‘Divorce Guru’ Describes The 3 Traits That Make Up The ‘Trifecta’ Of The Perfect Husband
Excitement is endearing, but it’s not what makes a marriage last.
Ground Picture | Shutterstock Perfection is an unrealistic standard, but the perfect husband or partner for you does exist, and they likely exhibit a few specific traits.
Tanya Musgrove, a self-proclaimed divorce guru on TikTok, shared a “trifecta” of three traits that she claims make up the perfect husband — one of which is entirely unexpected.
The divorce guru described 3 traits that make up the perfect husband.
A TikTok user commented on a video of Musgrove's, lamenting that she is "with someone who is good on paper" and with whom she has good chemistry. However, she finds him boring and is concerned about their future because of that.
Musgrove had an unanticipated response, declaring that the commenter had unintentionally described the trifecta of the perfect husband.
"Trust me when I tell you I have seen enough to know for sure [that] it's the boring ones that make the best husbands," she declared. "He is the one who subscribes to the idea of happy wife, happy life."
Musgrove said that the best marriages are with 'boring men.'
Misguided by fantasies of overwhelming lust and unending passion, many women get swept up into toxic relationships with exciting men. But as Musgrove pointed out, excitement is not the basis of a healthy and long-lasting marriage.
"Do you know what happens when you marry the exciting, fun, adventurous, enigmatic man?" she asked viewers. "One day, he wakes up and looks at you, and you've had a couple of kids, and he thinks, how did my life become so boring?"
She insisted that these men often grow to resent their wives and children, and "then they have a midlife crisis, and they spend all your money on a fancy car, and they run off with a 21-year-old."
A boring man, on the other hand, will be happy in a loving relationship and comfortable life for years to come. He will be satisfied with being a father and a husband. He will enjoy the day-to-day of married life and appreciate the little things that make a relationship work.
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"It means that he enjoys the idea of being with the same person every day," she added, "going to sleep with them waking up next to them."
That doesn't mean your life and relationship must lack excitement entirely. As Musgrove noted: "You can always be exciting enough for the both of you."
If you find yourself bored, there are ways to introduce excitement back into your routine, whether you schedule a weekly date night or experiment in the bedroom. Make a conscious effort to bring curiosity and adventure into your marriage.
Having chemistry and 'being good on paper' are also important.
Obviously, you shouldn't marry the first "boring" man you find. While it's an important trait, according to Musgrove, it's not the only one. Chemistry and compatibility are also important factors.
Very Well Mind describes chemistry as your connection with another person. "It's a draw to someone else that makes you want more of them," Ariane Resnick wrote.
Yet, chemistry doesn’t have to feel like you’re constantly fighting back the urge to rip each other's clothes off at every passing glance. It doesn’t have to be public displays of affection, bedtime pillow talk, or an innately sexual feeling. It can be touching hands in the grocery store, making their favorite meal, or even meeting eyes on a chaotic family holiday.
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And while a relationship with someone who sounds "good on paper" isn't always as perfect in practice, it's a great place to start. The kind of stability found from shared values and goals in a long-term relationship often helps partners to feel safe and secure.
Of course, a man's financial security and the prestige of their career shouldn't be the end-all-be-all when it comes to marriage. Healthy relationships often thrive with people who are still navigating life’s challenges and establishing their livelihoods.
Ultimately, the perfect husband is different for everyone, so you must figure out what's important for you in a relationship. Interrogate yourself, and don't expect perfection without communicating what you need to feel happy, loved, and satisfied.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories