn't have any empathy.
While a person who has empathy can see the world from a different perspective, a person without empathy can only see their own perspective, which makes them go through life putting themselves before others.
5. 'I'm always right'
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Self-absorbed people tend to believe that their opinion is always right, which makes them think in rigid terms. They often say that they're always right, because their outsized ego doesn't allow for them to make any mistakes. If they do make mistakes, they don't have enough humility to apologize for doing something wrong.
While there are various reasons for someone to be self-absorbed, the Berkeley Well-Being Institute explained that low self-esteem is a root cause of being self-centered. Because they have such a low sense of self-worth, they require outside validation and attention to boost their confidence. This can mean they also have an inability or unwillingness to admit that they're not always right, as they have to believe they're right to make themselves feel better about who they are.
6. 'My success speaks for itself'
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You can probably picture this phrase coming from the mouth of a toxic boss or an ineffective manager who wields their power over other people. The phrase "My success speaks for itself" is a self-absorbed statement that people say when they want to show off.
It's one thing to have a healthy, balanced amount of pride for a job well done, and it's something else entirely to say that your success speaks for itself. People who say this phrase are giving themselves an ego-boost, as they believe they're better than the people around them.
They might view success according to a solely materialistic definition. They think that wearing expensive clothes and owning the most cutting-edge technology puts them at a level above other people. These types of self-absorbed people lack a sense of humility, and they're often not as intelligent as they pretend to be.
7. 'I don't need anyone's approval but my own'
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Being the most authentic version of yourself is an indication that you have a healthy sense of self-worth, but saying the phrase "I don't need anyone's approval but my own" is often a sign that someone has crossed over the line from authenticity to self-absorption.
While a person shouldn't rely on what other people think of them as a defining measure of how they act, it's important to be considerate and reflect on how their behavior affects the people around them. If someone uses the phrase "I don't need anyone else's approval but my own," chances are they're planning on steam-rolling someone else's decision to do whatever they want, without regard for anyone else's feelings or emotional reactions.
8. 'As long as I'm happy, nothing else matters'
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Someone's level of happiness is best determined by personal factors, which often includes tending to your own needs before anyone else's. Yet showing up for other people creates an extended sense of happiness, while centering your own needs causes a much more fleeting form of happiness.
According to a 2017 psychological study, self-centeredness was "positively and significantly related to fluctuating happiness," while "selflessness was positively and significantly related to authentic–durable happiness." In other words, putting yourself first might make you feel happy in the short term, but taking other people into consideration makes you happier over the long term.
Someone who says, "As long as I'm happy, nothing else matters" most likely thinks their own needs hold more value than other people's, which puts them in the position of ignoring the people around them, as they focus only on themselves.
9. 'I always get my way'
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Another phrase people use when they're self-absorbed and only care about themselves is "I always get my way." This means that they center their own opinions and beliefs, which translates into them being an ungrateful friend or a coworker who's really hard to work with.
As licensed marriage and family therapist Lianne Avila revealed, thinking you're always right means that you don't know how to compromise. She noted that this mindset can have detrimental effects on a relationship because it creates the "I win, you/we lose" scenario.
"Both people in the relationship need to feel equal," she explained. "When you don't feel equal, you will grow apart."
10. 'People should listen to me more'
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Someone who says the phrase "People should listen to me more" is showing how little they respect other people's beliefs and how deeply self-absorbed they are. This phrase indicates a complete lack of consideration for other people's perspectives, which is often a sign of having low intelligence. Someone who's unable or unwilling to consider differences of opinion is shining a direct spotlight onto their extreme intolerance and the fact that they only care about themselves.
Listening is much more about giving than it is about taking, in that it requires someone to stay quiet and not always voice their opinion. Yet a person who's self-absorbed and only cares about themselves is likely to take up more space than they provide, which means they think everyone should listen to them and do as they say.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.