The Uncomfortable Emotion Highly Intelligent People Often Experience When Starting A New Job
Stability in their jobs is centered around their ability to appease other people.
People Images Yuri A | Shutterstock.com While the average employee appreciates making a good impression when they’re starting a new job, sometimes highly intelligent new hires struggle with being the new kid on the block, so to speak.
According to nervous system coach Dana Dozzyy on TikTok, the dysregulation caused by starting a new job can manifest in highly intelligent people as shame, and that uncomfortable emotion can impact their health, wellness, and even their new job in a multitude of ways.
Highly intelligent new hires often experience a particularly uncomfortable emotion when starting a new job, and it can be difficult to overcome.
Instead of feeling secure in the learning process of being a new employee, many highly intelligent people starting new jobs feel pressured to “prove their worth,” both to other colleagues and managers.
As both a highly intelligent and dysregulated person — showing up to meetings, answering your emails, and generally being good at your job — it can feel destabilizing to be a beginner at something new.
Even if it’s managing a new workplace culture or making solid connections with co-workers, the process of making mistakes, re-learning something, or being thrown out of the stable environment of validation and recognition can be incredibly dysregulated, especially for highly intelligent people who find intense comfort in being the best at things.
Alongside feelings of shame, highly intelligent new employees can feel the need to ‘be on’ at all times.
Dana went on to explain, “Being a beginner can actually be really stressful for [their] nervous systems and can cultivate this environment where you feel like you need to ‘be on’ at all times in order to feel safe.”
Research from 2022 published in the Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health suggests that aligning competency levels amongst colleagues can actually contribute to a less stressful, more collaborative workplace environment, which would eliminate the need for new employees to feel as if they need to “meet the expectations” of their veteran co-workers.
Whether it’s conscious amongst the team or not, many people’s stress levels and productivity could be riding on the competency of this newcomer — only adding to the burden they feel upon entering the space and seeking validation.
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“Shame comes into the equation eventually,” Dana explained, suggesting that there’s a multifaceted experience for highly intelligent people in new jobs.
“It’s essentially the pressure that’s keeping you on. It’s like… unless these people can see that I can perform at this level all the time, I’m not worthy of having access to safety, love, and connection.”
In their new job, highly intelligent people are often trying to prove their worth to others.
While it’s a relatively stressful environment for the average employee to be “on” all the time to appease their bosses and colleagues, the highly intelligent consider it a safe space. Their safety and stability in the workplace is fueled by the pressure of shame — and the validation of others.
In this shame-ridden cycle where high-achieving employees are forced to be “activated” at all times to appease others, it’s inevitable that their self-esteem is negatively affected.
“It means that your nervous system is dysregulated,” Dana said. “Shame sits at this level of your identity and negatively impacts the relationship you have with yourself.”
Instead of being self-fulfilled by their work, they constantly seek validation — whether it’s academic success or praise in the workplace — and it’s interwoven into their identity even when they leave work or school.
While most of us might like to assign mindset shifts and workout regimes to heal this cycle of shame, this nervous system expert suggests addressing these issues is more foundational.
“[You must] fundamentally [adjust] the role that shame has previously played in being a coping mechanism for you,” she explained. “You need to move forward towards compassionate self-correction.”
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories