9 Signs A Person Has A Huge Ego Even Though They Try To Hide It
The signs are subtle at first, but soon become clear.
Andrii Nekrasov from Getty Images via Canva In psychology, the term "ego" refers to someone's sense of identity. The ego defines people's self-esteem, self-worth, and self-importance. It influences the way we see ourselves and our place in the world.
Having a healthy ego is foundational to a person’s self-worth. Someone with a secure ego values themselves and feels confident in their capabilities. They have a positive self-image, without being too grandiose or arrogant. In contrast, someone who has an inflated or over-exaggerated ego will have an overblown sense of self and think very highly of themselves.
While it’s usually obvious when a person is egotistical, sometimes it can show up in subtler ways. If you look closely at people’s behavior and listen to the underlying meaning in what they say, you'll notice the signs that a person has a huge ego, even though they try to hide it.
Here are 9 signs a person has a huge ego even though they try to hide it
1. They humblebrag
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Anyone with an Instagram knows what humblebragging is, like when your friend from college posts selfies from her vacation in Europe, along with the caption, "I'm such a mess right now, I've barely slept since arriving in Paris!"
When a person humblebrags, they try to appear modest or self-effacing, but really, they're letting you know how great they are. They're showing off without explicitly showing off. Humblebragging is a form of false humility, and it's a sign that a person has a huge ego, even though they try to hide it.
Maybe you have a co-worker who says they had no idea the CEO would love their presentation so much, since they were so nervous and unprepared. Or maybe they tell you that they don't deserve the bonus they received; after all, their salary is already through the roof.
Humblebragging is a way for people to emphasize their successes while acting modest. It gives them a boost of confidence while making it seem like they don't care. But they actually care a lot.
A person who has a huge ego might try to hide it, but usually, they'll take any opportunity to make themselves seem better than everyone else. While it might seem counterintuitive, having a huge ego is often rooted in insecurity. Someone with a huge ego might come off as highly self-assured, but they're usually overcompensating for their feelings of inadequacy.
2. They compare themselves to others
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Constantly comparing oneself to others is another sign that a person has a huge ego, even though they try to hide it.
Comparison is a natural human tendency, but it can often have a negative impact on someone's self worth. Comparison culture is a pervasive social practice of habitually measuring who you are and what you have against other people in a way that makes you feel like you aren't enough.
You might ask yourself why your neighbor has a Mercedes parked in the driveway while your car is 10 years old with a broken radio and a dented bumper. You might compare yourself to other parents and berate yourself for not baking homemade cupcakes for your kid's birthday.
Yet when a person who has a huge ego compares themselves to others, they almost always come out on top. They define their self-worth based on external factors, like how much money they make or how attractive they are.
They focus less on cultivating their own values and more on the way they're perceived by other people. As a result, they're usually highly competitive.
If someone presents what they perceive as a threat, like a colleague who's up for the same promotion or a friend who's being showered with compliments at a party, a person with a huge ego will be quick to assess all the ways that they're superior, and they'll likely let everyone know.
3. They don't own their mistakes
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Another sign that a person has a huge ego, even though they try to hide it, shows up in how they react to being told they're wrong.
A person with a healthy ego knows that being wrong isn't a judgment call on who they are as a person. But a person who has a huge ego will get defensive and double-down on just how right they are, even when it's obvious that they're not. They can't handle criticism, even over minor issues, because their sense of self centers around being seen as perfect.
They don't hold themselves accountable for their mistakes, and instead cast blame outward to find someone else at fault. If they are forced to apologize, they rarely ever say they're sorry. Instead, they deflect and offer a non-apology, saying something like, "I'm sorry you feel that way."
People with huge egos aren't willing or able to show vulnerability. They need to keep up a facade of perfection, so they rarely ever ask for help, even when they need it.
