Boss And Co-Workers Are ‘Unhappy’ That Remote Employee Keeps Missing Scheduled In-Person Events Due To A Sick Cat
Her cat requires round-the-clock attention and medications.
Iarisa Stefanjuk | Shutterstock A woman cannot help but feel offended after her colleague and boss joked about her skipping out on company events to tend to her ailing pet cat.
Not only is the woman committed to providing her pet with the care that he needs, but she was also not anticipating having to travel since the position was initially remote.
Now, she wonders if her cat’s declining health is a legitimate reason to miss out on traveling.
The woman’s boss and co-workers are unhappy that she misses scheduled in-person events due to her sick cat.
The woman shared her dilemma on the “Ask a Manager” blog and revealed that she was hired earlier this year to work as a fully remote employee.
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However, during her first on-site visit, she learned that her colleagues from the same department as her had resigned. “Instead of being the junior member of a small remote team as I expected, I was suddenly THE team,” the woman wrote.
“The CEO told me that day that he’d want me to travel to the home office once a month, and I was still so shocked I gave a non-committal answer like, ‘Well, if it’s for something important.’ During the interviews, we had only discussed ‘some’ travel.”
On top of having to do some unanticipated traveling for work, the woman also recently took in her 16-year-old childhood cat from her aging parents.
“He was healthy, but by mid-June, he showed symptoms that last week we found out is severe and chronic pancreatitis,” the woman shared. “His treatment plan includes once-a-week injections, 2-3 times a week fluids, twice daily pills and ointments, and a lot of hand feeding all day, every day.”
The cat’s treatment plan is a two-person job that her fiancé is thankfully able to help out with, but it has made traveling for work much more difficult.
“The adjustment to remote work with my boss has been rough already, with limited communication from either side (my bad!),” she wrote. “I ducked out of a July event for the first emergency appointment and an event tomorrow due to his new treatment plan (the organization lost no money on plane tickets or hotel).”
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While the woman was able to travel for a conference in August, she claimed that things “went poorly” when she wasn’t able to attend every event on the schedule.
“This time, my boss expressed displeasure and told me to find a way to attend ‘if at all possible’ and to ‘heck, take the cat with you,’” she revealed.
“I don’t feel I can stick all of this care on my fiancé, even if either of us could do it independently.”
While attending a meeting to finalize a project, the remote worker's colleague expressed their disappointment over her not being able to attend an event the next day due to her cat’s health.
“He didn’t see a pet as a valid excuse and didn’t believe me; he wasn’t a pet person, and in the army, this would be called a ‘personal problem,’” the woman wrote.
After her colleague’s remark, the woman said she was “ruder than I should’ve been,” but she was taken aback by what he had said to her. If it would make him or her boss feel more comfortable, the woman could obtain a vet’s note detailing how important it was for her cat to follow his treatment plan.
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The woman also could not help but feel disrespected that her boss was gossiping to her colleagues about why she had been missing scheduled events. She later hopped on a phone call with her boss, who told her he was “disappointed” that she hadn’t been calling to check in with work-related events on the way to the airport.
“I also made clear later in the call that I wouldn’t be committing to travel until this cat resolves his illness or passes,” the woman added.
Still, she couldn't help but wonder if she should be putting her pet before her job.
“Is a pet’s illness a legitimate family issue to miss travel for? What do I do from here? They can’t see me working every day and want to bridge the gap through regular travel, and I can see why they thought I was on board,” she wrote.
“But I felt pressured into that existing agreement, I feel disrespected and distrusted, and I think my travel schedule is being gossiped about and potentially damaging my relationship with other co-workers.”
“If it’s a performance conversation, I’m happy to have one — but with my boss, not my co-workers.”
According to the expert, employers, sadly, do not view pets as a priority over work.
The woman’s situation was tricky for manager Alison Green to unpack and determine an ideal solution.
“You signed up for a job that was supposed to involve “some” travel, and then the needs of the job changed soon after you started. You’re entitled to say, ‘Hey, this isn’t what we agreed to when I was hired, and it’s not something I can do,’” Green advised the woman.
“At the same time, they’re allowed to decide that the needs of the job have changed and that they do need someone in your role who can travel more than what was originally discussed. That wouldn’t necessarily be fair, but it does happen sometimes.”
As for the woman’s cat, Green said that employers do not always perceive having to miss work for a sick pet as a legitimate reason. That's why a 2019 survey found that 1 in 4 pet owners has lied to their boss about missing work for their pet.
“Declining to do work travel in order to care for a pet isn’t seen the way that declining because of child care would be. If you were saying, “I’m the single parent of a toddler and can’t travel more than once or twice a year,” it would likely be going over differently,” she wrote.
“We can debate whether or not that should be the case, but it’s the reality in many offices.”
“I don’t think you can take for granted they’ll accept ‘I can’t travel at all (or much) because of my cat’ for a job that they told you from the start would involve some travel.”
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While Green empathized with the woman and noted that the situation was not her fault, she advised her to have an “air-cleaning” conversation with her boss about what the expectations were.
While every company has different policies regarding missing work or work-related events to look after a sick pet, the decision is ultimately up to the pet owner, and there are important factors to consider.
How much paid time off do you have left? Can you afford to take unpaid time off? Is it possible to hire a sitter to look after your pet while you’re at work? Does your company allow remote work? Will you ultimately get fired for how much work you’re missing to care for your pet?
It often comes down to the company culture and your ability to use existing leave policies.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.