Woman Tells Date He’s Not A ‘Gentleman’ After He Spent $200 On Their Dinner Because He Refused To Pay For Her Uber To The Restaurant
What really constitutes a gentleman?
Dragana Gordic | Shutterstock Just what exactly makes a man a gentleman is up for debate and certainly not set in stone. One woman felt her date was not a gentleman because he wouldn’t pay for her Uber ride. However, etiquette may state otherwise.
A woman told her date he was not truly a gentleman after he spent over $200 on their meal.
The man took to Reddit to share his side of the story, including screenshots of texts between him and his date.
“Went to dinner on a first date with a girl to a pretty nice restaurant,” he shared. “Bill was $215 which I gladly paid and offered her dessert which she declined.”
By his account, the date went well overall.
“We had a fine date,” he said. “Nothing memorable but she was polite and enjoyable in conversation. I probably would’ve taken her out again if she was interested.”
Bobex-73 | Shutterstock
However, after what happened later that evening, a second date is certainly not in the cards.
“She Ubered there and I offered to drive her home after the date,” the man recounted. “When I offered, she said ‘sure’ and asked if I could drive her to buy some skincare at a market and she said she could Uber from there.”
While this might have stretched the limits of some people’s generosity, this man was happy to oblige and even offered to drive her home after the market.
The man refused to pay for the woman's earlier Uber when he drove her home from the date.
“As we’re pulling up to her place she asked me if I could pay for her Uber ride to the restaurant,” he said, explaining that she originally declined his offer to pick her up because she didn't want a stranger to have her address. While he understood her reasoning for refusing his offer to drive, he wasn’t quite sure how to take this request.
“I said ‘sure’ to avoid an argument in her driveway,” the man said. “Again, I don’t know this person so I figured I’d avoid a conflict.”
The conflict was not avoided entirely; however, and the situation only got more awkward from there.
“I get out of the car to say ‘bye,’ and as I’m headed back to the car door she asked me about the money again, which I replied to her saying I can send it over the phone,” he wrote. “We then had the following conversation which I’m not planning on continuing further. As you can see, I have some work to do to be a ‘gentleman,'” he concluded before sharing screenshots of a text exchange between him and his date.
Low-Professor2135 | Reddit
“I’m pretty put off by the request for money for the Uber,” he texted the woman. “I think it’s best we go our separate ways.”
His date was not happy to hear this.
“When I go on a date, I always get [an] offer to pay the Uber by a man even without asking,” she responded. “Honestly I’ve never asked a guy to pay because they usually care and offer even if I don’t mention it. It’s like [a] gentleman’s escort manner.”
There are mixed opinions on who should pay for a woman's Uber to a date.
There really doesn’t seem to be a right or wrong answer to who should have paid for the Uber ride, at least as far as etiquette is concerned. Many find it to be a considerate and chivalrous gesture while others find it wholly unnecessary.
“Dating expert Amy Nobile recommends that men in heterosexual relationships pick up the bill on all of the dates before a couple becomes exclusive,” per CNBC Select.
Based on this information, one could argue that the man should have paid for the Uber. However, the Uber ride was not technically part of the date — rather, it was the woman’s chosen form of transportation. That means that, really, he shouldn’t be on the hook for it. Besides, he did pay for their meal.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news and human interest topics.