10 Old-Fashioned Things Gen X People Refuse To Do Anymore
With age comes wisdom.
shurkin_son | Shutterstock Every generation is defined, at least in part, by the era they grew up in and the social attitudes that prevailed during their youth. Yet many people actively work to shed their generational characteristics, especially the more negative traits.
Gen Xers were born between 1965 and 1980. As young adults, they were often stereotyped as the "Slacker Generation." Now, as they enter middle age, they're shedding aspects of their generation that no longer work for them to embrace a new way of life.
Here are 10 old-fashioned things Gen X people refuse to do anymore
1. Talk on the phone
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Back in the day, if Gen Xers wanted to make plans, they had to do something that's unfathomable now: They had to pick up the phone and call their friend's house. Not only that, they had to politely greet their friend's parents and endure their questions, if their mom or dad happened to be the one to answer the phone.
The days of getting tangled in the phone cord and leaving messages on an answering machine are long gone, and Gen Xers are never going back. The invention of the cell phone brought a certain kind of freedom, and now that smartphones are literally everywhere, Gen Xers can avoid making actual phone calls as much as they want.
While talking on the phone could be seen as a lost art, a form of connection that can't be recaptured, Gen Xers are perfectly content to text and go about their day, without having to wait patiently by the landline to know if their friends want to hang out.
2. Answer the door
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Another indication of a by-gone era that Gen Xers are leaving behind is answering random knocks at their front door.
In the 70s, 80s, and 90s, it was totally common to swing by someone's house to see if they were home. Neighborhood kids roamed free, riding their bikes from one house to the next to gather their gang together.
But times have changed. Hearing a knock at the door in 2024 is no longer met with excitement, but rather, trepidation: Who could possibly be on the front porch and what do they want?
Now, a knock on the door most often means that a political canvasser wants a signature for a petition or a donation to their cause. Gen Xers know that no one just drops by anymore, so they don't answer the door unless they get a text first.
3. Use authoritarian parenting
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Making sweeping generalizations doesn't provide people much grace and every family operates in the way that works for them, yet many Gen Xers were brought up with an authoritarian parenting style.
A 2019 study delved into the four types of parenting styles established by American psychologists in the 1980s: Authoritative parenting, indulgent parenting, authoritarian parenting, and neglectful parenting. The study explained that "authoritarian parents try to shape, control, and evaluate their children's behavior based on the absolute set of standards."
The researchers noted that having authoritarian parents was associated with negative developmental outcomes. They noted that young children react to having authoritarian parents by externalizing, which includes aggression and acting out. As they grow older, they tend to internalize their emotions, leading to depression and anxiety.
Many Gen Xers made the active decision not to parent their kids in the way that they were parented.
Some went to the other extreme and relied on an indulgent parenting style, which is described as being minimally demanding but with high responsiveness. Some chose authoritative parenting, which relies on high demandingness and high responsiveness. Many parents eschewed the idea of parenting dogma altogether and parented in a way that fit their family.
Whatever style of parenting Gen Xers landed on, they looked to their own experience to inform how they wanted to show up for their kids.
4. Let their kids go unsupervised
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Gen X is known as the latch-key generation. Kids walked home alone, let themselves into an empty house, and foraged for snacks before settling down in front of the TV.
Being a latch-key kid was the norm, and it certainly had both positive and negative developmental consequences. Gen Xers were independent and self-sufficient, yet they also didn't always receive the emotional or practical support they needed.
The 2019 parenting style study reported that kids with neglectful parents often exhibited a lack of self-regulation, along with poor school and social competence.
Now that they're adults with children of their own, many Gen Xer have swung the parenting pendulum in the other direction. They're the definitive helicopter parents: Highly attentive to their kids, often to an extreme degree. They're less likely to let their kids be on their own, choosing instead to be incredibly involved in every aspect of their lives.
While there are benefits to having involved parents, there are also downsides, including struggling to form a sense of self-efficacy and feeling a lot of anxiety.
It's easy to judge someone else's parenting from afar, yet in reality, there's no perfect formula for raising kids. Most parents are doing the best they can with the tools they have, and as long as they love and support their kids, that's often enough.
5. Be hyper-independent
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Gen Xers were the ultimate DIYers. They came of age in an era of grunge music. They witnessed the birth of MTV, made 'zines, and declared themselves as wholly anti-establishment.
Having latch-key childhoods made Gen Xers deeply self-reliant, to the point where they didn't reach out for help, even when they needed it. Yet as they entered adulthood, veering closer to being solidly middle-aged, many Gen Xers are changing their ways.
They understand the need for community care and mutual aid because they lived without it. They know that being on your own leads to a sense of isolation, so they're pushing back against it. They realize no one can solve all their problems alone and that people are better together than they are apart.
6. Believe they can 'have it all'
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Another significant side-effect having Boomer parents is that Gen Xers were raised with the ethos that they could have it all. They could find a well-paying job, get the corner office, and collect all the trappings of a middle-class life.
Girls, especially, were told they could be wives and mothers and high-achieving employees, all at the same time, without having to sacrifice a thing. Yet the idea of "having it all" isn't actually sustainable, accessible, or real.
Gen Xers are more financially stable than Millennials who came up after them or any member of Gen Z, yet they also faced the harsh realization that something always has to give. As they edge closer to retirement age, studies have shown Gen Xers have less money saved for retirement than is recommended.
As a result, they emphasize having a true work-life balance. They talk openly about the challenges of being a working parent. They aim for transparency around how their professional lives and personal lives intersect.
They put into motion the mindset that having it all isn't possible, but having some is more than enough.
7. Avoid healing their trauma
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Another old-fashioned habit that Gen Xers have turned their backs on is neglecting their emotional needs.
While Boomers tend to avoid therapy and balk at the idea of "doing the work," Gen Xers show up for themselves and their families by trying to heal their wounds.
Gen Xers who go to therapy are breaking deeply entrenched generational patterns. They're walking their own path, one that paves the way for their kids to have higher levels of emotional intelligence and build their identities around self-acceptance and self-compassion.
8. Ignore their feelings
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In keeping with healing the trauma they hold, Gen Xers refuse to avoid their emotions by pretending everything's fine.
They recognize that pushing their feelings down makes them well up even stronger. They know that the key to their well-being is processing how they feel and not hiding it. By being more vulnerable than they were taught to be, they're giving themselves permission to be their fullest selves, even when it's painful.
9. Have an apathetic attitude
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Gen Xers have moved far beyond being the slacker generation by refusing to be apathetic. They're no longer defined by not caring.
They've come into their own, forming strong opinions and beliefs about society. Their political affiliations may lean toward the more conservative side of things, yet no one can accuse them of slacking off or dropping out anymore.
10. Make work their whole lives
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Gen Xers refuse to devote all of their energy to their jobs. They were taught that being ambitious and having a strong work ethic were indicators of self-worth, yet they rejected that notion and embraced the idea of work-life balance.
Many Gen Xers made their way up the corporate ladder, yet by setting clear boundaries in the workplace, they've shown that their anti-establishment mentality hasn't completely vanished.
They draw a sense of meaning and purpose from other aspects of their lives. They're fully aware that their jobs don't define them. Ultimately, Gen Xers stay true to themselves and refuse to let anyone else determine who they are.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.