Nurse And Mom Says It’s Time To Normalize Not Being Responsible For The Family’s Needs After Working Long Shifts
What can you expect from someone working 12-hour shifts helping people all day?
dragana991 | Canva Pro If you’re a nurse, you know just how draining the profession can leave you feeling when working long hours regularly. After spending your whole shift catering to the needs of sick patients, the last thing you want to do at the end of the day is worry about anyone else’s needs.
If being a nurse without the responsibility of having any kids is exhausting, imagine how the nurses with kids might feel. One woman with personal experience wants to remind all the busy nurse moms out there to cut themselves some slack.
A nurse and mom of three kids says it’s time to normalize moms needing rest after a long shift.
The nurse, Chelsey Gobbo, filmed the video as she sat in her car for a break. Gobbo shared that she saw another nurse post on TikTok about how she couldn’t possibly imagine having kids to take care of and cooking and cleaning to do after working a 12-hour shift. And the nurse raised a common concern for many working women with kids and families.
“Coming from someone that works 12-hour shifts [and] has three children, I don’t do any of those things,” Gobbo revealed candidly. “I’m completely worthless. I go home. I shower. I get my comfy clothes on.”
The nurse explained that her mental and physical energy is spent at the end of a long workday.
She expressed how she feels incapable of thinking or doing anything that requires more effort than lying in bed, and she argued how any mom working 12-hour shifts shouldn’t feel ashamed for this.
Of course, it’s imperative to ensure your kids' needs are taken care of for the day, whether by your partner, co-parent, or a family member. But these moms should not feel like they’re expected to do anything beyond what they can handle after working for 12 hours straight.
Despite their demanding work lives, nurses are still humans who need time to recharge and rest after a long day of work, like anyone else.
Contrary to popular belief, full-time and working moms shouldn’t be expected to maintain childcare and household responsibilities all on their own.
A support system is essential for these moms to meet their kids’ and their own needs.
The nurse argued that any working moms who aren’t able to maintain a regular night routine with their kids after a workday are ‘normal.’
“If my house is a disaster, I just look at it,” Gobbo said. “I have no more brain capacity, and my family pretty much knows this about me by now. After I work a full day, I’m absolutely wiped, mentally and physically.”
Gobbo acknowledged that moms who can manage to take care of their families after working overtime are “amazing,” and some might say they’re superheroes. But she also recognized that the moms who struggle to do it on their own and get help from their support systems are “normal” and should respect their needs as well.
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"Hopefully, this video helps women normalize going home and not feeling like you have to be responsible for everything because you don't, and it's OK," Gobbo said.
You only have so much energy to give out, especially in a people-centric health profession like nursing. You can’t pour yourself into others with an empty cup or else you’ll find yourself irrevocably disassociated in the long term, so remember to prioritize your self-care. If you can only offer your family your undivided attention on your days off, that’s OK. Give yourself some grace for your hard work.
The nurse advocated for the plight of moms in the nursing profession who are doing their best.
“If you’ve never worked a 12-hour shift helping people, helping sick people that are complaining or whining … it takes so much brain power, so much concentration, so much attention to detail, that after you leave, you just are mentally wiped,” Gobbo expressed.
Nursing is arguably one of the most stressful careers to consider. In fact, a recent survey found that 90% of nurses want to leave the profession because it can lead to high stress and burnout easily. Working a profession that involves helping others can be fulfilling, but it can also leave you without enough energy for yourself or your family at the end of the day.
She clarified how she wasn’t trying to demean anyone else’s profession. Rather, she aimed to make a point about just how challenging it is for nurses to focus on anything in their personal lives when needing to work 12 hours at a time helping others. While this can certainly take a toll on their families, nursing is one of the most essential fields, as it involves directly working with sick and injured individuals. Without them, our world would be lost.
In the same vein, parents involved in other draining or dangerous fields like law enforcement, therapy, or firefighting do so because of their passion for helping others.
Nurses and other healthcare professionals shouldn’t harbor guilt for feeling as though they can’t do enough for their families when they are focused on the greater good of the world.
Francesca Duarte is a writer based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, relationship, self-help and spirituality topics.