4. They take credit when they haven't earned it
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Most adults who have been in the workforce for a while have come across their fair share of co-workers with annoying habits. From rumor mills and office gossips, to incompetent managers who hold meetings that could have been emails, going to work also involves navigating social landmines. Yet of all the bad behaviors an employee could take part in, the worst is when people take credit for something they haven't done.
A person who has a huge ego will gladly accept praise they haven't earned. They'll say they spearheaded a successful project or thought of the brilliant solution the CEO loved, even when those accomplishments were team efforts. They might even take center stage at meetings and share ideas other people came up with, claiming credit when it's not theirs to take.
They position themselves to seem like a stand-out player, even when it means throwing their teammates under the bus. A person who has a huge ego relies on outside opinions to feel good about themselves, often at the cost of hurting other people.
5. They minimize other people's accomplishments
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A person who has a huge ego but tries to hide it can't share the spotlight with anyone else. They thrive on feeling superior, so they put other people down, especially when it seems like those people are more successful than they are.
Because they need to be better than everyone else, they're quick to minimize other people's achievements.
If their little sister graduated college with honors, they'll declare that her classes weren't even that hard. If their friend tells them about a great guy they went out with, someone with a huge ego will list reasons why their boyfriend is just so perfect and amazing all the time.
They have a constant need to one-up people, because their sense of self is actually very fragile.
6. They need external validation to feel confident
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If someone needs constant reassurance or external validation to feel confident, it's a sign they have a huge ego, even though they try to hide it.
Michele Moliter, a certified professional career coach, explained that seeking external validation is a psychological trap that too many people get stuck in. She offered an alternative approach to building a strong sense of self-confidence, advising people to "Reevaluate your definition of success."
Instead of looking at things outside of yourself, Moliter suggested "prioritizing your own personal fulfillment and overall well-being" by turning inward. Examining your core values and realigning your life to fit those values is a step toward developing a healthier sense of self.
7. They act entitled
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Acting like they're the center of the universe is another sign a person has a huge ego, even though they try to hide it. They believe that their needs are more important than anyone else's.
While prioritizing yourself isn't a bad thing, a person with a huge ego is self-centered to a fault. They don't extend themselves to others unless it benefits them in some way.
Entitlement is associated with arrogance, which is often rooted in having a superiority complex. Someone who has a huge ego usually has very little compassion or empathy for other people. They tend to fall on the narcissistic side of the psychological spectrum, as having an inflated ego often means they can't see outside their own perspective.
8. They try to control conversations
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A person with a big ego needs to prove that they're better than anyone else, so they're often the loudest person in the room.
Someone with a huge ego loves to hear themselves talk. They act like they're experts on every subject and over-explain simple concepts to make themselves seem like they have unusually high intelligence.
They attempt to show their dominance in interactions by always getting the final word. They need to be right all the time, which makes effective communication hard to come by. Their oversized ego also manifests itself in having poor listening skills.
In order to truly listen and understand someone else, a person has to put their own feelings and opinions aside and stay open-minded. They have to empathize with the other person and be willing to change their perspective. A person who has a huge ego lacks the necessary compassion to hear other people and hold space for them.
Having a conversation with an egotistical person is like talking to a brick wall who thinks very highly of themselves and invalidates your experience. They don't really care about your opinion or even your feelings. They only care about themselves.
9. They name-drop
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A classic sign of having a huge ego is name-dropping: the act of announcing their social status and connections by mentioning all the influential people they know.
A person who has a huge ego will tell anyone who'll listen about their brushes with the rich and famous. They'll casually let it slip that they went to a VIP party or reference their acquaintance who also happens to be a powerful politician.
They're always trying to elevate their reputation, which is why they let you know just how important they are. It's as if they believe their proximity to someone else's fame and wealth will make them an alluring person.
They genuinely believe that name-dropping makes people respect them, yet it often does the opposite. Name-dropping doesn't help anyone win friends. It's just another sign a person has a huge ego, even though they try to hide it.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.