10 Signs You Were Raised By Emotionally Mature Parents Who Had Your Best Interests At Heart
Your parents were - and still are! - your biggest fans.
PeopleImages.Com - Yuri A | Shutterstock A large portion of your development involves how you were raised. Did your parents dish out punishments? Were they strict? Did they nourish you and your siblings properly?
There are certain signs you were raised by emotionally mature parents who have your best interests at heart, and their love and support likely guided you through life. Their actions affected you and played a big part in how you see the world.
However, many people were silent bystanders in their journey through childhood and adolescence. They may have had immature parents who taught them to put up walls and distance themselves. Fortunately for you, your upbringing was the opposite.
Here are 10 signs you were raised by emotionally mature parents who had your best interests at heart
1. They allowed you to speak openly without fear
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No person develops the ability to speak their mind overnight. For most, speaking openly without fear of judgment begins during childhood.
If you were raised by emotionally mature parents, speaking frankly seems like a walk in the park. Your parents probably sat you down at a young age to have constructive conversations, during which they used phrases like, "It's okay, I won't be offended" to ease your mind. They wanted you to develop confidence and find your voice.
As an adult, you're unafraid to stand up for yourself and others. You don't back down when someone tries to intimidate you or treat you unfairly. Instead, you speak your mind calmly and respectfully, just like your emotionally mature parents taught you to.
2. They validated your feelings
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their child’s best interests at heart, they instilled a mentality that expressing emotions is the key to happiness and health. Feeling free to be yourself, you might have found yourself opening up to your parents and learning the value of honesty.
Not being raised to be a people-pleaser, you don't care how others might take your opinions or emotions. You were taught that all feelings mattered, no matter how insignificant they may seem.
Research from Developmental Science says this is a good thing, as emotional validation is vital for children's development and growth. Researchers determined that emotional validation does a better job of soothing children and creates more persistent children in the process. On the flip side, invalidation leads to negative emotions like distress and loneliness due to children being forced to suppress their emotions, which leads to them bottling them up.
Because you had emotionally mature parents growing up, you never had to worry about suppressing your emotions; rather, you freely expressed them, and continue to do so today.
3. They encouraged your individuality
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Another sign that you were raised by emotionally mature parents who had your best interests at heart is that they encouraged you to explore yourself and your interests. If you were raised in an emotionally safe environment, you likely grew up feeling comfortable exploring who you were.
As a child, your individuality was respected and your parents always encouraged you to explore activities like creative art or music. This type of encouragement led you to develop a strong sense of self, as you began to learn your likes and dislikes.
Having a deep sense of self will lead to developing meaning in life, according to research from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. This creates happiness, as you develop a strong sense of purpose that will carry you through dark times.
4. They taught you how to set and honor boundaries
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Setting healthy boundaries is one of the many signs you were raised by emotionally mature parents who had your best interests at heart. Growing up, you likely felt the need to assert your boundaries to others. In relationships or friendships, you made it clear what you were and weren't comfortable with.
Because you had respectful and caring parents, you were taught that others should honor those boundaries. Instead of constantly disrespecting your boundaries, your parents instilled in you the idea that healthy boundaries were necessary for keeping your mental health strong.
As an adult, you set and honor your boundaries, and don't negotiate with people who cross your boundaries. It's helped you become a more assertive person overall.
5. They took a genuine interest in helping you solve problems
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Having people who took a real interest in helping you solve problems is another sign you were raised by emotionally mature parents. If you came home crying, your parents were the first to ask what was wrong and come up with a solution. The care they showed helped you trust them, allowing you to develop and strengthen your relationship.
Unfortunately, for many kids growing up, their parents didn't spend enough time with them and had no interest in helping them navigate the ups and downs of daily life. Research from Pew Research Center found that four in 10 mothers admitted that they spend too little time with their children, while half of fathers said the same.
Luckily, kids raised by emotionally mature parents will always be a priority, even when they become adults.
6. They took accountability for their mistakes
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It's likely your parents messed up from time to time. After all, parenting is rife with trial and error. Maybe your parents screamed at you or punished you for a small mishap. But the way they reacted afterward showed their maturity and ability to take accountability for their actions.
Being raised in an environment where parents said "I'm sorry" creates adults who are able to take responsibility for their errors and make things right. Relationships depend on emotional maturity to keep things steady.
While taking accountability is far from easy to adapt to, having parents who set an example is a great way to start learning.
7. They never withheld affection
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Being raised in a safe household where affection was encouraged is another of the signs you were raised by emotionally mature parents who had your best interests at heart.
If your partners were upset with you, they never called you names or said damaging phrases like "I hate you" or "You're a disappointment." Instead, they hugged you and reassured you that your mistakes would never change their love for you.
Children need constant reassurance during their developmental stages. They need to know that their mistakes don't make them less lovable. Research from the journal iScience found that hugs from parents had a calming effect on infants, compared to female strangers, suggesting that the parent-child bond through affection truly is important for development.
As an adult, your parents likely have a similar kind of affection with you, offering hugs and kisses whenever you visit. They don't punish you by withholding their attention or affection, which has likely carried over into your relationships.
8. They pushed you to prioritize self-care
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Most people don't know how to put themselves first because their parents never taught them how. Because of this, they wear down their mental and physical health if it means getting ahead or becoming successful.
Emotionally mature parents who raised healthy, functioning kids know differently. They taught their children that although success is important, so is mental health. Because you were raised by emotionally mature parents, they encouraged you to take as many breaks as possible in between study sessions or training. To them, your mental well-being was a priority, and likely still is.
A research article in PLOS One determined that taking short breaks positively impacts well-being by increasing people's vigor and decreasing fatigue. People who take longer breaks also benefit from performance improvement. Now that you're an adult, you make it a point to put your self-care first.
9. They set realistic goals and expectations
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Strict, perfectionist parents can end up creating adults who are chronically stressed or have trouble expressing emotions. But one of the signs you were raised by emotionally mature parents is that they set realistic goals for you, and didn't have impossible-to-reach expectations.
Your parents understood that you're not a superhero and had needs of your own. They may have sat down with you and set achievable goals, and asked you to weigh in to determine if the goals were reasonable. If they weren't, your parents had no issue with finding ways to meet in the middle.
As an adult, you set realistic expectations for yourself. You don't punish yourself when you can't finish your accomplishments; rather, you give yourself credit for the things you do achieve.
10. They encouraged you to be a free-thinker
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If you were raised by emotionally mature parents, they wanted you to be an independent free-thinker. They may have bought you books or encouraged you to do your own research. They had your best interests at heart, so they wanted you to be firm in your beliefs in the face of adversity.
Rather than raising you to abide by their own personal beliefs, your parents encouraged you to form your own ideas and opinions about how the world works. And today, as an adult, you hold that same mindset that you're never too old to learn new things about your surroundings.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.